Sanity (Bridezilla) check

Technical Angel · March 2014

I have a MOH and a BM.

Both have several tattoos, but none in visible areas. My MOH mentioned one day she was planning on getting a tattoo in a visible area, but will wait until after my wedding.

My wedding is in a month and a half. Two weeks ago, I was pretty floored when my BM proudly posted pictures of her new tattoo.... on her wrist. That, of course, was the first I heard about it.

I'm fairly upset that she didn't even mention it to me beforehand. She's very upset because my fiance called her out on it on Facebook. I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it. It also didn't help that since the first thing I heard about it was on Facebook with a highly scaled picture that made it look MUCH larger than it is.

So, honest opinions here, am I fixating on something not important or should she have let me know about it first?

Maggie0829 · March 2014

Technical Angel said:

I have a MOH and a BM.

Both have several tattoos, but none in visible areas. My MOH mentioned one day she was planning on getting a tattoo in a visible area, but will wait until after my wedding.

My wedding is in a month and a half. Two weeks ago, I was pretty floored when my BM proudly posted pictures of her new tattoo.... on her wrist. That, of course, was the first I heard about it.

I'm fairly upset that she didn't even mention it to me beforehand. She's very upset because my fiance called her out on it on Facebook. I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it. It also didn't help that since the first thing I heard about it was on Facebook with a highly scaled picture that made it look MUCH larger than it is.

So, honest opinions here, am I fixating on something not important or should she have let me know about it first?

Why would she need to talk to you before hand? It is her body, her choice, regardless of your wedding date. And seriously it isn't like she got a huge, anatomically correct penis tattooed on her back for the world to see. She got a small tattoo on her wrist.

Take your wedding out of the equation. Would you still be pissed that she didn't tell you about getting a tattoo before posting about it on Facebook?

Jen4948 · March 2014

Technical Angel said:

I have a MOH and a BM.

Both have several tattoos, but none in visible areas. My MOH mentioned one day she was planning on getting a tattoo in a visible area, but will wait until after my wedding.

My wedding is in a month and a half. Two weeks ago, I was pretty floored when my BM proudly posted pictures of her new tattoo.... on her wrist. That, of course, was the first I heard about it.

I'm fairly upset that she didn't even mention it to me beforehand. She's very upset because my fiance called her out on it on Facebook. I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it. It also didn't help that since the first thing I heard about it was on Facebook with a highly scaled picture that made it look MUCH larger than it is.

So, honest opinions here, am I fixating on something not important or should she have let me know about it first?

Honest opinion: You're fixating on something not important.

smalfrie19 · March 2014

Why does being a bride give you the right to know everything she does with her body? Should she also tell you she is having sex or getting her annual gynecological exam?

QueerFemme · March 2014

Her body, her life. None of your business.

ETA: The only thing she needs to let you know ahead of time, is if she (a) can't make it to the wedding or (b) can't get her dress. Your wedding, although important and I'm sure will be fabulous, is not nearly as important to anyone else as it is to you and your FI. No one needs to make their life decisions based on your wedding date.

jdluvr06 · March 2014

shrekspeare said:

Technical Angel said:

I have a MOH and a BM.

Both have several tattoos, but none in visible areas. My MOH mentioned one day she was planning on getting a tattoo in a visible area, but will wait until after my wedding.

My wedding is in a month and a half. Two weeks ago, I was pretty floored when my BM proudly posted pictures of her new tattoo.... on her wrist. That, of course, was the first I heard about it.

I'm fairly upset that she didn't even mention it to me beforehand. She's very upset because my fiance called her out on it on Facebook. I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it. It also didn't help that since the first thing I heard about it was on Facebook with a highly scaled picture that made it look MUCH larger than it is.

So, honest opinions here, am I fixating on something not important or should she have let me know about it first?

You are being a Bridezilla. 100%

This. Also as a person with several tattoos, if I was in a friends wedding and she got pissed at me for getting a visible tattoo because of her wedding I would laugh at her.

chibiyui · March 2014

Let it go. It's a non-issue.

FWIW, I also think you should apologize to her, and ask your FI to apologize as well.

smalfrie19 · March 2014

smalfrie19 said:

Why does being a bride give you the right to know everything she does with her body? Should she also tell you she is having sex or getting her annual gynecological exam?

ETA. Me, my MoH and my BM will all have tattoos visible during my wedding. HEY great idea for a wedding picture!!!!

jneen101 · March 2014

Technical Angel said:

I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it.

Honestly, most bridesmaids know that they should consult the bride about everything they do during the months leading up to the wedding. Especially something as drastic as a wrist tattoo!!!!!! My bridesmaids even call me when they are planning to eat a big meal. My MOH was thinking of getting an eyebrow wax last weekend but THANK GOD she had the courtesy to call me first and ask if she was allowed.

jneen101 · March 2014

Also, how did your fiance "call her out" on Facebook? Please tell me he reprimanded her publicly!

sarahufl · March 2014

yep, bridezilla. Let it go.

banana468 · March 2014

Ditto that you need to let this go.

She doesn't have to consult with you on getting a tattoo, haircut or anything to her appearance as long as it isn't converting the dress into nipple tassels before the big day.

HisGirlFriday13 · March 2014

I disagree that you're being a 100% bridezilla.

You're being a 100,000% bridezilla.

If this isn't MUD, then you AND your meddling FI both owe her an apology.

Let me go back and look at how many of my wedding photos involve my BMs showing their wrists... oh wait, that's right, Not.A.Damn.One.

Let it go.

hikebikebemerry · March 2014

GlitterWitch22 said:

http://definitionofdisney.tumblr.com/

http://definitionofdisney.tumblr.com/

GlitterWitch22 said:

I suck at GIFs

I wanted to help... but I'm not sure what gif you wanted to post

.. So I picked my favorite on the page that your links lead me to!

pinkshorts27 · March 2014

jneen101 said:

Technical Angel said:

I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it.

Honestly, most bridesmaids know that they should consult the bride about everything they do during the months leading up to the wedding. Especially something as drastic as a wrist tattoo!!!!!! My bridesmaids even call me when they are planning to eat a big meal. My MOH was thinking of getting an eyebrow wax last weekend but THANK GOD she had the courtesy to call me first and ask if she was allowed.

oh goodness, I was terrified that you were serious for like a half a second. Then I looked at the username and who the "love-its" were from.

AllOnOneDay · March 2014

And here's my DF who is slightly pouting because his very favorite tattoo of mine won't be visible in wedding pictures. Sssshhhhhh, I'm going to have him finish buttoning my dress during first look, so there will be pictures.

It's not like she when all Jackass on you and branded a dick farm on some highly visible location. Even then, her life, her body, her markings.

Your fiance needs to make a big time apology.

climbingsingle · March 2014

Hold up - your FI called her out on Facebook? Please tell me you're not serious.

Both your AND your FI owe her a big apology for acting like two huge jerks. You are most definitely being a bridezilla. She can do whatever she wants to her body without consulting you first.

ZiggyZos · March 2014

Technical Angel said:

I have a MOH and a BM.

Both have several tattoos, but none in visible areas. My MOH mentioned one day she was planning on getting a tattoo in a visible area, but will wait until after my wedding.

My wedding is in a month and a half. Two weeks ago, I was pretty floored when my BM proudly posted pictures of her new tattoo.... on her wrist. That, of course, was the first I heard about it.

I'm fairly upset that she didn't even mention it to me beforehand. She's very upset because my fiance called her out on it on Facebook. I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it. It also didn't help that since the first thing I heard about it was on Facebook with a highly scaled picture that made it look MUCH larger than it is.

So, honest opinions here, am I fixating on something not important or should she have let me know about it first?

I didn't even read past the OP, but I'm sure most of them answer the same way.

To the bolded: Yes. You are. It's her body. She doesn't need your permission, your approval, your consent... nothing. You have zero right to be upset with her about anything.

ZiggyZos · March 2014

smalfrie19 said:

smalfrie19 said:

Why does being a bride give you the right to know everything she does with her body? Should she also tell you she is having sex or getting her annual gynecological exam?

ETA. Me, my MoH and my BM will all have tattoos visible during my wedding. HEY great idea for a wedding picture!!!!

I got a pic with three of my BMs showing off our "ink". I have a tattoo on my shoulder, SIL has one on the back of her neck, one of my best friends has a huge one between her shoulder blades, and my MOH - bless her - had our MUA draw on a pawprint "tattoo" in eyeliner and spray it with hairspray so it would stay all night so she could have some "ink" too.

It's one of my favorite pictures.

PrettyGirlLost · March 2014

Technical Angel said:

I have a MOH and a BM.

Both have several tattoos, but none in visible areas. My MOH mentioned one day she was planning on getting a tattoo in a visible area, but will wait until after my wedding.

My wedding is in a month and a half. Two weeks ago, I was pretty floored when my BM proudly posted pictures of her new tattoo.... on her wrist. That, of course, was the first I heard about it.

I'm fairly upset that she didn't even mention it to me beforehand. She's very upset because my fiance called her out on it on Facebook. I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it. It also didn't help that since the first thing I heard about it was on Facebook with a highly scaled picture that made it look MUCH larger than it is.

So, honest opinions here, am I fixating on something not important or should she have let me know about it first?

The decisions your WP make about their bodies, appearance, trying to conceive, etc. are frankly none of your business. How close your wedding day is in relation to when your WP wants to change anything about themselves, try to have a child, etc. is also irrelevant.

Your FI was really in the wrong and super, super rude. You both owe this woman an apology.

Blue_Bird · March 2014

Technical Angel said:

I have a MOH and a BM.

Both have several tattoos, but none in visible areas. My MOH mentioned one day she was planning on getting a tattoo in a visible area, but will wait until after my wedding.

My wedding is in a month and a half. Two weeks ago, I was pretty floored when my BM proudly posted pictures of her new tattoo.... on her wrist. That, of course, was the first I heard about it.

I'm fairly upset that she didn't even mention it to me beforehand. She's very upset because my fiance called her out on it on Facebook. I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it. It also didn't help that since the first thing I heard about it was on Facebook with a highly scaled picture that made it look MUCH larger than it is.

So, honest opinions here, am I fixating on something not important or should she have let me know about it first?

I hope you called your fiance out for being a jackass.

rikysegal · March 2014

No one will be looking at her wrist, trust me. Take a few deep breaths and move on

AddieCake · March 2014

FFS....that's all I've got.

pinkshorts27 · March 2014

Technical Angel said:

I have a MOH and a BM.

Both have several tattoos, but none in visible areas. My MOH mentioned one day she was planning on getting a tattoo in a visible area, but will wait until after my wedding.

My wedding is in a month and a half. Two weeks ago, I was pretty floored when my BM proudly posted pictures of her new tattoo.... on her wrist. That, of course, was the first I heard about it.

I'm fairly upset that she didn't even mention it to me beforehand. She's very upset because my fiance called her out on it on Facebook. I've tried to tell her IDGAF about the tattoo itself (which is only a teeny tiny lie), that I'm only upset that she did something that drastic that close to my wedding without saying a word to me about it. It also didn't help that since the first thing I heard about it was on Facebook with a highly scaled picture that made it look MUCH larger than it is.

So, honest opinions here, am I fixating on something not important or should she have let me know about it first?

I'm not a huge fan of tattoos (just not my thing), but I would never ever ever presume to control my bridesmaids or think that I had any say over anyone's body at any point (wedding or not). And if my friend got one, I would tell her how awesome I thought it was and not think twice.

Danger+Zone · March 2014

It is your wedding, but it is HER body. Unfortunately, you don't get a say in what she does to it. I agree that you and your fiancé owe her an apology.

CamiSelene · March 2014

Oh, FFS. Yes, you are being a bridezilla. I can't stand it when people think they have a say over someone else's hair/style/body just because they agreed to be in your wedding. A good friend wouldn't have even been bothered by this initially. If you can't embrace your friends for who they are everyday, including your wedding, then you don't deserve to have them as a friend.

One of my very close friends and bridesmaids has five tattoos (3 of which will be visible) and do I care? Hell no. Tbth, I'm even a little jealous because my dress is long and my favourite tattoo won't be seen (although since we're all doing colourful shoes, so maybe we'll do a shoe shot and will be able to see it :P). The only one you truly get a say over absolutely every aspect of one's appearance is yourself.

-End of rant- Sorry, but I have been reading a lot of stupid crap like this lately and it bothers me to no end!

HaileyDancingbear · March 2014

You owe her a huge apology, but frankly if your FI seriously called her out on a public forum, you might have already caused too much damage to really fix- even if she stops being pissed at you (And very rightfully so!) for embarrassing her and reprimanding her on Facebook for all her friends to see, I doubt you can un-do any of the MANY eye rolls your FI caused with that crap, and the impression that anyone who saw those comments now has, that you are a total bridezilla.

MollyandD · March 2014

It's only a wrist tattoo. She could get flowers tattooed all over her face, and it still wouldn't be your business. If my fiancé "called her out" on Facebook, I'd be really embarrassed.

Sanity (Bridezilla) check

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