So my sister's wedding is coming up in May. She got engaged at the end of last summer (so about a nine month engagement). When she told me that she was engaged, I, of course, freaked out and hugged her and all that. She didn't ask me to be a BM right away, and I was like, whatever. She is free to choose anyone she wants. I saw her a couple times since then and she still never asked me. I kind of expected her to ask me to be in her WP (she was my MOH), but I wasn't going to ask. Anyway, so we were chatting a couple weeks after her engagement and I was asking about colors, dresses, dates, etc. Anyway, and she started mentioning the BM dresses and then she said something about "your dress" and I was like "Oh, am I a BM?" and she said yea. She has three other BMs, our other two sisters and her best friend.
Fast forward several months. I have been operating under the assumption that I was a BM and her BF is the MOH. I was on the phone with my mom the other day and my mom was talking about how she sent H's tie and shirt to us (H is a groomsman). My mom said how nice it'd be that after the wedding, we'd have a matching outfit to wear on dates or whatever - he'd have the tie in the wedding color and I'd have a dress in that color as well (it's actually a really cute dress I'll wear again!). She also said maybe the photographer would get a quick snapshot of H and I together. I said yea, that'd be cool and it'd probably be easy to get pics of us because, "Since I'm not the MOH and H isn't the BM, maybe (sister) will let us walk together."
I didn't mean anything by saying that, but my mom kind of paused and said, are you sure you're not the MOH? And I was like, well she never asked me. And I told my mom exactly how my sister asked me, which I wrote above. And I said I would certainly remember if she had asked me to be MOH!! My mom said that based on some of her conversations with my sister, it sounded like my sister was planning for me to be/thinks I am the MOH. And my mom said that maybe that my sister thought she asked me or assumed I would assume I was MOH.
So basically, my mom said she'd double-check with my sister and ask for clarification of who is MOH (because I said I wasn't going to ask.) I've seen my sister a few times since that conversation with our mom and my sister hasn't said anything to me.
So basically, I'm wondering what to do now.
I am certainly not going to ask if I'm the MOH. I'm maybe going to talk to my mom again and ask if she found out anything. I'm also thinking about, since the wedding is now only about three months away, sort of "forcing the issue" by saying to my sister, "Hey, so I wanted to start planning a bachelorette/shower for you, but I wanted to know if BF was planning anything and kind of follow her lead, since she's the MOH."
I don't care if I'm not the MOH. She is welcome to choose anyone she wants and it doesn't hurt my feelings if I'm a BM rather than the MOH. I just would like to know which I am!! What would you all do?