small ceremony - big reception?

cindyn9178 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_small-ceremony-big-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f1e7548-cd9f-442f-b7dc-c6ccb6b3914dPost:e972c1a1-690e-4ba8-9ba8-45b09a0e292e">Re: small ceremony - big reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]The point of a reception is to celebrate your marriage . In my opinion, all this "It's to thank people for coming" garbage is just that - garbage. You want a tiny ceremony? HAVE a tiny ceremony. You want a massive reception? HAVE a massive reception! If people are gonna get all "Nyaaaaa!" about it, don't invite them at all. You are celebrating the union of you and the love of your life - keep it that way :D Enjoy yourself, girl!
Posted by LadySkylark[/QUOTE]

One post? Are you the OP with a new name trying to defend yourself?
You are incorrect. The purpose of the reception is to thank the people who attended the ceremony. Basically, an "after-party" for the guests of the ceremony.
It is rude to invite people to the reception that weren't invited to the ceremony, regardless of the size of each guest list. It doesn't matter if you had a JOP wedding, or a beach wedding with 10 people. The only people invited to the reception should be those that were invited to the ceremony. It doesn't matter if the reception is the same day, or the next day either, the same rule applies.
If I received an invite to a reception for a ceremony I was not invited to, it would look gift grabby to me, and I'd be offended I wasn't invited to the ceremony, and I would NOT attend that reception. If I wasn't goood enough/close enough to them to attend their ceremony, why am I good enough to attend their reception and give them a gift?

Ohheydesiree · January 2013

This is exactly what I am wanting to do!!! I think my family is very supportive of my decision to do this!! Any friends/family that disapprove need not to be invited then! Only positive thoughts should be expressed on your wedding day!!!!

traymilburn · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_small-ceremony-big-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f1e7548-cd9f-442f-b7dc-c6ccb6b3914dPost:358776f4-6a6f-45b1-8dff-8f57e93bf3e9">small ceremony - big reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm having a tough time here and wondering what other women think about my dilemma! i've always wanted a small and intimate wedding on the beach at sunset; just a few members of my family and of course my fiance's family, too. however, i've also always wanted a huge backyard BBQ type reception. beings i'm getting married at sunset, i'm going to have the reception the next day. i'm reading all types of posts on google etc that say its incredibly rude to invite people to a reception without inviting them to the ceremony and now i'm starting to get upset over this. i don't want to feel like i'm snuffing people because of what i want on my special day! also, how in the world would i even attempt to word the invitations i'd be sending to those only invited to the reception?? someone, anyone, please help me!
Posted by peacelove85[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Dear Small/Big,</div><div>
</div><div>I'd like to chime in on those matter and for those who think my opinion is less than perfect, I really don't care and YES IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU!!! This is your day and YES IT'S YOUR WAY! </div><div>
</div><div>I've been on the end of the reception invitation many times versus invitation to a wedding and frankly... I'm glad I dodged the bullet both times! I hate weddings and find them to be both boring and stupid when I know both families can't afford what was just shelled out for the big ceremony. </div><div>
</div><div>A very small piece of advise, do what you feel is right in your heart. If you have family and friends who really know you and realize you have always wanted something small, they will truly understand and will certainly love to come to the Celebration Party afterwards. </div><div>
</div><div>Who cares if it's the day of, the day after, or six months down the road. It's not a reception, it's a CELEBRATION PARTY, celebrating your union. If anyone asks why they weren't invited to the wedding, you simply tell them it was kept within your budget and so you could throw a huge party! Your choice... but please don't get too upset over this, remember it's a party to celebrate your marriage - not a thank you for coming to a wedding! </div><div>
</div><div>True, receptions are full of free food and drink to thank the guests for coming but that's an old fashioned way of thinking and not acceptable in today's fashion and etiquette circles. Now days, most couples are opting to go with celebration parties after small intimate weddings in order to keep prices down, invite more family and friends, and spend quality time together!</div><div>
</div><div>The reasons really don't matter... do what you feel is best for you, your soon to be spouse, and your wallet!</div>

small ceremony - big reception?

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