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Drunk wedding guests - let's discuss

climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
Did drunk wedding guests ruin your wedding? 
If your future wedding guests got drunk, would you consider your wedding ruined? 

I've read on here quite a few times that some couples don't want to serve alcohol for fear that their guests will overdo it. I've also read on here that couples have felt that drunk guests have ruined their weddings. 

Personally, I don't see how drunk guests would ruin my wedding. At my first wedding a million years ago, quite a few of our guests were drunk. Not fall down drunk, but definitely loud, happy, having a great time, dancing their asses off drunk. We all had a blast. 

I've attended weddings where guests have way overdone it. At my friend R's wedding 2 years ago, one of her friends was shitfaced and crying in the middle of the dance floor. At my uncle's wedding, some people were puking the bathroom. At my friend W's wedding, a very drunk guest fell on the dance floor and then fell into a table. None of these people felt their weddings were ruined. Sure, people talked about it. But it certainly wasn't the focal point of the entire day. 

If I end up with drunk wedding guests in September, I really can't see myself caring that much. 

Let's discuss. 

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Re: Drunk wedding guests - let's discuss

  • SenecafSenecaf member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I feel the same. Unless you are shit faced and make a scene during the ceremony or any other early formality I can't really imagine it would ruin anything.

    beharringtond2valarrygaga
  • One of our guests got so shitfaced that the venue asked her to leave almost immediately after dinner.  Didn't have any effect on my wedding, and most people didn't even know.  The only person it affected or made look bad was her. A couple other people got pretty drunk, but honestly, I barely noticed.
  • There was a wedding we went to where the date of a guest got so drunk they peed, PEED on the dance floor!  At same said wedding, the groom had to clean puke off the shuttle bus or pay the $1000 fee.   It did NOT ruin their wedding day, they still got married, they still had a fantastic time, and now enjoy having some pretty hilarious stories to share with others afterward.

    As long as it doesn't end in violence - I say they only make the night interesting and provide a good laugh/story for later.
    beharringtonmelbelleup
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    We had many drunk wedding guests.  They did not ruin anything.  In fact, they made for some hilarious moments.  Like my friend falling on the dance floor and dropping her glass.  She laughed hysterically and so did the rest of us after we made sure she was okay (our photog even got some pictures).  Then another guest (not sure how) found a mop and started to giddy up around the dance floor like he was riding a horse before helping the staff clean up the drink/glass.

    My H was one of the many drunk guests.  He held it together well until we left and then I guess the fresh air made the alcohol really sink in and he proceeded to pass out on our hotel room floor.  I found it funny and after he was safely tucked into bed I went out and partied with some friends at a local bar.

    So no, none of our drunk guests ruined anything.

    Now, if they started a fight, broke/vandalized the venue or we needed to call the police then that would be a different story.

    grumbledoreKatieinBklnmelbelleup[Deleted User]
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    I think drunk guests are more likely to ruin it for their SO or the other guests, not the couple. I think I'll be kind of oblivious to a lot of the reception goings-on in my happy stupor. However, when my friend's husband got so smashed at a wedding a few months ago that he ended up passed out in a broom closet and she had no idea where he was, and she and 4 other guests wound up searching for him for the better part of an hour... not such a great night for them.

    I'm not too worried about it though. Our bartenders are professionals at a pretty swanky place, and this ain't their first rodeo, I trust them to cut people off when necessary. I MAY ask them to do light pours for my stepmom though... lol.

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    grumbledore[Deleted User]wandajune6plainjane0415
  • SmileDamnitSmileDamnit Mile High City member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Our crowd is one that consists of a number of drinkers (and our wedding crowd will be 100% family &/or family-by-proxy) so needless to say, most will be sufficiently "buzzed" the entire weekend. Said crowd, however, is not generally one to make a scene so I'm not in the least worried about anyone ruining the wedding.

    (...knock on wood...)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I had no drunken guests.

    For my first wedding, my ex's cousin wasn't invited, yet we were at his grandmother's 80th bday party and his cousin and wife were there, telling us how much they were looking forward to being at our wedding. His aunt had extended our invitation to them.  I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. This woman got really drunk to the point where she started trying to chase all the women down and tackle them and give them "titty twisters". She tried to do it to me and realized she was going to get punched in the face and said "We are going to have soooo much fun at your wedding!!!" and i walked out and told ex to fix it, and he did, and his aunt declined our invitation because of it (no loss).  I found out later that the wife got arrested for assaulting a bride at a bachelorette party once. She was trying to pull her hair out.

    So I guess my solution was to not invite the obnoxious problem. If someone got drunk and wasn't assaulting me or my guests, or...wow, peeing on the floor? I think the drunkness would be fine
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
    Vivandiere8
  • I will be shocked if many of our wedding guests do NOT get drunk/tipsy.  I know our crowd.  They like to drink.

    I don't even understand the "I don't want drunk people at my wedding" mentality unless the couple is uncomfortable with drinking in general.

    People get drunk at all of our family gatherings.  It's fun.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Senecaf
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2014
    LakeR2014 said:
    There was a wedding we went to where the date of a guest got so drunk they peed, PEED on the dance floor!  At same said wedding, the groom had to clean puke off the shuttle bus or pay the $1000 fee.   It did NOT ruin their wedding day, they still got married, they still had a fantastic time, and now enjoy having some pretty hilarious stories to share with others afterward.

    As long as it doesn't end in violence - I say they only make the night interesting and provide a good laugh/story for later.
    I'd pay the fee on my wedding day and be pretty ticked if a guest had puked. ETA: and I had to clean it up. Puke all you want, FI and I will not be touching it. (just to be clear)



    I know my aunts/uncles will be drinking and having fun. None drink until they puke. They just drink until their faces turn red, their stories/laughs get louder, and their dancing gets more ridiculous. My aunt my drink herself further into alcoholism, but since she never has made an attempt to get sober in the past forty years, I'm not stressing about it. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • I will start by saying my husband has strange friends. If they had been drunk at our wedding a few would have ended up in jail. They are the kind to call and expect bail money. No bail no more friendship.

    I think this is dumb of his friends. They are his friends so I just decided no alcohol. That aside we could not afford alcohol for 200 people anyway.

    I also did not want to feel liable for any accidents or can avalanility.
  • Cab not can, ugh
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2014
    If shit gets super wild at the reception, I will not feel that anything has been ruined. As long as no one pukes on me or where I'm going to walk, I don't super care.

    The issue I'm running into is that one of FI's very good longtime friends is an alcoholic, and comes from a very large family of alcoholics. Dude has cirrhosis and still drinks and doesn't give a shit. It is not on us to stage an intervention, because he sees no issue with this whatsoever and it would probably a friendship-ending move for whoever did so. Kool-Aid Man is a nice dude, but he has no plans to stop drinking, I'm pretty sure his family would disown him if he stopped, because they are a Kool-Aid Man family.

    He gets HAMMERED at pretty much every event, and either acts like the Kool-Aid Man, or he will toddle around grumpy because someone took his keys or he thinks that the booze supply is running low. That is always a serious concern of his, and he usually overbuys on everything because he's kinda nuts.In the towns he usually drinks in, he has been able to pass field sobriety tests, and if not, can pull family connections that have kept him from getting DUIs/DWIs. Basically, if Kool-Aid Man is out drinking, it's probably not safe to be out on the road in the area.

    I don't really know what to do about this beyond asking our bartenders (who know him very well and have been VERY GOOD for years at not overserving him to the point of blackout drunkenness) to try to pay attention to how fucked-up he's getting and maybe offer them a HUGE bonus if they can help make it happen. I would rather not have to do that because Kool-Aid Man is an adult and a guest and he should be able to drink freely if that's what he wants to do.

    I also don't want it to come back to us if he gets a DUI/DWI with our reception info on him and take the fall for overserving.

    A story about the Kool-Aid Man:
    We went to a wedding last year, and Kool-Aid Man decided that the hosts were going to run out of booze about 4.5hours into the reception. This was not the case at all, but he was convinced. Luckily, he was not driving that night, but he felt that it was imperative that we make a trip to supply more booze to the dwindling party. The bartenders had run out of gin. That was it. The FOUR kegs they had were still working fine and had plenty left in them.

    The liquor store was closed, but he convinced FI that we needed to go get kegs. FI did not believe that it was necessary, but if it kept Kool-Aid Man from marching off into the woods to find some kind of gas station oasis that had kegs, we would oblige and let him go attempt to buy beer. Whatever.

    FI, Kool-Aid Man, and I arrive at the closest gas station. I stay in the truck, and FI accompanies Kool-Aid Man inside (he wanted to see this shit go down because it was going to be ridiculous.

    FI and Kool-Aid Man walk out with SEVEN 30 RACKS OF BEER. THAT Is TWO HUNDRED AND TEN BEERS!!!!! The party is wrapping up, and Kool-Aid Man is trying to pawn beer off on everybody. No one needs it because the kegs are still going.

    FI, Kool-Aid Man, and 2 other people ended up using 2 30 racks the next night after a shitty somewhat-DW with a cash bar. Yay.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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  • Since our wedding, three of DH's friends have told him how completely shit-faced they got and how great it was to have 'free alcohol!' (cash bars are very much the norm in our area). 

    I talked to all three of them at several points in the night. Couldn't have told you then that they were shit-faced, or getting there, even though they were among the last to leave the reception.

    Apparently two of them made it back to their hotel rooms and promptly threw up in the bathroom and then slept on the bathroom floor. 
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    melbelleupVivandiere8grumbledore
  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited May 2014
    I considered my wedding a success because our guests got drunk! But our friends and family can handle their liquor so no one puked, cried, or got in a fight (at least not publicly).
    KatWAGadettma32
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    @beethery, I'm a big believer that one person's rights end where another's begin. So the "he's an adult and can make his own decisions" stops being true if he gets so drunk that he's being a menace to other people. I see nothing wrong with asking the bartenders to help keep him on an even keel.

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  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    @beethery, I'm a big believer that one person's rights end where another's begin. So the "he's an adult and can make his own decisions" stops being true if he gets so drunk that he's being a menace to other people. I see nothing wrong with asking the bartenders to help keep him on an even keel.
    Yeah, I seriously don't know what else to do. Cash bars don't stop him at all, not that I plan to have one. I hope I'm not in the wrong for wanting to do that.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I can't believe someone peed on the dance floor! Holy jeez. 

    My ex once got super drunk at a wedding we attended. It sucked. It was a Sunday night and I had to work the next day. By the end of the wedding, he was belligerent and refused to leave with me. So I left him there and he went out after with the groom and friends. He got home at 3am. So yes, it sucked for me being his guest. But he definitely didn't cause a scene at the wedding. He was probably one of the less drunker ones. 

  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    I don't think drunk people can really ruin anything by being drunk. Worst case scenario, they'll embarrass themselves. I worry a little bit about a guest with a mental illness who shouldn't drink at all on his meds but does so anyway, but that's more of a worry for him and his health (and his loved ones, who have to deal with any episodes), not "my vision" or whatever. (All these brides with visions, I think they should start a psychic franchise). People where I'm from drink a lot but you can't always TELL that they're drunk. Which is why I will be offering shuttle service...
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    Simky906emmyg65
  • One of our guests got very drunk and forgot what room he was in. One of our GMs tried to walk him to his room. He struggled with the door. Finally, a very angry woman threw open the door and yelled "THIS IS NOT YOUR FUCKING ROOM.' Oops. So they try again, but drunky can't remember which room is his. So GM eventually puts him on the elevator, presses Ground, and leaves him there.
    melbelleuplovesclimbingOliveOilsMom
  • I'm sure there will be drunk people at my wedding. My friends like to drink. I don't think anyone will get super drunk though, unless we break out the moonshine later. When I was doing some research a few years ago I spent a ton of time with some coal miners and they are super awesome so I keep in touch with them. They sent me three gallons of apple pie moonshine for the wedding.
    melbelleupgrumbledore
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm not too worried about it. FI's circle has had some crazy weddings but I think they've all kind of outgrown it. The last couple weddings we've gone to were a far cry from the first couple that got married in their early 20s- people were having sex on the grounds and FI couldn't find his date for hours and finally found her passed out in a bathtub. But the last couple have been pretty tame. 

    We want people to get drunk and have fun. I am in the camp that so long as nobody pukes in front of me (I do have some emetophobia issues) or gets hurt, I'm good. I have some older relatives that might be offended, but they are already going to be offended by my nonreligious wedding and my showing tattoo and our couple sets of LGBT guests, so whatever, they can leave the partying to us. 
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I will be shocked if many of our wedding guests do NOT get drunk/tipsy.  I know our crowd.  They like to drink.

    I don't even understand the "I don't want drunk people at my wedding" mentality unless the couple is uncomfortable with drinking in general.

    People get drunk at all of our family gatherings.  It's fun.

    ***SIB ***

    I would have been more surprised if we didn't have a drunk person.   Fact is did have drunk people and no it didn't ruin our wedding.  They were not so sloopy as to spill drinks everywhere, start fights, stuff like that.  They were having fun.  Pretty much like every other family gathering.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    grumbledore
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I should add, my old roommate went to a wedding where the groomsman's gifts were knives. Apparently this ended badly when someone got to drunk and pulled said knife on someone. Also supposedly my great grandfather stabbed someone at a wedding. So knives and alcohol and weddings don't really mix, apparently. 
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  • Drunk wedding guests made our wedding hilarious. Two groomsman were drunk and each asked me for a dance where they proceeded to talk about the weddings they want one day. One guest, at the end of the night, was dry-humping his wife and not in a joking manner.

    BUT I have also seen drunken wedding guest go horribly wrong. At my cousin's wedding, one guy gestured wildly while telling her (the bride) something and sloshed wine down the front of her dress. During cocktail hour. And rather than apologizing, he ran away.

  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited May 2014
    I wouldn't consider my wedding 'ruined' just because some guests got drunk.  Maybe if they did something really stupid I would be kind of pissed off or disappointed.  Examples:
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    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/wedding-celebration-gangnam-style-ends-dead-reveler-accidentally-shoots-ak-47-article-1.1525778 .
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    climbingwifemelbelleup
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Yes, people got drunk at our wedding. No, it did not ruin our day at all. Groomsman's gf got up on the stage with the band and while dancing, pulled her whole dress over her head. Showing off her black lace undies and more. The guys didnt seem to mind, but my grandma was a bit baffled.

    Another guest (friend of MIL) literally took everything not nailed down for her daughters wedding taking place a few months later. Picture frames, bathroom baskets, escrot card holders, etc. She even asked the venue manager for a bag to hold everything. The next day, when she sobered up, she called MIL apologied and returned everything.

    We had an unofficial after party at the hotel bar. A few guests stayed up past 4am and showed up to the day after brunch in the same clothes. They had no shame, it was hilarious.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    melbelleup
  • afox007afox007 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    I know we will have drunk guests; probably FI and I included. Most of us can hold our alcohol just fine and only get a little louder when we drink. I am worried about FMIL she gets belligerent, has no brain to mouth filter, and forgets how to act like a civilized person when she drinks. I would LOVE to say she won't ruin the wedding, but she did successfully screw up Christmas so is possible. 
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm a drinker. I think you guys know I love my wine. But I'm not going to drink during the wedding. I want to remember everything! But I will be drinking after. 

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