+1 question/what are you doing

acaponi87 · December 2011

With all these questions on guests recently, I finally realized that maybe what I'm planning on doing isn't so normal.

In my circle of friends and family/area(?), it is typical to invite pretty much everyone with a guest, even if they aren't in a relationship. FI and I will be doing this for basically everyone with the exception of our younger cousins (still in high school) and people who are widowed, like my grandma who would never dream of bringing someone and would be offended even if we offered.

It is also typical if you are one of these single people, to either don't bring someone or bring a friend or someone that the bride/groom knows. Technically they could bring anyone, but that is just the norm..I wouldn't be annoyed if they did.

Is anyone else giving their guests +1's who aren't in relationships?

diamondx423 · December 2011

We're giving a +1 to everyone over 18, except for our recently divorced relatives.

Olliee1607 · December 2011

Nope, no one is getting a plus one. 95% of our guest list is family so everyone will know everyone. The only people who are getting to bring guests that arent family are the people who are in relationships at the time I send out my invites. And they will be addressed to their spouses names, so if they break up they know they can't bring their best friend or something LOL.

jaime10285 · December 2011

We're not only because of space. It's a very nice thing to do if you are able to.

gregamywedding · December 2011

We are not giving anyone not in a relationship a +1. If any of our single friends get in one by the time the wedding comes they will be allowed to bring them. I am not going to tell them sorry you didn't RSVP your new boyfriend so he can't come. We don't have to give the final number to the caterer until a week before the wedding so if it goes up by a few not a problem.

sleblanc72 · December 2011

We're also giving everyone over 18 a +1.

kristin183 · December 2011

Yeap.. I never wanted to go to a wedding alone.
Most people usually bring a date or another friend.

midgetthemighty · December 2011

The only people not in a relationship we're giving plus ones to are the WP. They probably won't bring anyone, but we're still giving them the opportunity. If we had the space, I would give everyone, even the truly single people, a guest.

kelsey+brandon · December 2011

We're only giving people +1s if they're in a relationship, and in that case, we'll specifically address the invitation to our guest and their SO. We don't have enough space to invite everyone with a plus one. Two of our friends were talking about who they were going to bring to our wedding this weekend...FI was like...umm...yourselves. haha

franklissa · December 2011

We are but that is because it is only 3 people - my MOH, his best man and my FBIL that is 20. My fiance at first didn't want to let his little brother have a plus one but I thought that would be akward with him being the only person that didn't have someone. Although I'm not sure that any of the three will bring a guest at this point.

michellep1 · December 2011

We are giving +1s to people that are married, engaged, or in a serious relationship that we have both met the significant other (or one has met them many times, since we were long distance until very recently). We will also be extending +1s to those that won't know many people there to be on their own, for example my MOH's sister gets a plus one since my MOH will probably not be able to spend a lot of time with her there and she doesn't know anyone else really (besides her parents).

The reason for this clause about having met the significant other is that its not up to us to determine if someone's in a serious relationship, I have multiple friends that I'm sure think their relationships are serious, however they tend to bounce from boy to boy every few months, and I don't want someone there that neither of us knows, not to mention that the budget is a concern. If I didn't have to worry about the budget I'd give everyone a plus one, but I do!

Megbo2012 · December 2011

I don't think anyone will get a plus one. Everyone will be invited specifically on the invitations.

Megbo2012 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:eef9549c-cb61-45f3-9e6a-0e688413d849">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]We are giving +1s to people that are married, engaged, or in a serious relationship that we have both met the significant other (or one has met them many times, since we were long distance until very recently). We will also be extending +1s to those that won't know many people there to be on their own, for example my MOH's sister gets a plus one since my MOH will probably not be able to spend a lot of time with her there and she doesn't know anyone else really (besides her parents). The reason for this clause about having met the significant other is that its not up to us to determine if someone's in a serious relationship, I have multiple friends that I'm sure think their relationships are serious, however they tend to bounce from boy to boy every few months, and I don't want someone there that neither of us knows, not to mention that the budget is a concern. If I didn't have to worry about the budget I'd give everyone a plus one, but I do!
Posted by michellep1[/QUOTE]

<div>So if FI had a cousin who you never met get married, you wouldn't be upset that you wouldn't be invited [according to this clause]? Jw</div>

midgetthemighty · December 2011

Michelle, do you have any idea how much you could hurt someone by doing that? Making it a "clause" does not make it okay.

I'm sure you've heard about my experience with things like that. It sucks.

daria24 · December 2011

We are inviting anyone who is in a relationship. The few "truly single" guests we are inviting won't be getting a +1, except possibly my sister who is my witness-she's asked if she can bring her best friend instead of whatever flavor of the month she is sampling in June.

Carebear62584 · December 2011

We are giving +1s to just about everyone. We aren't giving them to those widowed. We also aren't giving them to 2 of my friends from my summer job (I've worked with them for 4 years and we hang out outside of work). I was really close with the girl for about 2 years but the last year or so (after she broke up with her long term boyfriend) we kind of stopped hanging out as much, but she was one of the first people I called when we got engaged. We still do and still talk but I was on the fence about inviting her. But then she was asking me all about the wedding the other day so I decided I am going to invite her without a +1 along with one of the guys I hang out with without a +1. I figured they could go together since they don't have SO's anyway. I am inviting one other couple from work (he was my manager for 3 years and his girlfriend was the wedding coordinator and has offerend me all sorts of help and suggestions).

amonis · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:c5f37573-7e94-45df-a2a7-f76ef377193e">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]We are inviting anyone who is in a relationship. The few "truly single" guests we are inviting won't be getting a +1, except possibly my sister who is my witness-she's asked if she can bring her best friend instead of <strong>whatever flavor of the month she is sampling in June.</strong>
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

<div>This made me literally LOL</div>

KrisKenny · December 2011

Anyone single will be getting a +1. I would hate to go to a wedding by myself (if I was single), why would I want to do that to someone else - family or not.

So, if they are in a relationship, the invite will be addressed to both. If they are single, invite will be addressed to so-and-so "and guest" I made sure to cut my guestlist down so that I have enough space for everyone, just in case everyone decides to bring a guest. If not, we save money by not having the extra people.

mbishop7 · December 2011

Pretty much the only people that will bring plus ones would be the people on our (my FI and I's portion) of the guest list.. everyone will have a +1 unless they are divorced or older. I wouldn't want to go to a wedding alone if I was in a relationship, so I wouldn't want my guests to feel alone either! We have the space though but I can understand those that wouldn't do it because of space issues too..

Zimsgirl · December 2011

We're not giving plus ones to hardly anyone. The only couples coming will be married or engaged. A lot of our friends don't have SO's or their relationships aren't super serious so we're keeping it to just married and engaged

midgetthemighty · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:40efa3ca-1962-4c80-96b4-132e5d9b486d">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]We're not giving plus ones to hardly anyone. The only couples coming will be married or engaged. A lot of our friends don't have SO's or their relationships aren't super serious so we're keeping it to just married and engaged
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

All I'm going to say is that I hope you don't hurt anyone's feelings with this. My limiting it to married people and engaged couples, you are judging relationships cut and dry and that offends people.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:a41df21d-6359-4c8c-a935-a86addef3898">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: +1 question/what are you doing : All I'm going to say is that I hope you don't hurt anyone's feelings with this. My limiting it to married people and engaged couples, you are judging relationships cut and dry and that offends people.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
I looked at our guest list and no one that is not married or engaged is in a relationship so if they are in one by the time of the wedding it will still be new and in my book not serious KWIM?

midgetthemighty · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:f16d23b7-7cf4-462e-b055-0d6b6e330285">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: +1 question/what are you doing : I looked at our guest list and no one that is not married or engaged is in a relationship so if they are in one by the time of the wedding it will still be new and in my book not serious KWIM?
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

No, I don't. I have known several people who have known each other for only a few months, gotten married, and lived fully wonderful lives.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:17ab54d7-6f7d-48aa-8b32-464a1bb4e355">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: +1 question/what are you doing : No, I don't. I have known several people who have known each other for only a few months, gotten married, and lived fully wonderful lives.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
Then I guess this is one of those things we won't agree on. Just don't want this to turn into an argument

Megbo2012 · December 2011

6 months is a new relationship to you, Zim? Why?

Zimsgirl · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:5d375ebb-be30-476b-862c-96bc2801b582">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]6 months is a new relationship to you, Zim? Why?
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]
I know the people that are single that will be at our wedding and it won't be serious for them. I guess for some it could be serious but I know my guests

midgetthemighty · December 2011

It's etiquette. You can't agree to disagree on etiquette.

Megbo2012 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:3c57fd07-e008-40f5-a8bc-e9f138dcd9ad">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: +1 question/what are you doing : I know the people that are single that will be at our wedding and it won't be serious for them. I guess for some it could be serious but <strong>I know my guests</strong>
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>But people change. What if someone you think you know finds the person of their dreams and "changes." </div>

midgetthemighty · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:3c57fd07-e008-40f5-a8bc-e9f138dcd9ad">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: +1 question/what are you doing : I know the people that are single that will be at our wedding and it won't be serious for them. I guess for some it could be serious but I know my guests
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

I guess I just prefer to have more faith in my guests. Don't you think that eventually the people who always seem to have a "flavor of the month" will find "the one"? I like to wish for happiness for others and I would never snub their current "fling" for that very reason. It could be the person they spend the rest of their lives with.

My cousin has had more girlfriends than any other person I've ever known. If he's dating someone at the time, he'll be allowed to bring her even though he could have a new one before we're back from Disney based on his history. You just never know.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

Our guest list is finalized and only engaged or married couples are coming. It's decided

Megbo2012 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_1-questionwhat-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:362065d6-66ea-436a-aaf2-786ef5acee29Post:8db74bdc-9431-4785-a93e-752cf281277b">Re: +1 question/what are you doing</a>:
[QUOTE]Our guest list is finalized and only engaged or married couples are coming. It's decided
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>What if someone on the guest list got engaged in the next six months, then? Would you simply say "the list is final!" and leave it at that?</div>

+1 question/what are you doing

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