time filling ideas for cocktail hour

country_girl0118 · February 2010

so we're doing a tapas style reception dinner. tapas is a spanish style of food/eating where everything is small and shared (like appetizers). at any rate, i don't want to serve appetizers because it's obviously very repetitive. so i'm trying to come up with some entertainment ideas so that while guests have their drinks they have something to enjoy. I'd like it to be sophisticated.

So far I've come up with the following ideas:
1) cigar roller
2) magician (not a crappy magician a good one)
3) slide show of pictures of myself and my fiance (i know that's kind of cheesy)

does anyone else have any ideas? what do you think of the ideas I came up with? if you were a guest what would you think? thanks!

mbcdefg · February 2010

Give them food. That's the point of a cocktail hour ... to let them eat something and have some drinks while you are off taking photos. They're not going to give two craps about pictures or a magician or cigars if they're standing there with nothing to eat.

They won't care if it's repetitive ... they just want some appetizers. Talk to your caterer about a different way to prepare or present them if you must, but otherwise don't worry about it. As long as the food is tasty, nobody in their right mind would say, "Ugh, MORE tapas?"

tenofcups4me · February 2010

With that kind of reception, I think a cocktail hour is silly. Why not just go right into the reception without the cocktail hour? Or if you think you have to have the cocktail hour, start out with lighter hors d'ouevres and then move to the heavier as the meal portion.

trix1223 · February 2010

I think you treat your guests like the adults they are. They know how to conduct themselves in social gatherings. They know how to get a drink and mingle. When I go to a wedding, it's a chance to see family members that I haven't seen in some time. It's a chance to catch up with people and chat.

As soon as you put a "show" like a magician or slide show, you've changed your cocktail from an active events for your guests to a passive (be quiet and watch) event.

If you have good drinks and good food, you don't need anything more. Please don't turn your reception into a carnival or a kids' b'day party.

trix1223 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_time-filling-ideas-cocktail-hour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:621899f1-cd98-4bdc-ae59-7be390d38bcdPost:2a53818b-a824-41a8-9b7c-3ba0e8b96fb5">Re: time filling ideas for cocktail hour</a>:
[QUOTE]With that kind of reception, I think a cocktail hour is silly. Why not just go right into the reception without the cocktail hour? Or if you think you have to have the cocktail hour, start out with lighter hors d'ouevres and then move to the heavier as the meal portion.
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

^^ This is good advice as well.

kgirlie · February 2010

I am having the same style reception, but I am still having a "cocktail hour" with passed smaller app, a raw bar, and cheese table. And then once the reception starts it will be the passed larger tapas style and pasta station. I was having a hard time figuring it out too!

I <3 Seabass · February 2010

I would skip the activities and just let guest mingle. If you're going to be serving alcohol during the CH you should provide at least some food at the CH like cheeses or fruit display, something light. I don't think that would be repetitive with the tapas following.

aerinpegadrak · February 2010

We're just starting the reception immediately after the ceremony while we wrap up the formal shots. We thought about doing some lighter snacks, but the logistics were too difficult to work out, so we're just opening the apps buffet as soon as we're clear of the aisle.

I don't think you need to offer entertainment, people are there to eat and mingle. If you don't want to go straight into the tapas, you can give them something light like a cheese spread or some veggie platters to munch on, since it's not good to give people alcohol without some sort of food.

country_girl0118 · February 2010

I think I should explain a bit more...

My family absolutely hates each other and my fiance's family is Puerto Rican and most of them do not speak english. And I really mean that my family hates each other - like violently hates each other. To save the long story I'm close with both sides so it's not like I can disinvite one side or the other. So I do kind of want them to be a little distracted. And I still want to do a cocktail hour so that we can do our photos, as I don't want my fiance seeing my dress until after the ceremony.

I might serve some small foods during the cocktail hour. You all have made a good point about that. But I still think there needs to be something else going on. Like I said I want it to be sophisticated. I like the idea of the cigar rollers the most because a lot of the men in my family smoke, and it is entertaining to see how they make them.

So food aside, does anybody have any other entertainment-like ideas? Other than what I came up with? Thank you all for the advice so far though.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

I really like the idea of a cigar roller. I don't know much about PR culture, but the one time I was in San Juan, it was sort of a thing to do. It would be really cool if it's something that your guests like to do, especially if there are different types of tobacco (? totally guessing here?) that they can smell or whatever.

I'd also do passed apps. It's different enough from the tapas that it wouldn't seem like the same food just keeps coming, but it would be enough that people aren't starving if the get there hungry. I'd also add passed drinks or more than one bar around the room so that guests that want to avoid each other aren't forced to all be at the bar at once.

Personally, I'm not a fan of magicians. I find them sort of campy, even the good ones. If you want to do a slide show, you could put it off on a small screen to the side, so that people that want to go see it would. That would also help to sort of divide the room into sections, so that your family that wants to avoid each other would sort of have places to go.

Lasairiona · February 2010

You have to feed them something. No bartender will allow you to serve alcohol without food at the same time because your guests will be drunk and sick immediately otherwise.

Allow your guests to mingle. Adults do know how to entertain themselves and don't need or want other entertainment during the cocktail hour.

country_girl0118 · February 2010

i don't see why entertainment is such a crazy idea. i've seen it done at other weddings. i'm just trying to find original ideas. LIKE I SAID IN MY LAST POST - i concede to making sure there is some kind of different food at the cocktail hour, but i still want to have something else going on...

lwogsland · February 2010

Cigar rollers would be great..if that's what people in your family are into

I wouldn't do the magician though. You could always set up some picture displays of both of you growing up...set up something at the tables where people write on recipe cards of something a bit of advice for your marriage..could put cards, games on the center of the tables.

Liz4444 · February 2010

i agree with the other posters, you do need some food at the cocktail hour... maybe cheeses, veggies, etc...

and i like the idea of a cigar roller or maybe you could do a rum or tequilla tasting.

i have seen on "platinum weddings", "rich bride, poor bride", etc where people have entertainment... personally, i think that kind of thing belongs more at a birthday party, not a wedding. also, make sure there is music at the cocktail hour. people will mingle with the people they like and hopefully avoid the ones they don't.

country_girl0118 · February 2010

oh i like the advice table idea... and you just gave me another great idea, my family loves poker, i could set up tables! Thank you lwogsland, you're the first person to help me think of alternative ideas to what I had!

country_girl0118 · February 2010

i actually just figured out the problem with this message...

People, from now on I do not want opinions. I know I orignially asked what you would think if you were a guest at my wedding but hindsight being 20/20 I realize that was my mistake. So from now on, I only want to know if you have ideas for entertainment during the cocktail hour besides the food. Thank you.

country_girl0118 · February 2010

Liz4444 thank you that's another great idea, I didn't think of a rum or tequila tasting, I'm writing that one down also.

aerinpegadrak · February 2010

...Yeah, the internet doesn't work that way, and throwing a fit that you're not getting what you want to hear just makes you childish. Nice try, though.

emilyinchile · February 2010

Haha, great answer Aerin.

OP, welcome to TK. Sometimes advice comes as a direct answer to your question - like "oh, do these tables" - and sometimes it comes in another form - like hey, before you get all excited about a magician and a face painter and a trapeeze artist, you should make sure there's some food to eat or your guests will be angry, drunk and bored. If people think your idea is bad, they'll tell you. That's the advantage of putting things here rather than asking your friends - your friends will say "oh how cute" and then secretly judge you for bad ideas, whereas we don't know you and will be objective and tell you the truth. It's not mean, it's just an objective opinion. If you don't agree with that, it's fine, but it doesn't mean that the internet is ganging up on you.

banana468 · February 2010

What about preparing the food in unique ways? Some food IS entertainment.

If you're cool with fusion cuisine, have someone making sushi, cooking ANYTHING over a flame or a huge spread of stuff.

You also could have live musicians - not MAGicians who can also be entertaining.

But PPs are right - you NEED food.

The other thiing - I don't get how your family HATES each other. Aren't there a few people who will talk to each other? They'll want to converse rather than feel like they're at a show.

trix1223 · February 2010

Yeah, OP here's the thing. You put a question out on a public message board, you're going to get opinions. You don't get to say "Please only give me opinions and answers that I'll like". As I tell my preschoolers, "You get what you get and you don't get upset."

And this particular board is very, very honest. We'll tell you what your friends are thinking but won't say out loud because they don't want your feeling to get hurt. We have no vested interest in your feelings, so we'll be more honest than your friends and family might be.

You don't have to like it, but if you don't want to hear it, don't post. I might suggest that you try posting on a local board instead of international ones like this. Locals tend to be "fluffier" and more, as many describe it "Puppies and rainbows." That seems like it might suit your sensibilities better.

FWIW: If your family HATES each other, then I think putting them all in a room with liquor and NO food to mitigate the effects of the alcohol is a recipe for disaster. And a magician won't change that~I don't care how good his magic is.

country_girl0118 · February 2010

again, thanks for the advice people, even the unwanted advice. i got your hint about the magician and the food... as i said before the magician was not my favorite idea... i've got some other great ideas now, thanks to the people who help me came up with a few. the ideas i'm going with now are one of the following

1) cigar roller
2) set up poker tables
3) alcohol tasting
4) setting up a book or cards where people can write marital advice
5) some kind of food/show thing, maybe sushi or something else.
6) serve a specialty cocktail and run it through an ice luge.

although i have to say, i am disturbed at how a lot of you posters act like you are so high and mighty. for the most part, many of you didn't even help come up with any ideas, you just acted nasty. you're not walking in my shoes and you don't know how my family is. i feel that there has to be something else to be a distraction, and i came here asking for creativity, not your negativity. even if you feel negativly about how i want to do this, as others have said it's my wedding and i'll set it up how i like. there was something my mother taught me that i think everyone should follow; if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. that's regardless of whether your on an online forum or you know someone in person....

maybe it was how you all were raised, i really don't know.

either way if you think i'm whiny, preachy, B****y, it doesn't matter, you don't know me and i'm quite happy to say i don't know a lot of you in real life. if i did i'd be really embarassed by your attitudes.

again thank you so much to all the folks who helped me come up with ideas, you've been great! take care and to all God Bless.

trix1223 · February 2010

From you OP:
what do you think of the ideas I came up with? if you were a guest what would you think? thanks!

Were those rhetorical questions? Or did you just want validation?

JHS16 · February 2010

I would set up something in video form for them to watch, so no one is expected to talk to each other, if that's what you're going for. That way it won't be awkward. Maybe you could find a short movie or cute romantic film, though I can't think of any that run less than an hour off the top of my head. If you like disney or something, you could play some cute old cartoons back to back where they are courting each other so it goes with a wedding theme.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

You could have some of those guys that hammer nails into their noses walking around for shiits and giggles. Or how about a Wild West style gun fight? Jello wrestling?

homediva · February 2010

Here are some ideas>

-Either rent a photo booth or have a corner set up with props and a fun background for a photo booth feel

-Have some different drink stations; ie. a martini bar, a mojito bar - maybe even some display bartending where they set the drinks on fire etc.

-Live music if you can afford it, it would be neat to have a singer who walks through the crowd singing

-I would do some food that is quite different from what you'll be serving for tapas, maybe an oyster bar and gazpacho shooters or some sort of interactive chef stations

The cigar rolling booth is good! What about a mime?

Hope this helps!!!

kolbip · February 2010

I love all the ideas I'm getting on this board!!

While I agree that most wedding receptions shouldn't be turned into a "circus" or "birthday party", I am striving to do something different than the norm at my reception. My wedding and reception are casual, as this is my second marriage, so I want to do things out of the ordinary.

My fiance and I are focusing on our "favorite" things and making sure that the guests have a great time. The idea of a rum or tequila tasting sounds neat. I was thinking of doing a Make Your Own Martini station with different flavors and mixers so people could experiment.

We are also toying with doing a Trivia Game - my boyfriend loves trivia. We may do general topics like Sports and Movies/TV, but we will probably also do a trivia about the two of us and what our favorite things are.

As it is an outdoor and casual wedding we are thinking of doing some volleyball and boche (sp?) ball. We will also do the normal things such as dancing and eating.

Hope this helps . . . .

trix1223 · February 2010

bocce ball-great game. My DD and her bf play in a league in DC. Her bf says it's the only sport you can play with a beer in your hand.

nosaj · February 2010

How about a wine/cheese tasting or chocolate tasting. I went to an event and they had a local chocolate company pairing wine and chocalate. It was fun and different.

Blueyed228 · February 2010

OP- I guess it depends on how formal you want it to be. Some of the ideas are awesome for a more laid back reception.

I like the photobooth idea. I have even seen people do a create your own photo space. They set up a backdrop and had funny props and hats people could wear. You could have cameras there for people to use so you get copies of the pics. And they also can use their own cameras too.

I like the bocce ball idea too if that is something your guests would enjoy.

Definatly make sure you have enough food for everyone. Nothing sets people off more than being hungry.

lyndausvi · February 2010

Photobooths, cigar rollers, etc are all fun ideas, but really how much time will they actually fill? 5-10 minutes max?? Then people are going to go back doing what most people do during cocktail hours. Eat, drink and mingle.

Do not get me wrong, it's not that I do not think you should't have something. I'm just saying you might be over thinking how much of a time filler these 'activites' are.

Most people enjoy just socialize with THEIR family and friends. While I met new people from time to time at weddings, more often than not I'm just with the people I know. Me speaking or not speaking the language or me liking or not liking some people do not change that.

time filling ideas for cocktail hour

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