i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...

Fancypantsamy · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:96baf477-0b50-41a9-bc6a-ecd92c0855b6">Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]I own this board!
Posted by bripratt2[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Such a troll.</div>

Peledreamsofrain · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:fa373f97-d483-4c4b-8181-6e72a2a1a835">Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people... : Such a troll.
Posted by Fancypantsamy[/QUOTE]

Not only that, but an incredibly tedious and boring one.

Viczaesar · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:b9f18e66-3449-400c-a0bc-07b382bd5e45">Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok people lets argue about what the post is actuallyy about beinggggggg niiiiiiceeeeeeeeeee as oppppoooooooosed to being meeeeeeannnnnn okkkkkkkkk go!
Posted by bripratt2[/QUOTE]
Bless your heart.

bripratt2 · December 2012

fine would everyon like to me to voice my opinion? I would gladly do it but i mean you all seemed fine starting drama on your own really

banana468 · December 2012

Really? You came to WP to bash your friends and then had your own drama handed back to you when you were told that you were being inappropriate.

Are you sure you're not a spoon because you really seem to enjoy stirring the pot.

bripratt2 · December 2012

No see you guys are just mean I started out really nice and tried to be really democratic about the whole thing I don't think its wrong to think its not a good idea to have the whole double ceremony in fact i simply didnt know that anyone felt that way before yesterday but I think what everyones been doing is bullying. There's a nice way to do it instead of callibg soneone ryde and folish right off the bat. I really didn't think anything I said was cause for such uproar but at this point its a nice way to occupy myself while im homr sick :

bripratt2 · December 2012

And since grammar and spelling number one priority here, go figure, considet all errors fixed to your liking :

Viczaesar · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:4c7cc58e-5429-4dea-aa46-56f45efcc35f">Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]No see you guys are just mean I started out really nice and tried to be really democratic about the whole thing I don't think its wrong to think its not a good idea to have the whole double ceremony in fact i simply didnt know that anyone felt that way before yesterday but I think what everyones been doing is bullying. There's a nice way to do it instead of callibg soneone ryde and folish right off the bat. I really didn't think anything I said was cause for such uproar but at this point its a nice way to occupy myself while im homr sick :
Posted by bripratt2[/QUOTE]
I'm pretty sure nobody called you either ryde or folish.

jenferian · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:367e70cf-aa23-43c2-9ee7-d80272016976">Re: i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all paragraphs are your friend. Second, there are two "types" or "ideas" of what a wedding are: Legal or religious. You either do a church wedding that involves a legal signing of a marriage license, or you do a non-religious ceremony that involves signing a marriage license. JOP wedding is one example of a non-religious ceremony. There is also the religious ceremony of commitment without the legal portion, but it would not be recognized by governing bodies. As a response to your post, I will tell you about my only experience with this subject. My cousin and his wife got married at the JOP so that she could have in-state tuition for college. About ten months later, they had a ceremony in a church followed by a full reception. I have no idea if all the guests knew they were already married or not, but I know my family knew. It felt like a fraud to me and I hated that everyone kept calling it a "wedding". It was a huge party complete with a "first dance" and other activities that should not have happened. It should be noted that this happened a few years ago, and I was not even looking at anything wedding related, let alone websites like TK. Another issue is the gift issue. My parents sent my cousin a check for his wedding. Their actual JOP wedding. Then when this other "wedding" showed up, my mom didn't know what to do. She felt bad because she already gave something, but didn't want to show up empty handed. Guess what? She ended up getting a physical gift. I told her not too, but she did anyway. That to me is the definition of gift grabby! So yes, people will yell at you for doing a Pretty Princess Day. Even if you have a "good" excuse. The point is, there are alternatives. You can have a large or small celebration that is not a reception and that doesn't involve a ceremony. After all, the point of a reception is to celebrate your new marriage with those closest to you, so a non-reception party would satisfy that. There really is no reason to re-do your ceremony in front of a lot of people either. It doesn't make it any more valid. My grandparents did it on their 50th wedding anniversary, but they called it a vow renewal, because that is what it was. They also danced alone together, but it was not called a first dance. That is where the similarities between a wedding reception and a renewal ended. No cake cutting; no bouquet toss. And an even simpler affair was my aunt and uncle's 25th anniversary. They also did a vow renewal followed by a hosted lunch at a restaurant. Then everyone went home. They still got to enjoy the company of those closest to them, but they didn't do wedding stuff. I know I just wrote a book, but I want to add this. Calling it a wedding is telling a lie. That is probably why you get bad reactions. People don't like it when others lie. Even if you are just lying "casually".
Posted by GardenMaven[/QUOTE]

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Genocide, fiscal cliff, war, famine, disease, suffering...and <em>this</em> is what you become passionately upset over?

Wow.

I'm sorry your life is so rough, <em>Princess</em>.

jenferian · December 2012

Man, I was so excited to start planning my wedding. Joining theknot.com and meeting other brides-to-be and share ideas...

A lot of the ladies on here are just mean.

Ironic that on a board about etiquette, I've witnessed very few of you acting like ladies.

Good luck to all of you in wedding planning. Me? I found a man I love who wants to commit his entire being to sharing a life with me and I'm blessed with friends and family who want to share in a very special day with us. And you know what? You ladies have, too. And what do you do in nearly EVERY SINGLE post on here?

Act like ugly mean trash.

Smile. Be happy. Breathe. How about a little kindness?

Good luck.

NYCMercedes · December 2012

Ugly mean trash? Do you think maybe that some people's ideas are just bad?

vsgal · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:4d0f1f50-0b27-4104-8c06-655f39fc15ea">Re: i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]Man, I was so excited to start planning my wedding. Joining theknot.com and meeting other brides-to-be and share ideas... A lot of the ladies on here are just mean . Ironic that on a board about etiquette , I've witnessed very few of you acting like ladies . Good luck to all of you in wedding planning. Me? I found a man I love who wants to commit his entire being to sharing a life with me and I'm blessed with friends and family who want to share in a very special day with us. And you know what? You ladies have, too. And what do you do in nearly EVERY SINGLE post on here? Act like ugly mean trash. Smile. Be happy. Breathe. How about a little kindness? Good luck.
Posted by jenferian[/QUOTE]

Yeah, calling people names will not make you any friends here.

vsgal · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:fbc240aa-b57c-4995-aee3-f450fa15332e">Re: i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people... : Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Genocide, fiscal cliff, war, famine, disease, suffering...and this is what you become passionately upset over? Wow. I'm sorry your life is so rough, Princess .
Posted by jenferian[/QUOTE]

Did you take a wrong turn? This is a wedding forum, not NATO.

MeredithAH · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:b08389a9-e636-42c2-b8ec-c37bd12a9cad">Re: i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]Emily Post is no longer a reliable source for etiquette issues. Ms. Post is deceased, and her estate is now run by the "Emily Post Foundation." The Foundation has industry ties, and now endorses behavior that the grande dame would deplore. I'm sure that she's standing on her head in her grave. Avoid Sharon Naylor as well. She was a romance writer until she discovered the world of wedding planning, and churns out "manuals" several times a year. She suggests that brides gift her "bridesmaid handbook" to their wedding parties.....and includes a wide range of "duties" for wedding parties that includes waiting on guests at the reception, directing traffic to restrooms, etc. She's a complete incompetent. Stick to Amy Vanderbilt and Miss Manners (aka Judith Martin).
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Interesting, I've never heard that. I've always thought EPI was culturally synonymous with etiquette and the gold standard, though I have noticed the EPI rules tend to be more liberal.

I do enjoy Miss Manners, I would have never thought an etiquette column would make me laugh out loud.

Fancypantsamy · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:4c7cc58e-5429-4dea-aa46-56f45efcc35f">Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]No see you guys are just mean I started out really nice and <strong>tried to be really democratic</strong> about the whole thing I don't think its wrong to think its not a good idea to have the whole double ceremony in fact i simply didnt know that anyone felt that way before yesterday but I think what everyones been doing is bullying. There's a nice way to do it instead of callibg soneone ryde and folish right off the bat. I really didn't think anything I said was cause for such uproar but at this point its a nice way to occupy myself while im homr sick :
Posted by bripratt2[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Huh? Democratic? </div>
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/2/8b552e9d-bdf7-4c49-926c-930279ae3385.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/2/8b552e9d-bdf7-4c49-926c-930279ae3385.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
<div>
</div><div>Sums up what I think of that. You can't ask people's opinion, disagree with the majority and yell at everyone else to change. That's not democratic.</div>

bripratt2 · December 2012

But see this is where you havr me completely wrong I never yelled at everyone for disagreeing with me then try to make them take.my side at all. I thought I made that clear but me sating you're being mean when you are. In fact being mean, has been takrm ad no you're totally wrong because you don't have the same opinion as me. One woman said "hey insert source here is a wonderful place to find information on etiquette" she didn't need to call mr names or act all condecending and whay not to get her point across

bripratt2 · December 2012

I ahree with her stance on the issue buyt not so much on her delivery. But this is the problem I got called names but as soon as the people on this side of yhe fence start calling names its un called for. I think we should do away with the name calling all together really...

bripratt2 · December 2012

Im sorry idk how to spell would you you care to enlighten me?

bripratt2 · December 2012

Well them I giess tgis wikk gave to do

Viczaesar · December 2012

You're not mature enough to get married, OP.

bripratt2 · December 2012

Well then its probably a Good thing that neither of us gets to decide who gets to get married and who doesn't because I think most of what has been said to me has been childish really. But that's just me.

GardenMaven · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:fbc240aa-b57c-4995-aee3-f450fa15332e">Re: i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people... : Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Genocide, fiscal cliff, war, famine, disease, suffering...and this is what you become passionately upset over? Wow. I'm sorry your life is so rough, Princess .
Posted by jenferian[/QUOTE]

<div>I have no idea what you are talking about. And you haven't seen me upset.</div>

Sharpschruter22 · December 2012

When I joined, I thought the same thing, Bri, but you know what? It's not that everyone is mean and being awful to you, it's that you are offended that no one here agrees with your plan and you arguing about it only further brings out your offense. Folks here don't sugar coat their answers, we give direct and to the point advice and tell you why your ideas are uncouth. If you want people to blow smoke up your butt, head on over to weddingbee and knock yourself out. That's not going to happen here. The far majority of ladies on this board are giving you the advice you asked for. You can't control any added info they choose to share. You disagreeing doesn't make their advice any less correct. We have nothing invested in you because we don't know you, but I implore you to follow the advice you were given. This is an etiquette forum! We are trying to help you not look like a butt to your friends and fam. You may think that your friends and fam won't be offended by your actions, but I promise many will they just won't say it to your face.

KellyBrian2013 · December 2012

I find it really funny watching how bad the grammar/spelling is getting. Seriously, you don't know how to spell "will"? Obvious troll is obvious.

KellyBrian2013 · December 2012

In Response to Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...:[QUOTE]Well them I giess tgis wikk gave to do Posted by bripratt2[/QUOTE]

I mean, really. Try harder next time. Misspelling "guess", "this", "will" and "have" all right in a row when you began the thread largely coherent? And have spelled much more advanced words correctly?

zantster · December 2012

Perhaps it may seem like a matter of semantics to you bripratt2. Like what's the difference in what you call it right? But if the word "wedding" did not have a hallowed place of significance in our society and indeed with you personally, I would think you would not have a problem with calling it a "celebration" or something else. But if we are honest with ourselves, we know that "wedding" has a very special meaning that symbolizes when the marriage actually begins. Guests who are present at a JOP, church, park, country club or whatever, actually get to witness the very first moments of the couple together as they transition from being single to being united as one in marriage. Instead, with what you are planning, guests will not be witnessing the first time that you become wedded to each other in marriage. They will be witnessing a re-enactment of your wedding vows except a lot more detail will be added that was not included originally. Sometimes regretting a decision or a passionate desire to experience something you always dreamed of can lead us to wish we could relive certain moments in our lives. But regardless of how extravagant you may make this and no matter what you call it, it will always be no more than a redesigned re-enactment. It may have religious significance or something else, but it is not the joining of two people in marriage. As long as you are comfortable and happy with these facts then go forth and have the day that you want. But redefining or attempting to expand what is included in the dictionary for the word "wedding" is an exercise in futility. I truly believe that you will enjoy your day much more if you embrace it for what it is instead of what you wished it could have been if you had more money or a time machine.

LiLe422 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:d812eaab-7dc7-4eb7-8af0-443326af438c">Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people... : <strong>Huh? Democratic?</strong> Sums up what I think of that. You can't ask people's opinion, disagree with the majority and yell at everyone else to change. That's not democratic.
Posted by Fancypantsamy[/QUOTE]

I think she meant diplomatic, maybe??

Fancypantsamy · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:f2acaa58-655c-4e5e-8ac6-b6ee2df06843">Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people... : I think she meant diplomatic, maybe??
Posted by LiLe422[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Yeah, except she's proven she's a total moron, so I'm not willing to give her the benifit of the doubt that I'd give another poster. And I love Inigo Montoya.</div>

Fancypantsamy · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-we-need-to-ease-up-on-the-jopceremony-later-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8b8e38d-80b2-48ee-a36a-d9bc3cf537c2Post:aaa2fb56-dca1-4aa2-8180-36cd1bec42f0">Re:i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...</a>:
[QUOTE]But see this is where you havr me completely wrong I never yelled at everyone for disagreeing with me then try to make them take.my side at all. I thought I made that clear but me sating you're being mean when you are. In fact being mean, has been takrm ad no you're totally wrong because you don't have the same opinion as me. One woman said "hey insert source here is a wonderful place to find information on etiquette" she didn't need to call mr names or act all condecending and whay not to get her point across
Posted by bripratt2[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Are you drunk? I have no idea what you're saying at this point. Sorry we got your pullups in a twist, try weddingbee? Read what SharpSchruter just posted and really internalize it - she's not being mean, she's giving you sound advice. </div>

mjeffcoats · December 2012

bripratt2...i too questioned the hostile manner in which many on here respond to these situations. if you post on an "etiquette" board i guess you have to expect dissent.

I say go for it, if your family and friends are supportive. I was married at jop 25 years ago and would have done what you are planning had my family been supportive. If you do as you wish you will save yourself the regret I have felt over the years. I made the choice to wait until our 25th anniversary and then have a banging 25th anniversary with vow renewal (have refered to it over the years as "when I have my wedding"). I nearly died of a brain anuerysm 5 years ago which has changed my perspective on many things including not living (or dying) with regret.

i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...

Re: i think we need to ease up on the jop/ceremony later people...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards