Yes, it's tacky. Asking for money, for ANY cause, at a wedding, is universally tacky.
I hope you're read the sticky post at the top of this thread and are aware of the contraversial nature of charitable donations as a favor. Personally, I'm not offended by them unless the charity is actually offensive to me (animal charities are not my thing but it wouldn't offend me to have money donated to one in my name/honor, whereas it would offend me if money were donated in my name/honor to a charity whose goals I actively disagree with). But I'm a guest at an upcoming wedding where the bride is doing this and while I kind of feel like a bad person for this, I am among a number of people who are totally making fun of the bride behind her back for it, because she's, like, talking about it EVERYWHERE and it looks unbearably holier-than-thou, as making a big public production of one's charitable work often does.
Me and my fiance have decided to do the whole donation in lieu of favours. We have 2 cats that we adopted from the local shelter and plan on using the money to sponsor a cat kennel at the shelter for an entire year (it takes care of food, litter, blankets, etc).
After telling my future mother in law about our idea, she really wants us to put a donation box at our guest book table.
Personally, I think this is kind of tacky and rude to ask people to give money at your wedding, but she doesn't think so.
Does anyone else think this is tacky? I'm all for supporting local charities but I just think the timing is really inappropriate.
It is tacky. And honestly, donations in lieu of favors is often seen as very tacky also. If you want to make a donation, please do that. And if you want to skip favors, that's fine too. But, making a donation to a charity instead of giving your guest a favor is often seen as AWish, and offensive to some guests.
I am a huge animal advocate. I support your idea to give money to that rescue, but doing it in lieu of favors is like saying "oh, I was going to give you a gift, but I gave it to someone else instead.". If you want to make the donation in lieu of a wedding item, don't have flowers, or something else that only affects you, not your guests.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
I'm sure nobody's coming just for the favor, but they also aren't coming to be told that you found something better to spend your money on. And they may well not agree with the cause.
It really isn't an act of kindness or altruism to announce that you're donating money in someone else's name to a cause they don't support. You don't have to give favors at all, but don't treat your guests like a captive audience for a charity shill.
I always find it really weird when brides storm off in a huff when everyone was perfectly nice to them but just disagreed with their idea. This thread wasn't even snarky at all.
How were you abused? Nobody is telling you not to donate in lieu of having favors; they are just telling you to do it silently and not TELL your guests you did that. Donate. Awesome. Just don't make a big deal of it by announcing it. It is far more charitable to donate and not want credit for having done so.
What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
We have 2 rescue cats and 1 formerly feral kitten we have tamed but I would never dream of asking for donations for a cat shelter. Wedding favors are gifts for the guests. They are optional. If you don't want to do them, that's fine but don't make people pay to attend your wedding.
Re: Done with this abuse.
Yes, it's tacky. Asking for money, for ANY cause, at a wedding, is universally tacky.
I hope you're read the sticky post at the top of this thread and are aware of the contraversial nature of charitable donations as a favor. Personally, I'm not offended by them unless the charity is actually offensive to me (animal charities are not my thing but it wouldn't offend me to have money donated to one in my name/honor, whereas it would offend me if money were donated in my name/honor to a charity whose goals I actively disagree with). But I'm a guest at an upcoming wedding where the bride is doing this and while I kind of feel like a bad person for this, I am among a number of people who are totally making fun of the bride behind her back for it, because she's, like, talking about it EVERYWHERE and it looks unbearably holier-than-thou, as making a big public production of one's charitable work often does.
It is tacky. And honestly, donations in lieu of favors is often seen as very tacky also. If you want to make a donation, please do that. And if you want to skip favors, that's fine too. But, making a donation to a charity instead of giving your guest a favor is often seen as AWish, and offensive to some guests.
I am a huge animal advocate. I support your idea to give money to that rescue, but doing it in lieu of favors is like saying "oh, I was going to give you a gift, but I gave it to someone else instead.". If you want to make the donation in lieu of a wedding item, don't have flowers, or something else that only affects you, not your guests.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
It really isn't an act of kindness or altruism to announce that you're donating money in someone else's name to a cause they don't support. You don't have to give favors at all, but don't treat your guests like a captive audience for a charity shill.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/