Hey guys! So, I need some opinions.. I am having a matron of honor, a maid of honor, 4 bridesmaids and 2 flower girls.
I've asked them all and they said yes, and I was SO excited.. but I am starting to stress out a little.
My matron of honor, my MIL and my Mom all went to a David's Bridal and picked three dresses of two different fabrics. We did this because I'd pick a fabric and then whatever fabric I picked, the girls could choose whatever dress felt the most comfortable and looked the most flattering on them.
A couple months later, I took all the girls except my SIL who lives about 3 hours away up to the dress shop for them to try on, pick, and order their dresses. My Matron of Honor did not tell me until the NIGHT BEFORE that she would not be ordering her dress because her and her husband were having financial troubles. I told her that was fine as long as she ordered it soon.
The next evening we had a heart to heart and I told her that her and her husband, who is also in the wedding, meant more to us with their friendship than them being in the wedding. She told me they had 5 credit cards maxed out and two hospital bills from two different surgeries to pay for....They also have 2 kids (which are her step kids), rent to pay and insurance, and all that jazz. Accepting the responsibility of Matron of Honor means you have to buy your dress, pay to have your hair and nails done, and I also want them to wear cowboy boots which she does not own either. Another responsibility is the bridal shower, which the other maid of honor, and my Mom's offered to help with...but still. She had MONTHS to save up for the dress that they got which the one she was looking at was only $139.00. Most of my bridesmaids and my maid of honor were concerned as to why she didn't get her dress... and I am just worried that if she can't even pay for her dress... is she going to be in the wedding. We are 8 months and like 28 days away from the wedding, but still she has a lot to do. She said they are a couple thousand dollars in debt and with their jobs right now I don't see how she will be able to do all of this.
So like I said, I had a conversation with her that basically gave her an out. I told her that their friendship was more important to us than being in our wedding, and if they couldn't be in the wedding I totally understood. I also told her that she was still more than welcome to come with us to get ready and participate in all of the festivities as I still want her there...I had this talk with her a couple weeks ago. She told me she was going to get the dress with her tax return money. But she also has bills to pay and I can't consciously sleep soundly at night knowing she is struggling BIG TIME with money yet she is just going to make things worse by being in our wedding. I haven't heard from her since I have talked to her, not one text to ask me how planning was going, if I needed anything...nothing.
I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be a total monster and kick her out of the wedding but she obviously didn't get the hint the first time...I don't necessarily want her OUT of the wedding but she has all these bills and 2 kids to pay for and I just don't see how she can pull this off...
Sorry for babbling, hope you could follow, but I am just at my wits end.
Does anyone know how to help me and what I should do?
Thanks in advance,
From A Desperate Bride To Be.