Dad walking me down the Isle?

Gismo123 · October 2010

At first I wasn't going to walk down the Isle with my dad we didn't have the best relationship but I decided to go ahead with it because I wanted the full experience. The only problem now is that back in June my dad had to have half his food cut off due to diabieties problems. He's still in rehab learning how to walk again with half his foot gone (easier said than done). Also he's on Dialosis 3 times a week...he has bad kidneys. Long story short he's in a wheelchair and it's very unlikely he's going to be able to walk me down the isle, hopefully he'll be able to attend the wedding. Everyone on my mom's side of the family (Men wise) have offered to walk me down the isle but how do I have this conversation with my dad without hurting his feelings? I've been putting the convo off because I don't know how to approach it

[Deleted User] · October 2010

First of all, it is an aisle that you will walk down.

Second, I don't think you should un-ask your Dad due to his health issues. IMO, this tells him that he is not good enough to walk you down the aisle bc he has had surgery due to his health. You should have not felt obligated to have him walk you down the aisle just bc he is your Dad. There are plenty of brides that have walked alone, with their husband - to - be, or with a step Dad or FFIL, Uncle, etc. That being said, I think it is too late now and you should not un-ask him to walk you down the aisle unless he comes to you and says he no longer can do it.

There have been brides who have went down the aisle in a wheelchair, and I think your Dad could very well do the same with you by his side. (If you go this route, make sure you talk to your venue to set up the necessary accomodations if needed).

Third, I see that your wedding is in Jan 2011. While that is close, I would definitely wait until it gets closer as physical therapy may be able to work wonders in the time between now and your wedding. He just may be up and walking by your wedding.

Manwaithiel · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dad-walking-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:2bff66a9-fd3d-4870-a1e7-1ea449903384Post:9056c26e-ff8d-448c-b6f8-e0b3c8b11425">Re: Dad walking me down the Isle?</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all, it is an aisle that you will walk down. Second, I don't think you should un-ask your Dad due to his health issues. IMO, this tells him that he is not good enough to walk you down the aisle bc he has had surgery due to his health. You should have not felt obligated to have him walk you down the aisle just bc he is your Dad. There are plenty of brides that have walked alone, with their husband - to - be, or with a step Dad or FFIL, Uncle, etc. That being said, I think it is too late now and you should not un-ask him to walk you down the aisle unless he comes to you and says he no longer can do it. There have been brides who have went down the aisle in a wheelchair, and I think your Dad could very well do the same with you by his side. (If you go this route, make sure you talk to your venue to set up the necessary accomodations if needed). Third, I see that your wedding is in Jan 2011. While that is close, I would definitely wait until it gets closer as physical therapy may be able to work wonders in the time between now and your wedding. He just may be up and walking by your wedding.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

Agreed

MairePoppy · October 2010

Ditto Missy Sue.
Another point: the idea of walking you down the aisle might provide extra motivation for your father's rehabilitation.
Since this is a decision that can be made at the last moment, just wait and see what happens.

Gismo123 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dad-walking-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:2bff66a9-fd3d-4870-a1e7-1ea449903384Post:9056c26e-ff8d-448c-b6f8-e0b3c8b11425">Re: Dad walking me down the Isle?</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all, it is an aisle that you will walk down. Second, I don't think you should un-ask your Dad due to his health issues. IMO, this tells him that he is not good enough to walk you down the aisle bc he has had surgery due to his health. You should have not felt obligated to have him walk you down the aisle just bc he is your Dad. There are plenty of brides that have walked alone, with their husband - to - be, or with a step Dad or FFIL, Uncle, etc. That being said, I think it is too late now and you should not un-ask him to walk you down the aisle unless he comes to you and says he no longer can do it. There have been brides who have went down the aisle in a wheelchair, and I think your Dad could very well do the same with you by his side. (If you go this route, make sure you talk to your venue to set up the necessary accomodations if needed). Third, I see that your wedding is in Jan 2011. While that is close, I would definitely wait until it gets closer as physical therapy may be able to work wonders in the time between now and your wedding. He just may be up and walking by your wedding.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

I don't want to wait till the last min. though......if I ask one of my Uncles to do it they will have to rent a tux and I don't want they scrambbling around at the last min.

Manwaithiel · October 2010

Honestly, and I'm not sure how other people feel about this, but I think asking your dad to walk you down the aisle is an honored position like BMs, MOHs, etc.

And you don't replace people that you've asked to do these things, no matter the circumstances.

I think that if your dad ends up not being able to do it, you walk down the aisle by yourself. Does it really matter to you if someone walks you down the aisle? Are you just doing this because brides are normally escorted by someone? Or are you doing it because you really want your dad to do it.

I think it's an honored position like any other and asking other people to fill in is the equivalent of telling someone that they're replacable.

MairePoppy · October 2010

Gismo- the person walking you down the aisle doesn't have to wear a tux. He could wear a suit, or whatever he would normally wear to your wedding. It will look fine.

swissarmymelody · October 2010

You can always rent a tux a up to a couple weeks before the wedding.

Gismo123 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dad-walking-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:2bff66a9-fd3d-4870-a1e7-1ea449903384Post:b74dc1dd-a7a4-4647-b726-d9c93b4fd475">Re: Dad walking me down the Isle?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, and I'm not sure how other people feel about this, but I think asking your dad to walk you down the aisle is an honored position like BMs, MOHs, etc. And you don't replace people that you've asked to do these things, no matter the circumstances. I think that if your dad ends up not being able to do it, you walk down the aisle by yourself. Does it really matter to you if someone walks you down the aisle? Are you just doing this because brides are normally escorted by someone? Or are you doing it because you really want your dad to do it. I think it's an honored position like any other and asking other people to fill in is the equivalent of telling someone that they're replacable.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

I 100% agree with you on walking down alone and I actually had decided on that when I found out my dad might not be able to recover in time, but my mom's family got upset at that and made a huge deal so I'm just trying to keep the peace in the family otherwise I have no problem walking down alone.

mistydawn123 · November 2010

My dad is disabled and I am having my "mom" from church walk me to him. He can then stand and give me away. I know there is no way he could walk that far, but even he loved the idea.

Dad walking me down the Isle?

Re: Dad walking me down the Isle?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards