Military Traditions in the Wedding

Knottie45337893 · July 2015

My new Fiance has been in the Air Force for 2 years now and we are proud to be a military couple! One of my big issues are that he deploys next year and he wants me to plan the wedding while he is gone....but i haven't the first clue on how to plan a wedding or even an Air Force ceremony. What do i do? Also, does anyone know the traditions for an Air Force ceremony?

kmmssg · July 2015

I was on active duty for 26 years, so take my advice with a grain of salt. You aren't marrying the Air Force, you are marrying your FI. If he WANTS to wear his uniform then great! If not, he wears a suit or tux. This wedding should be completely about the 2 of you so put your line of thinking around that.

If he is of a rank that is eligible for a saber arch you can do that, but many churches will not allow it in the sanctuary because the sword is a weapon of war - you can do it outside.

When I go to a "military wedding" I am going to a wedding, been to several. There is a uniform usually, maybe the saber arch, maybe a groom's cake with a nod to his branch of service (or HER branch of service!) but that's about it.

Knottie45337893 · July 2015

Thank you so much! I get what you are saying, and i definitely should focus on him and I. And i guess i could ask for his input when we FaceTime. Thank you again.

pinupbride6189 · July 2015

Totally agree with kmmssg. If he wants to wear his uniform and incorporate any kind of military tradition or theme, then that's fine, but you don't have to. It's completely up to you two as to the kind of wedding you want. FI and I are both active duty and we aren't having anything military related at all. My sister on the other hand is a civilian and her FI is military. He's wearing his dress whites and making it a thing. To each his own really. Just don't stress yourself out thinking your wedding has to be "in regs" or something.

kmmssg · July 2015

I did mean to mention that one of my daughter's got married last year and her husband is active duty and a Senior NCO. She asked him what he wanted military wise included at the wedding and he said, "Oh, hell no. No military. Now Transformers? We can talk about that, but no military stuff."

pinupbride6189 · July 2015

kmmssg said:

I did mean to mention that one of my daughter's got married last year and her husband is active duty and a Senior NCO. She asked him what he wanted military wise included at the wedding and he said, "Oh, hell no. No military. Now Transformers? We can talk about that, but no military stuff."

That's how FI was when I asked him if he wanted to wear his uniform or not, except that he wanted Godzilla instead of transformers. lol.

kmmssg · July 2015

SIL did wear a Darth Vadar helmet for the grand entrance. It was a surprise as was the light saber arch and Imperial March playing when they came in. He SERIOUSLY wanted her to come down the aisle to the Imperial March! She said no in very very clear terms.

CMGragain · July 2015

Daughter had fantasy games scattered around the reception room to occupy some of her gamer friends. The Groom's cake was a replica of the Dungeons and Dragons book. Their entrance march was from Kill Bill? I don't get it, but she was happy. Their ceremony was a traditional Methodist Church ceremony with no mention of gaming, though, so everybody was happy.

I suggest you consider an air force related groom's cake.

tojai · July 2015

I had to do most of our wedding planning when DH was in the field but it's totally doable by yourself. The main thing I had to sort was what he was going to wear to the wedding - if he wanted to wear his dress blues we were set, if he wanted to wear a suit/tux we were going to have some shopping to do.

We actually didn't have any military traditions in our wedding, we were both of the opinion that the military took up far too much of our lives and our wedding was definitely one place we didn't want to be reminded of it. But he did end up wearing his dress blues because we blew our budget on air fare, plus timing issues.

flbride2015 · July 2015

Ditto what PPs said. I would make sure he even wants to wear his uniform first. My fiance said no way. He wants no military related stuff for our wedding, which is fine by me.

I've been to a military wedding for my fiance's friend. The groom wore his blues as did some of his friends. They did the saber arch thing. But that was basically it. Other than the arch and it being at the Officer's Club on base, there really were no other "military" things.

randomslove · July 2015

My FI is active duty and I'm a veteran. My mom started begging me to convince him to wear his Blues (we're both Marines) because she wanted to help plan a "Marine Corps Wedding." I understand why he wants to wear a tux and agree-- we both see our Blues as a ceremonial uniform, not as our formal wear-- so the last time she asked me to ask him, I said, "Well, I can wear my Blues instead of a wedding dress." I think that finally made her understand the point.

As it is, we decided to forgo any military traditions, mostly because we both find a lot of them cheesy (the sword arch is pretty, but I'd be PISSED if anyone did the whole 'tap-on-butt-to-welcome-to-family thing, seeing as I'm a Marine and the wedding would change that not in the least-- I had a friend marry another Marine and that happened at the wedding despite her telling them no.)

We want our wedding to be a reflection of us as couple, and to only be restricted by etiquette, legalities, etc. When you add in traditions, it's pretty important to get them right. For instance if either of us wanted to be in uniform for the wedding we'd have to change our hair (he'll be out by then, and my hair is green and blue). For me, I'd have to take out all but two of my piercings. If I wanted to wear earrings, I'd have to get studs that follow the regulations. I would only be able to paint my nails a shade of red or go French style. If he had any piercings or facial hair, he'd have to get rid of those. Since there would be pictures, if we were in uniform (either of us) we'd have to make sure everything was lined up and properly done.

And if we had a sword detail, we'd have to ask people to be in it, and take the time out of their days to do all the work required behind putting on the uniform. Not to mention they would have to get swords if they didn't have them already, study and practice drill...

There is a lot that goes into even the simplest military traditions. If having something specific is important to you, go for it with that knowledge.

Military Traditions in the Wedding

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