My wedding is going to be a CIRCUS.

Knottie1432955973 · May 2015

So my fiancé and I are getting married August 28th. We have a 6mo. old son together and we're very excited! HOWEVER.

While we get along wonderfully with each other's families, I'm worried our families are not going to get along so well. His family and my family like each other and get along fine, but both of us come from messy divorced families. So I'm pretty positive there is going to be at least one angry mess, but possibly more. Here's the breakdown.

My fiancé's brother (& best man) and their mother. His brother absolutely HATES her (it's all a big misinformation and she tries so hard to be part of his life but he won't have any of it.) and he's not the type to keep his mouth shut. The last time they were in the same general area did not go well. But we want them both there as they're both very important to us.

My ex-step father and my mother's new fiancé. Ex-step father is absolutely convinced that this guy "stole his wife" (my mom) and will absolutely not shut his fucking mouth about it to anyone ever (it's almost been 3 years at this point). I want him to come because I still consider him family as we grew close when they were married, but I know he's going to say something I just know it.

My brother and his wife are in the process of getting divorced right now and I think he's bringing his new girlfriend (fine with me because I met her and she's super nice) but I'm worried his soon-to-be ex-wife is going to get upset. (I want her to go as well because I love her like a sister, and my brother is one of our ushers.)

My mother and my dad's brother. My dad's brother is a huge asshole (this is going to get messy confusing for a second so please bear with me) My dad's brother is dating my moms cousin (mom and dad are divorced so they're not related and its not as nuts as it sounds) but my mom hates him and how he treats her cousin and he's just a gigantic asshole on his own (part of why he's my favorite uncle.) ugh. First thing out of his mouth when I gave him his invite, "Is your fuckin' mom gonna be there?" YES OF COURSE SHE IS IT'S MY FUCKING WEDDING YOU IDIOT. My dad told him "It's Kacey's day, nobody else's. Behave yourself." (Thank youuuuu father.)

I think that's all of them. Oh, and my fiancé's sister, who happens to like me (if ya catch my drift) just asked us if she can bring her new boyfriend AND her girlfriend to the wedding, because apparently she has both now.

My wedding is going to be a fucking circus. I mean, it's my circus, but I'd like to get through it without anyone getting arrested. Any advice?

LondonLisa · June 2015

Knottie1432955973 said:

So my fiancé and I are getting married August 28th. We have a 6mo. old son together and we're very excited! HOWEVER.
While we get along wonderfully with each other's families, I'm worried our families are not going to get along so well. His family and my family like each other and get along fine, but both of us come from messy divorced families. So I'm pretty positive there is going to be at least one angry mess, but possibly more. Here's the breakdown.
My fiancé's brother (& best man) and their mother. His brother absolutely HATES her (it's all a big misinformation and she tries so hard to be part of his life but he won't have any of it.) and he's not the type to keep his mouth shut. The last time they were in the same general area did not go well. But we want them both there as they're both very important to us.
My ex-step father and my mother's new fiancé. Ex-step father is absolutely convinced that this guy "stole his wife" (my mom) and will absolutely not shut his fucking mouth about it to anyone ever (it's almost been 3 years at this point). I want him to come because I still consider him family as we grew close when they were married, but I know he's going to say something I just know it.
My brother and his wife are in the process of getting divorced right now and I think he's bringing his new girlfriend (fine with me because I met her and she's super nice) but I'm worried his soon-to-be ex-wife is going to get upset. (I want her to go as well because I love her like a sister, and my brother is one of our ushers.)
My mother and my dad's brother. My dad's brother is a huge asshole (this is going to get messy confusing for a second so please bear with me) My dad's brother is dating my moms cousin (mom and dad are divorced so they're not related and its not as nuts as it sounds) but my mom hates him and how he treats her cousin and he's just a gigantic asshole on his own (part of why he's my favorite uncle.) ugh. First thing out of his mouth when I gave him his invite, "Is your fuckin' mom gonna be there?" YES OF COURSE SHE IS IT'S MY FUCKING WEDDING YOU IDIOT. My dad told him "It's Kacey's day, nobody else's. Behave yourself." (Thank youuuuu father.)
I think that's all of them. Oh, and my fiancé's sister, who happens to like me (if ya catch my drift) just asked us if she can bring her new boyfriend AND her girlfriend to the wedding, because apparently she has both now.
My wedding is going to be a fucking circus. I mean, it's my circus, but I'd like to get through it without anyone getting arrested. Any advice?

Why don't you both take your son on an amazing holiday and elope with your Fi on an exotic beach? Don't tell your family members about it until you get back. It is terribly romantic, and the best part is you don't have to deal with any of the drama.

Honestly, if none of these people can behave like adults (and it sounds like they can't) you cannot expect them to do so just because it is your wedding. All you can change is how you react to it and not let it bother you.

I would elope if I were in your shoes.

charlottesmom0626 · June 2015

no booze. Lunch reception?

Maggie0829 · June 2015

I'm with LondonLisa on this one. The amount of drama that is most likely going to occur would be the tipping point for me in choosing the elopement route.

sheknows6 · June 2015

Let them fight. Serve popcorn, relax and enjoy the free entertainment because that sounds like a reality television show to be honest.

Enjoy your day and let them act like children or elope.

Whatever you decide remember that their behavior is only a reflection of them and not something you should worry about if you can help it.

Knottie1432955973 · June 2015

I really appreciate all the suggestions! The elopement idea made me swoon, but we've already invested a bit of money into our wedding invites and other related things, and I don't want it to go to waste (Also I'm in the middle of opening my own business and can't really leave although my wanderlust is telling me this is a fantastic idea.)

And sheknows6, your comment made me laugh out loud, partially because my fiancé and I are extremely laid back people and this is exactly something we would do!

We're pretty used to the craziness at this point I guess, and it will definitely make for a memorable wedding! Just hoping my big 6'2" 250lb Viking fiancé won't have to "escort" anyone out (even though I know he would love that haha).

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

I get not wanting to "waste" deposits. But if you're avoiding a ton of drama and stress, it's anything BUT a waste. Consider it a gift to yourselves. Seriously.

LondonLisa · June 2015

The money is already spent, so don't worry about it. If you are starting up your own business, the time, effort and sanity you are spending worrying about this will be plenty more than taking a day or 2 and jetting off somewhere. Just look at skyscanner.com to see where you could get a deal. I guarantee you will actually save money and brain power doing it that way, coming back refreshed and ready to start married and business life, instead of cringing at the fallout and being sucked into the drama.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

You know you don't even have to go anywhere to elope. Eloping means getting married without telling anyone. You can easily do that in your home town by going to the courthouse and getting married.

And honestly, I would happily forgo whatever money you have spent so far and do something where the drama would be minimal if not non-existent then spend even more money on something that is just going to stress you out.

climbingsingle · June 2015

Honestly, I think you're causing yourself stress regarding these people for no reason. They might all surprise you and behave like adults on the day of the wedding. Or, they may fight. It's out of your control. If they fight the day off, ignore it. But again, worrying about it does absolutely nothing. Either focus on something else, or elope.

KnottiePine · June 2015

You should just show up and enjoy your day, they are not your problem to solve.

Jen4948 · June 2015

If you can't count on these people to act like adults, realize that the day is about your union and not about their relationships or lack thereof with each other, and keep their hostilities to themselves, then as much as you'd like to invite them all to your wedding and hope they act like mature adults, it really doesn't make sense to do that.

If you're going to do that anyway, which it sounds like, I'd make sure you have security on hand to escort anyone out who needs it, and let anyone who mouths off about anyone else being at your wedding know that the security will be there, and that THEY will be the ones escorted out if it proves necessary.

My wedding is going to be a CIRCUS.

Re: My wedding is going to be a CIRCUS.

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