lets talk about prenuptual agreements

JaniV123 · January 2014

what are your thoughts on it? are you/did you get one? why or why not?

Me and FI have known from the beginning we were going to have one. My family has several corporations of which I will come into shares and I am in process to get my MD and thus may be sued in the future and we dont want to risk the other person or our kids so we will be starting the process soon.

just wanted to hear opinions

JCbride2015 · January 2014

Funny you ask this. I just watched the prenup episode of HIMYM last night-- you know where Barney tries to specify how much weight Quinn can gain/lose and the paper reaches halfway to the ceiling?

We are not having one. Nobody has any family money and there are no existing kids to provide for.

ETA: as a law student, I know prenups are not actually binding in the case of divorce, God forbid. The judge can still do what he/she wants, so it may not be the complete protection you think it is. Sure it helps because it shows what your intentions were at the time you started marriage, but you'll still need a good divorce attorney.

firebabe6519 · January 2014

We will not be doing one. FI is adamantly against them. He feels that it is just planning for your marriage to go awry. I have no need of one, but I can understand some situations where they could be good.

JaniV123 · January 2014

@JCBride2014 thanks, and I loved that HIMYM episode haha

It actually is not for divorce reasons, we have always shared equally and we dont make a big deal nor does my family, its mostly so his assets and our children'ss are not affected by the family business in case of any legal problems or if I get sued as a Dr.

PolarBearFitz · January 2014

This may be just me but we are not doing a prenup. I understand protecting yourself and your assets in the case of someone turning out to be different than you thought they were but it isn't for us.

If things are broken we are of the mindset to fix them. I understand that isn't always the case for everyone and sometimes things don't work out. We just aren't letting that be a mindset or a part of our life together. I just think it's letting divorce be an option and it is not an option for us.

and @JCBride2014 I love that episode and HIMYM

hilarious.

JCbride2015 · January 2014

JaniV123 said:

@JCBride2014 thanks, and I loved that HIMYM episode haha

It actually is not for divorce reasons, we have always shared equally and we dont make a big deal nor does my family, its mostly so his assets and our children'ss are not affected by the family business in case of any legal problems or if I get sued as a Dr.

Have you already talked to a lawyer about this? Legally the only thing I'm allowed to say to you is, go seek legal advice.

Cokezerofreak · January 2014

It didn't even come up for us. We are both broke asses.

PolarBearFitz · January 2014

JaniV123 said:

@JCBride2014 thanks, and I loved that HIMYM episode haha

It actually is not for divorce reasons, we have always shared equally and we dont make a big deal nor does my family, its mostly so his assets and our children'ss are not affected by the family business in case of any legal problems or if I get sued as a Dr.

Forgive me for my lack of legal knowledge on this but I thought prenups were to protect your assets from your spouse in the case of divorce. Does a prenup really protect your family's assets if you are sued for malpractice?

JCbride2015 · January 2014

PolarBearFitz said:

JaniV123 said:

@JCBride2014 thanks, and I loved that HIMYM episode haha

It actually is not for divorce reasons, we have always shared equally and we dont make a big deal nor does my family, its mostly so his assets and our children'ss are not affected by the family business in case of any legal problems or if I get sued as a Dr.

Forgive me for my lack of legal knowledge on this but I thought prenups were to protect your assets from your spouse in the case of divorce. Does a prenup really protect your family's assets if you are sued for malpractice?

^^ Hence why I'm not sure about this either.... OP talk to a lawyer! OP is in PR though, things may be totally different there. I've got no idea.

PolarBearFitz · January 2014

JCBride2014 said:

PolarBearFitz said:

JaniV123 said:

@JCBride2014 thanks, and I loved that HIMYM episode haha

It actually is not for divorce reasons, we have always shared equally and we dont make a big deal nor does my family, its mostly so his assets and our children'ss are not affected by the family business in case of any legal problems or if I get sued as a Dr.

Forgive me for my lack of legal knowledge on this but I thought prenups were to protect your assets from your spouse in the case of divorce. Does a prenup really protect your family's assets if you are sued for malpractice?

^^ Hence why I'm not sure about this either.... OP talk to a lawyer! OP is in PR though, things may be totally different there. I've got no idea.

I second what @JCBride2014 stated.

Speak to legal counsel if you feel this document is necessary for your marriage. I don't deem it necessary or allowed in my upcoming commitment.

JaniV123 · January 2014

We are in the process of getting a lawyer to get more information.

He knows more about this than I do. He actually brought it up a long long time ago and we agreed on it. From what I read and know here you can state what is and isnt covered in the prenup and it is basically to keep our assets legally separated. If I am sued they can only sue me for what I have and not affect his assets in the process.

The same way we have decided to each have a personal account and we have our join account for couple things like the wedding, living expenses, etc.

Jells2dot0 · January 2014

We have a prenup and a post marital agreement. The post marital agreement just reaffirms our wishes in our prenup. We have both been married before and while my divorce was as tame as it gets, my DH wasn't so lucky. So, for those reasons, for reasons of being older and more established with our own assets (and keeping them separate with the exception of our primary residence), and to protect his children and my potential role/share in my dad's company and the perks that come along with it, we both adamantly agreed it was the right thing to do. It is no way detracts from how we feel about one another or how we perceive our relationship.

lyndausvi · January 2014

Pre-nups can be used not only in divorce but also can protect assets or business as a result of death.

I know people who have one so in the event of a death the spouse understands that the family trust fund goes to say the kids. Or the spouse understands they have no claims to a family business. Or say it's a second marriage with kids involved it's understood that the spouse waives the rights to certain assets and they will be passed to the kids.

There are a lot of good reasons to have a pre-nup, but not everyone needs one.

ShallowSeas · January 2014

This never came up as an issue for us. Neither of us have much of anything. Anything we do have, we have bought together. Neither of our families have money or assets, BUT if either of us did have money, or family money, I would be totally for a prenup.

emmyg65 · January 2014

It's not necessary for us, because we ain't go no assets to protect!

I actually met my husband while he was finalizing a divorce, so we had a lot of opportunity to talk about what it means to us and how we'd handle it if it happened to us. We both believe in community property, so we would split things equally in the event of divorce. That's generally how divorce works in our state anyway. In the event of a nasty breakup, we'd both rather let the other person take what they want than make things more difficult.

B0320 · January 2014

As two young people with rather substantial assets we will be having a pre-nup basically to give us an inventory of our individual assets which would automatically revert to us in the case of our marriage ending. We will be opening joint accounts once married but will still maintain our individual investments.

KatWAG · January 2014

JCBride2014 said:

Funny you ask this. I just watched the prenup episode of HIMYM last night-- you know where Barney tries to specify how much weight Quinn can gain/lose and the paper reaches halfway to the ceiling?

We are not having one. Nobody has any family money and there are no existing kids to provide for.

ETA: as a law student, I know prenups are not actually binding in the case of divorce, God forbid. The judge can still do what he/she wants, so it may not be the complete protection you think it is. Sure it helps because it shows what your intentions were at the time you started marriage, but you'll still need a good divorce attorney.

Exactly this.

H and his family are worth a lot more than I am. I would have signed one if he asked. What H really wanted was for us to completely combined all of our finances. So we did.

Swazzle · January 2014

A pre-nup was unnecessary for us to even consider but if there was a reason for it then I would have been fine with it. Having a pre-nup doesn't mean you're planning for a divorce anymore than having car insurance means you're planning to get into an accident.

JennyColada · January 2014

Fi has a house and much more in savings (he also earns three times as much). I want to get one just to know that he is treated fairly in the unlikely event that things don't work out. He doesn't feel that he needs one. *shrugs* it's his money.

MyNameIsNot · January 2014

PolarBearFitz said:

JaniV123 said:

@JCBride2014 thanks, and I loved that HIMYM episode haha

It actually is not for divorce reasons, we have always shared equally and we dont make a big deal nor does my family, its mostly so his assets and our children'ss are not affected by the family business in case of any legal problems or if I get sued as a Dr.

Forgive me for my lack of legal knowledge on this but I thought prenups were to protect your assets from your spouse in the case of divorce. Does a prenup really protect your family's assets if you are sued for malpractice?

It can. It goes to the community property thing and varies by state and the terms of the agreement. Although malpractice insurance offers much more protection for this.

H and I didn't do one. The only real asset/debt we had when we married was a condo that we jointly owned, so it was unnecessary. But I did insist on a pre-nup style agreement that divided our interest and liability in the condo when we bought it.

ETA: also, pre-nups can be very strong in most states. You'd still need a divorce lawyer, but enforcing one is much simpler and cheaper than litigating a contested divorce. It really ins't up to the whim of the judge.

pinkcow13 · January 2014

We probably will not be having one. I used to think we would, but once I understood them more I realize we won't need one. Neither of us has a significant amount of money, and our families certainly aren't rich, so there really would be no reason for us.

Belthil · January 2014

I'm not sure how I'd feel about one if DH had asked, but I'd like to say that after a moment or two of shock I'd calm down and agree to talk about it. Luckily we're both broke so it wasn't an issue for us.

jdluvr06 · January 2014

We're going to have one.

smalfrie19 · January 2014

we are too poor to need one.

Fran1985 · January 2014

Everyone essentially already has a prenup- its the laws of your state. A pre-nup is a way for a couple to think about that and decide if they want that to be the default, or if they want to modify that. The advantage of a prenup is that you are both thinking about it at the best time in your life, not the worst.

We are not having one, both of us come from similar backgrounds. I make more but not a huge amount.

NavyBlue143 · January 2014

We have no assets to protect. He bought the house 12 years before we met, so I have no claim to that anyway, just some portion of the equity (I think) because we pay the mortgage from a joint account. The only asset I have isn't even mine yet. I inherit a little less than half a million when my father dies, but he is very much alive and I hope he lives to be 190, so there's that. H would want that to go towards our children's futures anyway.

climbingsingle · January 2014

FI has way more money than me. He hasn't brought it up. If he really wanted me to sign one, I would. But I don't see it happening.

chibiyui · January 2014

FI is loaded, and has no debt. I don't make much, and have crapton student loan debt. We will probably have one.

Senecaf · January 2014

We will not be. Our assests are small and have been built together. We each own our own houses but that's it.

misscoffeeplease · January 2014

None for us. We already have the house, our daughter, and a joint bank account already. We aren't rich by all means.

Emmy1493 · January 2014

Cokezerofreak said:

It didn't even come up for us. We are both broke asses.

Hahaha Same here. FI and I haven't really discussed this. I am not coming into any money, and my mother is not wealthy whatsoever (not trying to be rude, it just is what it is.) FI on the other hand has a little bit, but in any worse case scenario, we would try to have the same mindset as @polarbearfitz and work it all out.

lets talk about prenuptual agreements

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