Wedding Woes

How does one follow up about this?

Hi Everyone!
 
Just Getting back into the swing after my recent wedding! It was great.  I have a question.  A couple of guests gave us no card or gift at all.  Do you think we should follow up?  One person was one of our two best men.  We think it's rude that no gift was given, but also want to make sure it wasn't lost.  Any ideas?
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Re: How does one follow up about this?

  • baconsmombaconsmom
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    edited December 2011
    See, I just sent TY notes to everyone. If there was no gift from them, we thanked them for coming to celebrate with us. We figured if they sent something and it got lost, they'd let us know if we didn't thank them for it, right? 

    Of course, we didn't actually care if people didn't get us presents, and really were happy that they came. I'm guessing being pleased that someone celebrated with them isn't high on this couple's list. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23
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    edited December 2011
    Well, you can follow up...if you want to risk offending the person and them never speaking to you again. 
  • dharmabunnydharmabunny
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    edited December 2011
    Are they debt collectors?
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  • edited December 2011
    We didn't get a gift from one of my friends. I thought it was weird and maybe it had been misplaced. So, I just wrote a note thanking him for everything he has done for me, his friendship and attendance at the wedding. That way, if the gift had been misplaced, I wouldn't look like an_ass for not writing a thank you note, but I never referenced a gift directly in the note.
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  • dharmabunnydharmabunny
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    edited December 2011
    Y'all wrote thank you notes for people that just showed up, no present?  You have to do that?
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this?:
    Y'all wrote thank you notes for people that just showed up, no present?  You have to do that?
    Posted by dharmabunny
    I did not do this.
  • hmonkeyhmonkey
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    edited December 2011
    i didn't either, dharma.
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  • edited December 2011
    dharma - I did for this one friend, because it seemed so weird that there was no card, no present, no nothing from him. I was worried that he had brought something and it had been misplaced/stolen, so I wrote a note, erring on the side of caution.
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  • edited December 2011
    A gift is never required.  If they didn't give you a gift, they just didn't give you one.  It is considered tacky and rude to ask someone about giving you a gift.  I would just send a thank you card thanking them for attending and leave it at that.
  • baconsmombaconsmom
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    edited December 2011
    You don't have to do it, no. We had maybe 30 families show up, so really, it wasn't a stretch to write those extra 10 notes for people who didn't get us presents. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Whoa, watch OUT! I'm willing to bet some people are going to jump down your throat for this.  I, for one, am not.  I recently had a similar experience.  There were numerous people invited to my bridal shower that RSVP'd that they were coming, however in the end they were no shows.  I did not receive a present from any of them.  There were also a bunch of family members from OOT that were invited that we knew would not come, however according to my mother, it is customary to send a gift if you were invited and not going to be able to attend.  I had one aunt who sent me a gift and one of my FI's aunt's also.  The rest did not.  I do not think it is that rude to not attend and not send a gift, I do however, find it extremely rude to RSVP that you are coming and be a no show and not send a gift.  I for one will not be sending thank you notes to any of those people.

    As for the wedding thing, I think I might send one to someone who attended the wedding but did not give a gift, just to cover my bases.

    But I think it is pretty sucky to be a best man in someone's wedding, and not give them a gift.
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23
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    edited December 2011
    I'm laughing like a loon over here.

    You watch out NOLA.  Wink  We're out to get ya. 
  • GBCKGBCK
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this?:
    Whoa, watch OUT! I'm willing to bet some people are going to jump down your throat for this.  I, for one, am not.  I recently had a similar experience.  There were numerous people invited to my bridal shower that RSVP'd that they were coming, however in the end they were no shows.  I did not receive a present from any of them.  There were also a bunch of family members from OOT that were invited that we knew would not come, however according to my mother, it is customary to send a gift if you were invited and not going to be able to attend.  I had one aunt who sent me a gift and one of my FI's aunt's also.  The rest did not.  I do not think it is that rude to not attend and not send a gift, I do however, find it extremely rude to RSVP that you are coming and be a no show and not send a gift.  I for one will not be sending thank you notes to any of those people. As for the wedding thing, I think I might send one to someone who attended the wedding but did not give a gift, just to cover my bases. But I think it is pretty sucky to be a best man in someone's wedding, and not give them a gift.
    Posted by regfalange
    Not understanding copy-and-paste?
  • baconsmombaconsmom
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this?:
    Whoa, watch OUT! I'm willing to bet some people are going to jump down your throat for this.  I, for one, am not.  

    I recently had a similar experience.  There were numerous people invited to my bridal shower that RSVP'd that they were coming, however in the end they were no shows.  I did not receive a present from any of them.  There were also a bunch of family members from OOT that were invited that we knew would not come, however according to my mother, it is customary to send a gift if you were invited and not going to be able to attend.  I had one aunt who sent me a gift and one of my FI's aunt's also.  The rest did not.  

    I do not think it is that rude to not attend and not send a gift, I do however, find it extremely rude to RSVP that you are coming and be a no show and not send a gift.  I for one will not be sending thank you notes to any of those people. As for the wedding thing, I think I might send one to someone who attended the wedding but did not give a gift, just to cover my bases. But I think it is pretty sucky to be a best man in someone's wedding, and not give them a gift.
    Posted by regfalange
    Just leaving this here. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Hey I'm just sayin! I got my head ripped OFF over the weekend, and I'm thinking that there are a few people on here that will go nuts on someone if their post sounds even remotely selfish.

    NOT THAT I THINK SHE SOUNDS SELFISH, or that everyone is ready to go house...Smile
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
  • 6fsn6fsn
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    edited December 2011
    Nola is the HEIGHT of selfish!
  • **O-Face****O-Face**
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    edited December 2011
    Oh yes, NOLA is a living terror!
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this?:
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this? : Just leaving this here. 
    Posted by baconsmom

    Why?
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
  • dharmabunnydharmabunny
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this?:
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this? : Why?
    Posted by regfalange
    You're speyshul.

    Nola is the epitome of crass! ;)
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  • edited December 2011
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this?:
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this? : You're speyshul. Nola is the epitome of crass! ;)
    Posted by dharmabunny

    I am so confused right now...
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
  • edited December 2011
    Just right now?
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  • edited December 2011
    Reg, this post isn't from me. I read it on another board and was just as confused as you are now. So, I posted it over here for my pals to help explain how one goes about asking why they weren't given a gift.

    Does this help?
    image
  • edited December 2011
    Oh, ok sorry.  Well I guess you should have specified that first since this is a public board and random person reading it would obviously think you wrote it. 

    It is also not very nice that you used this as a platform to make fun of someone else.
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this?:
    Oh, ok sorry.  Well I guess you should have specified that first since this is a public board and random person reading it would obviously think you wrote it.  It is also not very nice that you used this as a platform to make fun of someone else.
    Posted by regfalange
    Or you could lurk before you post so you have a feel for the board. 
  • edited December 2011
    Reg, I'm not making fun of her. I truly don't know how you go about doing this, so I asked. We usually know when people are poking fun. It's pretty easy to tell.:)

    You should stick around, I'm starting to like you.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yes, renegade, we need to make every post super specific so all the numb nuts can understand. Please EABOD & DIAF.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: How does one follow up about this?:
    Reg, I'm not making fun of her. I truly don't know how you go about doing this, so I asked. We usually know when people are poking fun. It's pretty easy to tell.:) You should stick around, I'm starting to like you.
    Posted by NOLABridesmaid

    Are you being serious or just being sarchastic?

    And Min-there is no need to be rude.  I am new here so I'm sorry if I think that a public forum should be used for what the name of the public forum is.  Wedding woes.  I'm not really seeing very many posts about wedding woes on this board.  It seems like more of your group posting about what they ate for breakfast or what they are watching on tv.  I thought that was what facebook and twitter were for.  Not the knot message boards. So sue me for evidently being a "numb nut".
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
  • edited December 2011
    Reg, I'm being serious.

    Some of the best WW'ers were flamed. You should stay, and not go off in a huff.

    Where is Kuus?
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  • edited December 2011
    y'all, we are using the internet WRONG!
    image
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