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Mom to walk me down the Aisle when Dad is still present?

FutureMrsReynaFutureMrsReyna member
10 Comments Name Dropper
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Ok, before I go on, let me explain the dynamic.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was 13. Dad was always in our lives but just not the supportive, loving father. Not a dead beat by any means, just very emotionally detached. As an adult, our relationship has gotten better but still feel, er.. still know that his children and grandchildren come second to whom ever he is dating at the moment. Mom on the other hand raised us alone, supported us through every and any thing and has always been the glue keeping our family together. She has by far been the mother and father figure.

Now, I've expressed with my FI that I wanted my mother to walk me down the aisle because I feel she deserves it and I know she will be crushed if I went with the "norm" and had my dad walk me down.
I'm just struggling with how to talk to my dad about it. I think I'm more nervous that he wouldnt care, opposed to being upset that he isn't giving me away. I would like to assume that he would understand my reasoning for this decision...but I think I need a little encouragement and words of wisdom.

Is it "wrong" for me to snub tradition being that Dad is still in the picture?

Thanks knotties
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Re: Mom to walk me down the Aisle when Dad is still present?

  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I don't think it's wrong to go the non traditional route at all. I wouldn't bother mentioning it to your father unless he brings it up first.
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  • astro5gem26astro5gem26 member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    My mom will be walking me down the aisle. There is nothing wrong with it. My mom questions it because it is nontraditional but the point is she was the supportive parent that served as both parents. She deserves that honor!
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to Re: Mom to walk me down the Aisle when Dad is still present?:
    [QUOTE]So your Dad gets to walk you down the aisle because he has a penis?
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    This. Times, like, a bazillion. Possession of a penis doesn't automatically grant you the right to walk someone down the aisle, and possession of a vagina doesn't automatically disenfranchise you of that right. The idea of "walking down the aisle" and "giving the bride away" is that the parent who did the raising gets that honor. Clearly your father didn't, so why would he?

    I agree with other PPs. Just don't bring it up with him unless he brings it up first. Why borrow trouble?
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • allispainallispain member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Totally agree - have your mom walk you down the aisle. However, I agree less with the idea that you shouldn't let your dad know unless he brings it up. How awkward would it be for him to show up on the day of your wedding expecting to walk you down the aisle and find out there that he isn't? 

    I'm walking myself down the aisle - my childhood was not very fun due to family issues, my parents recently divorced, dad and I have never been close, and mom and I are slowly building a good relationship. When I let dad know I would be walking myself, he was really hurt - even though we hadn't spoken for almost a year prior to that conversation (and when we did it was a big argument), he still assumed that (as PPs have said), just because he has certain anatomical parts, he would be walking me down the aisle. I'm not sure if there's a right way to let him know that won't cause hurt feelings, but I knew that if I didn't say something, he'd be waiting outside the bridal suite with the expectation of walking me down the aisle.
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  • sarahroslanskysarahroslansky member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Certainly you should do whatever you please as far as who's walking you or whether you walk alone. Another choice might be for both of your parents to walk you down the aisle, you could do that if you want.
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  • FutureMrsReynaFutureMrsReyna member
    10 Comments Name Dropper
    @CMGr HAHA! OMG, that seriously made me laugh.
    Thanks ladies, for all your input. I'm pretty sure that my mom will be walking me down. I do feel that I will need to tell my dad eventually. I thin the closer it gets, he'll be more likely to ask about it (or maybe not) but I wouldn't want it to be a shocker to him come the day of and he finds out.....
    I agree with the PP's, he doesn't deserve the honor to walk me down. Not that I don't love him or respect him...but my Mother and I have a very strong bond and he should understand that, being that she raised me...not him.

    Thanks for all your words ladies, I very much appreciate it.
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