Father's Girlfriend???

misshart00 · August 2014

I love that you added the "sharing children" policy.

MobKaz · August 2014

MegEn1 said:

The moment I saw the 'no ring, no bring' line I knew this thread was about to turn so fast we were all going to get whiplash.

Mostly because it's super tacky and rude. People in relationships are a social unit - a boxed set, if you will.

HOLD UP! If what I just read in prior posts is true, this is additionally a PPD with a plan to have a 5 year old pull an 18 month old in a wagon up the aisle?????????????????

Cookie Pusher · August 2014

KaycieBerchiolli said:
It's ok, I generally don't make friends with people who make snap judgments without knowing much about a person. We basically have no friends or family who are not married or engaged that have been in a relationship longer than 3 months. We have those that are in long term relationships who are not married but all share children, which is why we are including people who shared children. The average age range for our guests is 50 (there are very few people under 40), most of our family members are either married, in the midst of a divorce, or have children together but no desire to marry. I'm old enough to know how tacky it is to bring a random person to a wedding and raise that couples bill for everything. We were very up front about the policy, we had a hard time finding a venue that could fit everyone and was available on that date. We don't have the room and we don't think find it tacky to ask someone not to bring their boyfriend of 2 months, or the guy they've been hanging out at the bar with lately to an already at capacity event.

You're making snap judgments about people's relationships based on how long they are. How do you know that someone isn't dating their future spouse? There have been plenty of people here who have expressed that they knew very early on that they were with the person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. While they may not have jumped right into engagement and marriage doesn't mean that their relationships weren't as meaningful and important as people who have been married for several years. Hell, DH and I exchanged "I love yous" within 3 weeks of dating and knew shortly after that we would eventually end up getting married - we just didn't want to jump the gun because we were so young. And a boyfriend/girlfriend of 3 months isn't a random person, it's your guest's significant other.

Liatris2010 · August 2014

I find that snap judgements, when based on how a person treats the people they consider their nearest and dearest to usually be correct.

mimivac · August 2014

KaycieBerchiolli said:
I'm old enough to know how tacky it is to bring a random person to a wedding and raise that couples bill for everything.

Yikes. I would be so hurt to find out that a good friend would view my boyfriend of 2 years as a random person who will only "raise the bill."

Fran1985 · August 2014

Aren't you already married anyway?

The no ring no bring policy makes me cringe not just because or how rude it is but just because the only people who would ever describe it that way are huge bridezillas. I just picture an awful woman looking at her friend who has been dating her bf/gf for years and pointing to her left hand going "No ring no bring!" while shaking her fingers no. And she has really long horrible fake nails. And is wearing neon for some reason and has neon scrunchies and is chewing gum. That's the full mental picture I get.

JellyBean52513 · August 2014

KaycieBerchiolli said:
It's ok, I generally don't make friends with people who make snap judgments without knowing much about a person. We basically have no friends or family who are not married or engaged that have been in a relationship longer than 3 months. We have those that are in long term relationships who are not married but all share children, which is why we are including people who shared children. The average age range for our guests is 50 (there are very few people under 40), most of our family members are either married, in the midst of a divorce, or have children together but no desire to marry. I'm old enough to know how tacky it is to bring a random person to a wedding and raise that couples bill for everything. We were very up front about the policy, we had a hard time finding a venue that could fit everyone and was available on that date. We don't have the room and we don't think find it tacky to ask someone not to bring their boyfriend of 2 months, or the guy they've been hanging out at the bar with lately to an already at capacity event.

So, my boss was reeeeally up-front about her "no ring, no bring" policy. Like, she went around work bitching to everyone who would listen about how she was SOOOO offended that her bridesmaid wanted to bring her boyfriend of 2+ years to the wedding, and how the bridesmaid didn't take it well when she was told "no ring, no bring." Despite how up-front she was about this policy, it didn't stop people from saying "Oh, of course, weddings are expensive, it's understandable that you don't have room at the venue/more money to upgrade to the bigger room" to her face and "Wow, how fucking rude. Her perfect dream venue is more important to her than being able to afford to host all of her guests properly and not make them feel like shit in the process" behind her back.

So, go ahead and be upfront about your policy lol I guarantee you that all of the people you're pissing off with it wouldn't actually say it to your face. Everyone will just secretly think you're a total asshole.

ETA paragraphs

beethery · August 2014

MobKaz said:

MegEn1 said:

The moment I saw the 'no ring, no bring' line I knew this thread was about to turn so fast we were all going to get whiplash.

Mostly because it's super tacky and rude. People in relationships are a social unit - a boxed set, if you will.

HOLD UP! If what I just read in prior posts is true, this is additionally a PPD with a plan to have a 5 year old pull an 18 month old in a wagon up the aisle?????????????????

Father's Girlfriend???

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