Hi,
My FI and I are getting married (yay!) on May 2nd, we're doing a City Hall ceremony. This was entirely, 100% by choice. We had the option of having a small reception but ultimately decided we would rather save the money for our honeymoon, and we both couldn't be happier with that decision. We are going to City Hall with our parents, getting married, and then going out for a nice brunch.
My mom has been (mostly) supportive of this, but has really dug her heels in a few times. She is a very pushy person and somewhat narcissistic, she's not happy unless she gets her way. In adulthood, I've realized sometimes it is easier just to give in to her because the mental and emotional strain of fighting with her is really tough on me. We live on opposite sides of the country and most of the time, we have a decent (but somewhat distant) relationship. We have fought a bit with regards to wedding planning and I have given in because I honestly don't care to spend the energy fighting her. She wanted me to have a gown, I said no, she stopped speaking to me for 3 weeks, so now I have a gown. She wanted flowers and a limo, we now have flowers and a limo. Whatever. The point of the day for me is marrying my FI, and knowing that will get me through dealing with my mom.
She had the idea to throw us a belated reception in September, at her home on the eastern shore. I am looking forward to it, as it was originally slated to be a very casual event. However, she has started to ratchet up the plans a lot as of the past 2 weeks, and she tried to insist that I wear my gown at the reception. I said no, we fought about it, I said no again, and she gave in, but very huffily demanded that it will be hung up on display at the party.
My question is this: is it inappropriate to display my wedding gown at a belated reception? Is that too much like a PPD? Wedding announcements will be sent out on May 2nd, so it's not like anyone would be under the delusion that we aren't married until September, but I'm a pretty anxious person and I worry about doing The Wrong Thing. She is hosting, so I have let her do 99% of the planning (by choice), but this is the only thing that makes me slightly uneasy.
cheers,
L