Divorced parents vs. Married parents?

LadyCatherineDB · February 2017

I recommend honoring parents with corsages and boutonnieres. Perhaps you could also include something in your ceremony about the role models you had in your parents.

MandyMost · February 2017

I think my mom felt super honored and included in "my day". (My father has passed, or else i'm sure it would have been both of my parents). I think these are the biggest things that contributed to that:

Kept her updated on the wedding planning. Asked her advice on things and sometimes even took her advice. :-)
Invited her to my fittings, and let her know I really valued her company and opinions
Made sure she knew she could wear whatever dress she wanted to and felt comfortable in, and also shopped with her because she wanted my help
Helped her to get a hotel room that she wanted, and organized her transportation for the day, including her best friends so she wouldn't feel alone (since my father isn't there). Essentially, made sure that starting around noon the day before the wedding through the morning after the wedding she didn't have a thing to worry about, and could just enjoy herself.
Got some great pictures of us
Gave her an honored seat at the table at the rehearsal dinner, and gave her a thoughtful gift and handwritten card about how thankful I am for her
Had her escorted into the ceremony before the processional (or really, at the start of the processional...we didn't have much of a processional), by an escort of her choosing.
Gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug before the ceremony started, and handed her my flowers for the vows.
Did the seating chart so she was sitting with people of her choosing
Had wedding pictures of our parents and grandparents at the reception space (on the table with the escort cards, I think).

lyndausvi · February 2017

Late to the game. My parents 40th was the day after my wedding. MIL is twice divorced, no FIL in the picture. We played my parent's wedding song at the reception. Not a spotlight dance, but just a song that they knew was special, but all the other couples danced to also.

The next day they went to a restaurant for dinner. We had already arranged with the restaurant to pick up the tab. Again, no fan fare, just something we did in private.

My SIL got married on our 6th wedding anniversary. They also played our wedding song. The MC did mention our anniversary, but the floor was open to everyone. It wasn't a spotlight dance for only us.

MobKaz · February 2017

CMGragain said:

akduffield said:

Our wedding is December 2nd, 2017 and my parent's anniversary is on december 21st. They will have be married for 43 years but my fiancé's parents got divorced over 7 years ago. I saw a video online of a couple honoring both parents at their wedding with a surprise vowel renewal and it just broke my heart. I'd love to do something like this for my parents but I don't want to offend or hurt his parents, namely his Mom. (She made comments this weekend during planning that his Dad "better not bring his girlfriend to this personal family affair".) So, I know she's already bracing for the uncomfortable moments. Do you guys have any idea of how I can honor all the parents, or at least honor our parents in different ways (like mine being married for that long, I'd love to surprise them with a vow renewal) so as to not offend his parents or hurt anyone's feelings? Thank you so much!

I have been married for 40 years. I can tell you that I would be extremely upset if my children should include a vow renewal for us in their wedding plans, especially if I was not in on it.

Not everyone is a fan of vow renewals. I was married "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death us do part." My vows that I said 40 years ago are still valid. They do not need renewing. I feel very strongly about this and I know other people who feel the same.

I don't mind if other people want to have a vow renewal, but it should be their idea, not yours. IMHO, your wedding is not the place for your parents to have a vow renewal, if they would even want one. Please do not do this.

I'm currently "in" at 39 years. I, too, would have absolutely hated if my DD had pulled this stunt at her wedding. I am going to guess that this is the video you caught. I honestly thought that the parents, particularly the couple in black clothing, looked incredibly uncomfortable. The deacon made mention that this was an unprecedented request for him. I can understand why. It was not the bride's place to request this, regardless of good intention.
http://www.everythinginspirational.com/surprise-vow-renewal-daughters-wedding/

aurianna · February 2017

I'm side-tracking here but I'm sad that FMiL said that about FFiL's girlfriend.
You're definitely seating his parents at different tables from each other, right? Possibly with tables in between?

Divorced parents vs. Married parents?

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