Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Registry and Gift Forum
Registry and Gift Forum
New Discussion
Options

Charity vs. Gifts

Arshne00Arshne00
First Comment First Anniversary
in Registry and Gift Forum
Hi All!

My fiance and I are in our 30's and have tons of household stuff. All our friends and family are coming in from out of town from all over the place and since we are asking so much of them , we really dont feel right asking for gifts. I know there will be those that want to give so we would like ot set up options to give to two of our favorite charities. Does anyone know how to do this or word it?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Charity vs. Gifts

  • Options
    Arshne00Arshne00
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Really?! We got the idea from one of those wedding shows and a whole slew of couples asked for donations towards a charity instead of gifts. I guess we are going to have to go back to the drawing board. Crap.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Hint: those wedding shows almost never follow good etiquette except by total accident.

    But I'm glad you took the advice so well. If you don't register, you will likely get mostly money. You can choose to privately donate from that, if you wish.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I have a coworker who didn't register with the same reasoning. They listed three charities on their wedding website. I would have loved to buy her a gift, but I respected her wishes and donated to a charity.
    Soon after her wedding she made the comment that they had received some checks from family members, and they couldn't decide what to buy betwen a few different household items. 
    It kind of rubbed me the wrong way, because if they really truly wanted no presents and everything to go to charity, then they should have donated ALL of their checks to one of their charities. 
    It feels to me kind of showy and elitist. I would have much preferred they register for a few items and then privately donated some of their cash gifts to their favorite charities.

    Just my personal experience and .
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    OP, why don't you just take any monetary gifts received (and you will likely get some money from your wedding) and quietly and privately donate it to the charities you care about.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mc4dj13mc4dj13 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    We are going to donate money that we would have spent on favors to a very special charity. A lot of our families already are responding to this and are asking to pitch in to the pot. I see nothing wrong with it, and it is should be open to whoever wants to donate. Everyone else can bring a physical gift.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    I would have no problem with it but I am not a traditional person.  I think it's pretty sweet and selfless.  Sometimes people (including guests) get so wrapped up in me,me,me they forget this world is more than just about them.  I would however, I like the idea of more than one charity (given say someone may not support a charity for many reasons) OR an option to just donate to the charity would be fine that way guests can choose to donate OR give a gift if they give you money just put it in the charity. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Weddings are not fundraisers.  If you want to raise money for a cause, throw a gala.
    ROCK IS KING!!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you want to donate to charity, then give of your own funds or the gifts you receive.  But don't ask others to donate on your behalf as a gift to you.  Let them decide for themselves what charities they support-if they support them.  It's really not up to you.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to Re:Charity vs. Gifts:
    [QUOTE]We are going to donate money that we would have spent on favors to a very special charity. A lot of our families already are responding to this and are asking to pitch in to the pot. I see nothing wrong with it, and it is should be open to whoever wants to donate. Everyone else can bring a physical gift.
    Posted by mc4dj13[/QUOTE]

    Which is fine, but don't publicize that you're donating money that you would have spent on someone else.  It doesn't make you look selfless or gracious.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards