Dear Prudence,
I am a teacher at a private religious high school with a relatively formal staff culture. I have just become engaged to my long-term boyfriend (he’s quite a bit older than me), who used to teach at this school about three years ago. While he worked at the school, he was married. We started a relationship after he left the school and got divorced. None of the students are aware of our relationship and neither are most of the staff, with the exception of my close friends. Now that I’m wearing an engagement ring (plus I’m taking time off work for the wedding), I expect people, especially students, will want to know more details, starting with my fiancé’s name. Other teachers who have gotten engaged have gotten tons of questions and have enthusiastically discussed appropriate details with their students, so that’s OK. But my situation is a little more complicated. Do I tell them my fiancé is “Mr. Lopez,” whom they all know? Do I make up a fake name? His first name is pretty unusual, and I think they would guess who I was talking about if I used it. I’m worried it will be an unprofessional overshare if I admit I’m marrying their former teacher, whom they would remember as a much older married man. Am I overthinking this?