I was in a friend's wedding this summer. We grew up together, but I was somewhat surprised that she asked me to be in her wedding, since we're not super close anymore. I don't see us being particularly close in the future, since we've both changed quite a bit since high school and are heading down different paths in life, but I don't think that she feels the same way.
Meanwhile, my fiance was in a wedding this spring. While he and the groom are pretty good friends, due to numbers (my fiance has a lot of friends, while I have just a few close friends), we decided not to ask that friend to be in our wedding party.
Now that I'm realizing that having an uneven wedding party isn't a big deal, I think it would be great for this guy to be in our wedding. While it would be a huge wedding party, I wouldn't mind having 6 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen.
My concern is about my friend whose wedding I was in this summer. I feel like I owe her an explanation for why she's not in the wedding, and I was going to say it was because of size constraints. But if we have 7 groomsmen, that won't fly. It will be obvious that she's not in the wedding because I don't think that we're close, and clearly she doesn't think the same, since she asked me to be in her wedding.
I know based on other discussions that most of you would advise that I just pick whoever is closest to me, not worry about seeing the bridesmaid slots as positions to be filled, and tell me that wedding party decisions aren't tit for tat. But I am also conscious of the fact that this isn't just "my day" and that friendships can be damaged because of things like this, and I don't want to hurt her feelings.
So what would you guys do?