First, advanced apologies because I'm typing this on my cell and sometimes it does some weird things with spacing. Also, going to try to keep it from getting too lengthy...
My FI and I have been together for about 8 and a half years. He has never been close with his mom. I have never been close with his mom. My family is very lovey and close, and his is much more distant. I tried for a long time to create a strong relationship with her, but she has never made any effort or really responded to my efforts. Which is fine. We dont have a bad relationship, we just don't have a relationship.
I have tried from the beginning to include her in small wedding stuff. Just like opinions on invites, asking if certain traditions were important to her, etc. And she has always been rude or acted uninterested. So I kind stopped trying. We still run things by her, but not every little detail.
FI told me last night that she approached him and told him she feels left out. Because I went shopping with my mom for her MOB dress and she wasnt invited. We havent done anything together in 8 years. 8 YEARS!
I just feel like I dont know where to go from here. This lady have never tried to be close with me or made any effort to make me feel a part of their family. A wedding does not change all of that.
How much would you ladies include her in? Very little? A lot more?
FI says he understands where I'm coming from, but at the same time I know he feels bad for her bc she's his mom. She's just such a negative woman, I dont want her to drag down this happy time.