RSVP Hell

[Deleted User] · February 2016

ElcaB said:

Our RSVPs were designed as postcards (pre-stamped and labeled, of course). A couple people sent them back in stamped envelopes.

What the WHAT???

Gustafson28 · February 2016

We did it so their name was already on the card and each invited guest on the card could indicate if they were coming or not with a check mark. Made it pretty easy to see and keep track of.

indigo26 · February 2016

So for everyone numbering their RSVP cards I have a question - why not just write the family/couple's names on the card to begin with before sending it out? Is it against etiquette to do this? Just curious.

pinupbride6189 · February 2016

indigo26 said:

So for everyone numbering their RSVP cards I have a question - why not just write the family/couple's names on the card to begin with before sending it out? Is it against etiquette to do this? Just curious.

My guess would be that this isn't wrong technically, but if it's say, a couple or a family, and you write everyone's name in ahead of time, and only one person can attend, you still have to call to find out who is actually coming.

Knottie1454041162 · February 2016

My brother had received an RSVP on his doorstep the night before the wedding. Some creepy neighbors of our parents rang the bell and left. The best part was that they showed up and did not bring a gift or card.

floridabride44 · February 2016

Knottie1454041162 said:

My brother had received an RSVP on his doorstep the night before the wedding. Some creepy neighbors of our parents rang the bell and left. The best part was that they showed up and did not bring a gift or card.

Wedding guests are not required to bring gifts. The fact that you're judging these people on the fact that they didn't bring a gift is pretty sad.

[Deleted User] · February 2016

Knottie1454041162 said:

My brother had received an RSVP on his doorstep the night before the wedding. Some creepy neighbors of our parents rang the bell and left. The best part was that they showed up and did not bring a gift or card.

So your brother and his partner never called this couple to find out if they were coming? Just left them in limbo until the day before the wedding? Interesting.

ShesSoCold · February 2016

indigo26 said:

So for everyone numbering their RSVP cards I have a question - why not just write the family/couple's names on the card to begin with before sending it out? Is it against etiquette to do this? Just curious.

I only sent out like 20 invitations, but I wrote the return address on the RSVP cards for everyone so I'd know who the RSVP was coming from and so they wouldn't have to. Seemed just as easy as it would have been to number then and the record what number was who.

madamerwin · February 2016

pinupbride6189 said:

indigo26 said:

So for everyone numbering their RSVP cards I have a question - why not just write the family/couple's names on the card to begin with before sending it out? Is it against etiquette to do this? Just curious.

My guess would be that this isn't wrong technically, but if it's say, a couple or a family, and you write everyone's name in ahead of time, and only one person can attend, you still have to call to find out who is actually coming.

This is why we numbered instead of writing names - we invited quite a few families, and we wanted to make sure they could write in which members were coming, if they could not all make it.

kmmssg · February 2016

lnixon8 said:

I had 14 people not RSVP- many of them I had never met, all on FMIL side (20 minutes away from us but we still never see them). I asked for phone numbers and FMIL said she would call. In what I consider a freakishly short time (less than 48 hours)heard back "they all rsvp yes". Guess who had a completely empty table of 12?

OMG heads would roll. I am SO glad all of my girls picked great MIL's because I would have said something that would have mentioned how much I paid per person for her 12 friends who said they were coming. Heads.Would.Roll.

MyNameIsNot · February 2016

indigo26 said:

So for everyone numbering their RSVP cards I have a question - why not just write the family/couple's names on the card to begin with before sending it out? Is it against etiquette to do this? Just curious.

Not against etiquette, just time consuming. You can grab a pencil and write small numbers on the bottom of RSVP cards a lot faster than going through and writing out the names of each guest in nice penmanship.

lembaslover · February 2016

madamerwin said:

pinupbride6189 said:

indigo26 said:

So for everyone numbering their RSVP cards I have a question - why not just write the family/couple's names on the card to begin with before sending it out? Is it against etiquette to do this? Just curious.

My guess would be that this isn't wrong technically, but if it's say, a couple or a family, and you write everyone's name in ahead of time, and only one person can attend, you still have to call to find out who is actually coming.

This is why we numbered instead of writing names - we invited quite a few families, and we wanted to make sure they could write in which members were coming, if they could not all make it.

I wrote in the names of each of the guests so there was no question who was invited. I only sent out like 30 invites so it didn't take me too long, if I'd been sending out like 50 or more I'd probably have opted for the numbering. I think there were 2 cases where not all of the guests weren't coming in which case they just wrote a note like It'll just be Sally, Bob can't make it.

EDT for missing word

APDSS22 · February 2016

marriedhamstermom said:

madamerwin said:

pinupbride6189 said:

indigo26 said:

So for everyone numbering their RSVP cards I have a question - why not just write the family/couple's names on the card to begin with before sending it out? Is it against etiquette to do this? Just curious.

My guess would be that this isn't wrong technically, but if it's say, a couple or a family, and you write everyone's name in ahead of time, and only one person can attend, you still have to call to find out who is actually coming.

This is why we numbered instead of writing names - we invited quite a few families, and we wanted to make sure they could write in which members were coming, if they could not all make it.

I wrote in the names of each of the guests so there was no question who was invited. I only sent out like 30 invites so it didn't take me too long, if I'd been sending out like 50 or more I'd probably have opted for the numbering. I think there were 2 cases where not all of the guests weren't coming in which case they just wrote a note like It'll just be Sally, Bob can't make it.

EDT for missing word

Yeah we invited over a hundred people and I had to do all the handwriting on the invitations myself because my husband's handwriting is just not at all legible. Little numbers on the back of the RSVP card were just easier to do for me.

DarthV8r · February 2016

I just received an RSVP card. On the side of the entrees they wrote in "Budweiser and a carne asada burrito with sour cream and cheese". Kinda funny. I might fulfill the request for this person. It must be a dietary restriction.

missfrodo · February 2016

I was pretty lucky with my RSVPs in that I think everyone or almost everyone sent theirs back with names--I think maybe DH had to call a friend or two of his that he hadn't heard back from.
We had an interesting invitation system for his Filipino side, though--per his family's instructions, we basically sent one invitation to his whole Filipino side (mostly in China or the Philippines) and they would contact his mother or him as to whether or not they could make it. This seemed really chaotic to me, as we could have had anywhere from 2-50 guests arriving from out-of-country and no paper RSVPs, but I wanted to respect his family's wishes/traditions/plus he basically said it's difficult to deal with mail up in the mountains where most of them live. Turns out no one from that side could make it (it's not cheap to fly to or from the Philippines, and it takes about a whole day to travel one way), which was disappointing, but it meant we had lots of space at the reception (I'd found a place big enough for everyone to attend if they could). Just means I get to take a trip to visit them all someday!

lnixon8 · February 2016

kmmssg said:

lnixon8 said:

I had 14 people not RSVP- many of them I had never met, all on FMIL side (20 minutes away from us but we still never see them). I asked for phone numbers and FMIL said she would call. In what I consider a freakishly short time (less than 48 hours)heard back "they all rsvp yes". Guess who had a completely empty table of 12?

OMG heads would roll. I am SO glad all of my girls picked great MIL's because I would have said something that would have mentioned how much I paid per person for her 12 friends who said they were coming. Heads.Would.Roll.

Yeah... because we got married on family property and had to rent every.little thing. sperately (dance floor, napkins, chairs, utensils, tent, fans, food) it's not as cut and dry as $100 dollars a plate.

That was the least of my in law issues (SILs bf now husband went on drunken rampage that involved punching H, and other SIL's husband in the face, stealing a bottle of gray goose after he had been dragged out already).The next day FIL gave us 1400 (cash!) to basically not kill everyone

Knottie1436436203 · February 2016

RSVPs are painful. Seriously, I only invited like 15 families. I had one that just never responded, then my mother decided this week that she is coming,then I had 2 families RSVP and now all of a sudden neither husband is coming.

MobKaz · February 2016

missfrodo said:

I was pretty lucky with my RSVPs in that I think everyone or almost everyone sent theirs back with names--I think maybe DH had to call a friend or two of his that he hadn't heard back from.
We had an interesting invitation system for his Filipino side, though--per his family's instructions, we basically sent one invitation to his whole Filipino side (mostly in China or the Philippines) and they would contact his mother or him as to whether or not they could make it. This seemed really chaotic to me, as we could have had anywhere from 2-50 guests arriving from out-of-country and no paper RSVPs, but I wanted to respect his family's wishes/traditions/plus he basically said it's difficult to deal with mail up in the mountains where most of them live. Turns out no one from that side could make it (it's not cheap to fly to or from the Philippines, and it takes about a whole day to travel one way), which was disappointing, but it meant we had lots of space at the reception (I'd found a place big enough for everyone to attend if they could). Just means I get to take a trip to visit them all someday!

My DIL asked me to do something similar as well. Many family members live in Guyana . She said the mail service is very inconsistent. She urged us to email/evite guests that lived there to assure receipt of the invitation.

[Deleted User] · February 2016

**stuck in box**
Our RSVP date was Friday and we made calls on Saturday. We had people ask if there was a second deadline, people make excuses about dead husbands not leaving them money to attend, and biological parents respond via text following a phone call saying they would not come. Gotta love RSVPs!

Regardless, I can't wait to see those who are looking forward to witnessing our union and enjoying an evening with us. I am so glad this RSVP Hell is over for me. **KNOCKS ON WOOD**

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