Relationships Poll

midgetthemighty · July 2012

First opinions: I liked him from the start but when he started at Home Depot, he was dating someone else. Later, he once got caught watching me walk out to the garden register, as in he was watching my ass and another cashier caught him and told me about it. His face still gets red when you talk about how he was caught.

brittneyh4 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? H does. I give my input but overall he makes the final decision (thank God) - he's the more decisive of the two.

Which one of you married/dated up? We just talked about this yesterday. I say I did, he says he did. He's smarter, more educated and makes more money, but he says I kick his ass in the looks department.

Who is the better spouse/partner? We're pretty equal. We treat each other really well and we've fallen into the traditional/gender roles really well. It's where we're comfortable and agree with it, so it works. He's more forgiving and balances me out a little, so I'll tip the scale in his favor.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? That we could have less debt. He was married before and got stuck with a mountain of debt tied to the house and it's been quite a hole to dig out of. Slowly but surely, he just got a new job this last year and makes triple what he was before, so it's gotten better.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? We play a lot and have a ton of fun, but we also communicate really well and understand each other. We have a lot of respect for one another, where a lot of our other married friends really don't show that (and they're not poking at one another jokingly, either).

shaydenise · July 2012

I don't even know if I should bother posting since it will get eaten. Whatev, I will anyway.

First impressions: I thought H was totally cute but waaaay too nice/flattering. I don't take compliments very well and every time he'd compliment me I'd think it was weird (I sound like a jackasss lol). I almost didn't go out with him again because of it. Definitely glad I did though ha.

NicoleSahara · July 2012

Shoot midge, I saw your post for a second and now it's gone. My first opinion of H was that he was the hottest guy I'd ever seen. And then he came and sat right next to me and I felt like a giddy school girl. He was really nice but also seemed really shy.

NicoleSahara · July 2012

Shoot midge, I saw your post for a second and now it's gone. My first opinion of H was that he was the hottest guy I'd ever seen. And then he came and sat right next to me and I felt like a giddy school girl. He was really nice but also seemed really shy.

StefffiC · July 2012

DH thought I was the most organized put together person ever.

I thought he was a good guy, who was really attractive, and I knew when I met him I would spend my life with him.

andrea2473 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:07410eb1-5302-468b-a89d-15134a09a558">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]This may be flameful, but if we are being honest here, I like being in the "traditional" type of relationship where H makes the money and takes care of all the bills and stuff. I cant wait to be a SAHM. I know its not for everyone, and that im capable of doing anything I want, but i really enjoy that we are both old fashioned in that sense.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

No judgements from me. I would love to be a SAHM or SAHW. H knows that if he can ever make that happen, I won't work. It's not that I hate work, I just enjoy being domestic. I take pride in our little apt because I've worked hard to make it nice. H is totally okay with that and is working hard to make it happen.

I think the problem with that mentality is when a female feels locked into it. I would never train a daughter to think she can only be happy in the home. I would personally love it, but it's not for everyone. Besides the fact that I wouldn't be a traditional SAHM or W. I mean, there would be marguaritas with dinner and plenty of fun plans outside the house. Not like that weird schit you see on Wife Swap and stuff where the wife thinks it's her "role" and gives her husband foot baths. That creeps me out. I just know I would be happiest taking care of H (and our future familty) with no one to answer to, LOL.

LetsHikeToday · July 2012

I'm kinda late but I'll play

Who has more power in your relationship? I probably do because of the fact that I'm in charge of everything since he is either deployed or working 24 hour shifts. We balance out when he is home though; however, I've learned how to do everything to run a house hold.

Which one of you married/dated up? I think he's pretty cute so I think I married up looks wise. I think he did a good job finding me though too.

Who is the better spouse/partner? I am when it comes to things like taking care of everything, making sure his laundry is done, cooking all the food, stocking up on groceries (like I said, he is either gone or working 24 hours). But when it comes to being supportive, he is so awesome at that.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? He gets defensive sometimes and I wish he wouldn't. I like to talk about things right away and he needs to process first.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? We really love each other. He is more supportive than I could have ever wished for in a partner.

katiewhompus · July 2012

New question: What were your first opinions of each other?

I thought he was mean and he kind of scared me. He was the night manager at the store I had just started working at (as a cashier) and he is very no nonsense at work and expects his employees to act accordingly. My first day I walked in and he was yelling at a worker for not working fast enough. (this was actually a regular thing with them and this was how they bantered, I just didn't know it.

He thought I was a cute girl who was way too smart to be working at the store. According to him I was there for 10 minutes before all the males in the store were trying to figure out if I was taken or not.

Anysunrise · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:f6a2cf1e-ea4c-41da-b3a1-9e898ecdf023">Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Bonus points for explaining your answers. ( I took this as a S/O of GBCN posts) and yes, I know these are somewhat controversial questions, just have some fun with it and answer what you want. Who has more power in your relationship? Which one of you married/dated up? Who is the better spouse/partner? If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? Your favorite thing about your relationship?
Posted by KateJ10[/QUOTE]

<div>I'd say he does. 1. Main breadwinner. 2. 12 years older than me. 3. College educated whereas I'm a high school drop out (currently, at least). It's not SUPER skewed, since I'm definitely as smart, if not as educated, but I absolutely defer to him most of the time.</div><div>
</div><div>Hard to say. He's hot, educated, atheltic, responsible, and awesome, but I'm pretty rad too. If I had to pick one, I'd say I probably was the one that married up.</div><div>
</div><div>Him, totally. I am not at all empathetic, and while I'm not awful at the rest of the stuff, I'm not great either. He, however, can get a little condescending at times, but for the most part is incredibly thoughtful, caring and supportive.</div><div>
</div><div>I wish I was closer in age to him. But not that he was closer in age to me, because I definitely wouldn't have married him had he been my age. Or likely been that attracted to him. Older men forevah. But yeah, to get serious. It's mostly for the disadvantages listed in the first answer. </div><div>
</div><div>How perfect we are for each other. I can't really think of any other way to put it. We have a ton of fun, we have so many similar interests, we like all the same stuff, it just kind of blows me away sometimes that I found someone who matched me so well.</div>

RWS2011 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? Because FI is laid back, I would say that I drive most day to day decisions, but for larger matters, we work as equals.

Which one of you married/dated up? We both come from similar backgrounds, but I think his parents made a little more money than mine.

Who is the better spouse/partner? He is. I can be moody, temperamental, and pessimistic, not to mention that I get frequent migraines. He is incredibly patient and supportive.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? I would like more spontaneity and fun. I know that we could spice things up a little bit on a budget, but it would be easier with buckets of money.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? That I feel like a have a true partner and companion. I liked living alone, but I like living with him better. I made it through alright as a single parent, but I like having his help better. And so on. We both appreciate how supportive we are of each other and that we can really depend on the other to be there. That's not a sexy answer, but damn it, it's important!

New question: What were your first opinions of each other? I thought he was shy, quiet and a little too nice for my taste. I dated my share of assholes. However, I came around! He nicknamed me Wonder Woman because when we met I was going to school full time, working part time, and single parenting.

AdeleDazeem · July 2012

First Impressions:

Him - I dig that girl.
Me - Please, get away.

Arwo - you say that you don't like talking about marriage as a business contract but then you say you aren't into the lovey-dovey stuff, so now I'm all curious what your views on marriage are.

I actually do think of marriage is partially a business contract (merging of assets). Marriage is also a lifestyle choice and many things (like love, support, family, etc) come with it. What made me decide to make such a arrangement with him was based on our mutual love and respect - I'm not sure I could do this with someone else.

LP11509 · July 2012

Which one of you married/dated up?
Financially? He earns more money than me, BUT he also brought debt (student loans). I earn much less money, but had 0 debt before. So I guess it sort of evens out? Other than that, I think we are also pretty even in terms of intelligence, etc.
Who is the better spouse/partner?Honestly? Me. H definitely isn't a bad partner by any means (I wouldn't have married him if he was), but he has more selfish tendencies than I do.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?How we resolve conflicts. I want to fight things out or at least discuss them throughly. H tends to apologize, then want to sweep it under the rug with minimal discussion. Sometimes, I actually WANT him to yell at me, or express any kind of emotion in general while arguing.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?We can act completely goofy around each other and laugh. We are comfortable with each other.
ETA: Forgot to answer the first question about power. I would say me, only because I tend to be more picky/opinionated. H is pretty easy to please. So usually whatever I want is fine with him. I'm also more assertive in general than he is - part of the social worker within me, I guess.

StefffiC · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:a62695d6-61d3-4324-809f-37e38af3b3fa">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Relationships Poll : No judgements from me. I would love to be a SAHM or SAHW. H knows that if he can ever make that happen, I won't work. It's not that I hate work, I just enjoy being domestic. I take pride in our little apt because I've worked hard to make it nice. H is totally okay with that and is working hard to make it happen. I think the problem with that mentality is when a female feels locked into it. I would never train a daughter to think she can only be happy in the home. I would personally love it, but it's not for everyone. Besides the fact that I wouldn't be a traditional SAHM or W. I mean, there would be marguaritas with dinner and plenty of fun plans outside the house. Not like that weird schit you see on Wife Swap and stuff where the wife thinks it's her "role" and gives her husband foot baths. That creeps me out. I just know I would be happiest taking care of H (and our future familty) with no one to answer to, LOL.
Posted by andrea2473[/QUOTE]

I have zero desire to ever be a stay at home wife or mother. DH would stay home if it's an option until the kids are in school and/or if his job situation doens't improve he may take some time off and finish the house.

If it's what you want and you enjoy it then I think you're lucky that you can do so. It shows a level of responsibility and planning many people don't want to go to. I would start climbing the walls after day two. I don't think I would enjoy working 100% from home, either. I like being at work and I like my job. I'll be happy when I can dial it down a few notches, but I have no desire to quit.

It takes all kinds!

Smash Adams · July 2012

First impression of current BF: he's funny. And ridiculously smart. And old. And maybe gay.

I don't know what his first impression of me was.

musicalsunlight · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? : Eh. That is tricky. I think I get what I "want" a lot, but J is pretty stubborn and opinionated so he really doesn't do something if he doesn't agree with it. I'd say we are pretty equal.

Which one of you married/dated up?: Financially, my family is overall probably more well off. But we are both very young and students so in that regard, neither of us have money. Lookswise, I'd say we are also pretty equal. It sounds like a cop out but whatever.

Who is the better spouse/partner?: I think I'm more patient but J is better at being vocal about how much he cares about me. So usually I feel like the worse one, hah.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?: For j to be more patient and for me to vocalize my feelings about him more so that he doesn't feel badly sometimes.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?: We get along so well in a non-romantic way too. I love how weird we can be and just totally accept each other.

andrea2473 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:c0eb2c59-e323-494d-833b-0e0da76b3d9f">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Relationships Poll : I have zero desire to ever be a stay at home wife or mother. DH would stay home if it's an option until the kids are in school and/or if his job situation doens't improve he may take some time off and finish the house. If it's what you want and you enjoy it then I think you're lucky that you can do so. It shows a level of responsibility and planning many people don't want to go to. I would start climbing the walls after day two. I don't think I would enjoy working 100% from home, either. I like being at work and I like my job. I'll be happy when I can dial it down a few notches, but I have no desire to quit. It takes all kinds!
Posted by StefffiC[/QUOTE]

I don't have a job that I enjoy though, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I've never had one that gives me a sense of accomplishment. And I like being in charge of the schedule, not being tied to one. I think that's the biggest difference for me.

acaponi87 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:1b43c08b-6c04-4018-9561-599b0853ad5d">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]New question: What were your first opinions of each other? I thought he was mean and he kind of scared me. He was the night manager at the store I had just started working at (as a cashier) and he is very no nonsense at work and expects his employees to act accordingly. My first day I walked in and he was yelling at a worker for not working fast enough. (this was actually a regular thing with them and this was how they bantered, I just didn't know it. He thought I was a cute girl who was way too smart to be working at the store. According to him I was there for 10 minutes before all the males in the store were trying to figure out if I was taken or not.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

Good question: I thought he was handsome, funny and an arrogant U of M asshole. All of which are pretty true (I'll take away asshole but he is arrogant). I'm not sure what his first impressions of me were. I know he thought I looked like Kristen Stewart who he loves so he thought I was hot at least.

K&J64 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? We strive to be egalitarian and I think we succeed most of the time. However J is able to get me to do little things I don't want to do more so than I, but that's because I'm a sucker.

Which one of you married/dated up? We're equal except in the looks department - I married up. She also is more educated, now - but we meet when we were both in undergrad.

Who is the better spouse/partner? I am because I weed the garden and mow the lawn which is crap.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? We'd have a gardener. No we'd get to go on dates more. We don't get much time to do things just the two of us between my work and family and friend obligations on the weekends. We have dinner together almost every night, but I'd like to go out and do things more. It's my fault for over committing our time with others.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? We have fun, just sitting around at home we laugh and have fun, it's wonderful being in love with your best friend.

Oh and Blue - no judgement from me. J and I jokingly argue over who will be the SAHW/M all the time. I wish I could be, I would be a Martha Stewart level of awesome SAHW.

StefffiC · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:76b90b8d-28e6-4319-ae58-1fbb7b21af92">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Relationships Poll : I don't have a job that I enjoy though, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I've never had one that gives me a sense of accomplishment. And I like being in charge of the schedule, not being tied to one. I think that's the biggest difference for me.
Posted by andrea2473[/QUOTE]

My schedule is somewhat flexible - I can take time off as long as nothing is on fire at work that requires my attention. I get to work from home some, so I do have some freedom. And, I have 4 weeks of PTO every year.

There is a huge sense of accomplishment with my job and even though my boss is very tough on me she's fair and she's good about telling me when I do good work. I enjoy working for her.

LetsHikeToday · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:0961551e-c5ca-426d-a96d-1de6e1e9c7de">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]First impression of current BF: he's funny. And ridiculously smart. And old. And maybe gay. I don't know what his first impression of me was.
Posted by Smash Adams[/QUOTE]
This made me laugh.

Smash Adams · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:85ae13c4-4b97-4ccf-8728-062453196527">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Relationships Poll : This made me laugh.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]
None of that mushy bullshit with me. Truly was my thought process.

brandichamberlain · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?

I do. FI is really laid back and I am a control freak. It works for us.

Which one of you married/dated up?
Appearances, I did. Financially, FI did. I make 9X the amount that he does.

Who is the better spouse/partner?

FI has a lot more patience and is really good about making sure he puts effort in each and every day. When I get stressed I tend to slack on that.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?

That we had schedules that were closer. Right now we usually only see each other on Sundays and then a few hours during the week.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?

That we are both kind of weird/goofy/quirky and we get each other. We are always laughing and doing goofy stuff at home.

saharnshard · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?
He does. He has the final say on all big decisions.

Which one of you married/dated up?
We both did in different ways. Social economically, I did. Physically, he did.

Who is the better spouse/partner?
Depends on the day and situation. We both have things that we're good. He's good at problem-solving, I'm good at everything else. LOL.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
I can't think of anything off the top of my head.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?
I love that we are different, but so much alike.

eguzman2323 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?
I do, im very persuasive
Which one of you married/dated up?
He dated up in age lol and accomplishments wise and I dated up as in personality and values wise

Who is the better spouse/partner?
He is! He is just so kind, patient and thoughtfull... I am not that much lol
If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
That he would get mad at me more often, he tends to keep some things to himself just to avoid argument, so I get carried away and push the envelope a little too far sometimes.
Your favorite thing about your relationship?
That we compliment each other...I am more outgoing and spontaneous, he is much more reserved and organized

Lizzieyounce · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:07410eb1-5302-468b-a89d-15134a09a558">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]This may be flameful, but if we are being honest here, I like being in the "traditional" type of relationship where H makes the money and takes care of all the bills and stuff. I cant wait to be a SAHM. I know its not for everyone, and that im capable of doing anything I want, but i really enjoy that we are both old fashioned in that sense.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Oh, Blue...I think I love you.</div><div>
</div><div>I feel the same way! I didn't think that I would like it as much as I do, because I always had to work and I liked the control, but I was so wrong. I know that I'm in nursing school, and I plan on working part time as a nurse, but I do it now because I WANT to not because I HAVE to work. If I decided tomorrow that I wanted to quit and just SAHM, FI would totally support me in that decision.</div><div>
</div><div>I love how traditional, yet modern FI is.</div>

Lizzieyounce · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? It depends..he handles the money, but I also have a lot of say in that. I run the house and it's budget, but he has a lot of say in that. Over all, though I'd say that FI has the most power.

Which one of you married/dated up? I did. There are so many men out there (at least from my experience) that wouldn't take on a divorcee who has a pre-teen with a congenital heart defect and a teen girl with not only the typical teenager behavior, but ADHD...severe ADHD.

Who is the better spouse/partner? I am, I think. That's a hard one.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? How do I put this? He's not bad in bed, but I wish he'd be a little more adventurous? This is prolly TMI.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? I love that we can just spend time together without having to say a word. I love how I will walk past him and he will grab my hand and kiss it, or just reach out and stroke my arm. I love how, when he gets home from work (he works till 11pm) he will pop his head in the kids room to check on them, then come and kiss me hello.

Girlie1030 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?
We're fairly equal I think. Though when it comes to the animals, I tend to make all decisions.

Which one of you married/dated up?
I did. Without a doubt.

Who is the better spouse/partner?
When things are normal, he probably is. Right now with his insane training schedule, I am.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
We pretty well suck at fighting. We rarely do it but when we do, it's not good. We're both too stubborn, I tend to get passive agressive and he avoids.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?
The playfulness and comfort with each other.

celticmyss · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?

I think I do in general if only because FH is pretty laid back. However, if I were to start trying to dictate his behavior or otherwise control him he wouldn't stand for it. He is a great balance of accommodating but not a push over.

Who married/dated up?

It's a running joke that he definitely did. Financially that is basically true but I think he is better looking.

Who is the better spouse/partner?

That depends on the measure. I think I am more considerate but I am also more likely to get upset about something trivial. Either way he's pretty awesome and I am lucky to have him.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?

He doesn't fight back. If I get upset he just stays quiet and doesn't engage me in the argument. Usually this drives me batty at the time but once I take some time to chill out it blows over so it may be a good thing. At the same time, since he doesn't argue I worry he's secretly upset about stuff but won't bring it up.

Favorite thing?

We have an awesome time together and I think we make each other incredibly happy. We'd both had previous long term relationships and I think we both are amazed at how much better this one is. I know I personally find myself stopping on a regular basis and going "oh so this is how it is supposed to be!"

arwo · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:ab5bf2e8-1669-41cd-813a-ee7ba9eab903">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]First Impressions: Him - I dig that girl. Me - Please, get away. Arwo - you say that you don't like talking about marriage as a business contract but then you say you aren't into the lovey-dovey stuff, so now I'm all curious what your views on marriage are. I actually do think of marriage is partially a business contract (merging of assets). Marriage is also a lifestyle choice and many things (like love, support, family, etc) come with it. What made me decide to make such a arrangement with him was based on our mutual love and respect - I'm not sure I could do this with someone else.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

<div>Hey, just saw this. </div><div>
</div><div>I didn't mean to imply that I am not lovey-dovey. I love my husband a lot. Like, really a lot. I love hime more than anyone else in the world, and he is my absolute favorite person ever. But I don't think that "falling in love" describes how our relationship developed. We certainly have mutual love and respect, and at this point, he is the only person I could love.</div><div>
</div><div>The thing is, I don't think he is the only person in the world with whom I could have been happy. At this point he is the only one that will do--but I can imagine that there are other people, had I met them 8 years ago, with whom I could have developed a relationship that led to marriage. I am sure that it would have been a very different relationship than the one I have with my husband, but who's to say it wouldn't have led to a happy marriage? I am happy (thrilled!) to be married to my husband, though. He is excellent, as is our relationship.</div><div>
</div><div>I suppose that I don't think of marriage as a business because of my (rather cynical) view that a business relationship is inherently manipulative; it's about manipulating another person or group of people to get something that you want. If I have a client, I perform a service for them in order to get money. As a vendor, I might do things that seem nice (e.g., giving out coupons, offering discounts, throwing in an extra service or product "for free") but only because it serves me in some way: repeat business, good reviews leading to more clients, etc. Business relationships are fundamentally tit-for-tat.</div><div>
</div><div>I do not think of my marriage with my husband in that way. I don't do for him hoping that I will get something in return. I don't keep score, and I don't do things so that he'll owe me a favor some time down the road. He feels the same way. I suppose that the behaviors may be similar to those in a business relationship, but the motivations are very different. That makes a difference to me.</div><div>
</div><div>Geez, sorry that got so long.</div>

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