Hello friends!
My fiancé and I decided we do not want children at our wedding (this includes teenage cousins as well). I searched the message boards of every website imaginable and racked my brain for wording that wasn't offensive but was firm. We included a "note" on the back of our Save the Dates to give everyone fair warning, that way there will be no confusion when we send out the invites. We plan to include another note on the invite and we also plan to advise our guests that we've reserved "#" of seats for them. This will hopefully eliminate surprise children guests, and also any randoms. Our wedding is very small, 65 people with most as couples that are either married, dating long term, or engaged. We are also paying for it ourselves, so we're being very conscious of the spending (we have a home that we are renovating as well).
The feedback we received so far has been good, everyone with children seems to be happy at the prospect of a night out away from the kids so that's good. Here's the wording we used:
"Dear Guest(s), We respectfully wish to inform you that our special day is an adult-only event. We hope to see you on September 5, 2014! Thank you, Mark & Natalie"
Our ceremony and reception are in the same venue, in rooms side by side so we couldn't have it an adult-only reception, there's no downtime in between and most of our guests are traveling more than 10 minutes from home.
Don't fret too much about it, I did and wish I hadn't because the feedback has been awesome. I think you know how your guests are in general about this sort of stuff and you've probably gauged their potential reaction before even sending out the "notice"..and that one with the bad attitude you're really worried about? Wording isn't going to change the reaction and you know it. They're just that sort of person, so why worry about it when you know it can't be controlled? Be firm, be happy and be married
Best of luck xoxo
Nat