Wedding Woes

This is the person for whom online therapy could help.

Hi,

There’s a lot of shit just from 2017 that I could talk about, but I’ll limit this to my work life and mental health.

I was fired earlier this year, and my depression has gotten a lot worse this year as well. The job sucked—it was a full-time office gig, but I had to split my time between multiple locations, and I had to work every weekend despite multiple pleas for a new schedule each time a Monday-Friday position opened up within the company. No one in my life had the same schedule as me, so I couldn’t really be social on my days off, and I was the only staffer scheduled for weekends, so I was basically totally alone on those days too. My Depression got worse largely because of my work life, and my depression affected my ability to do my job.

Six weeks later I finally got a new, better job. The pay is a little better, the commute is easier, and I finally have weekends off, so I can have a life. BUT it’s a temp-to-perm position, and no one has really given me any indication of if/when the perm part will happen. The employee I replaced left kind of in a hurry (but not on bad terms) and definitely didn’t do a thorough job of explaining my duties, so there’s been a lot of catching up. I only trained with her for two days before she left.

Despite that, she was extremely well-liked, and I’ve been feeling like I am... not. On her last day I heard so much about how people were going to miss her outgoing and bubbly personality, and when I’ve reviewed with supervisors, the only negative feedback I received was that they weren’t seeing that in me. But it’s just been so hard to force myself to be that way with how I’ve been feeling. Aside from small talk, most people here don’t really talk to me that much. And now, this week, I keep hearing bits and pieces of information about a party one of my coworkers is throwing and like... clearly the invites already went out. Maybe it’s dumb to be offended but I’ve been here a while. I feel like it’s a cycle—I’m not feeling well enough to be outgoing, so they don’t want to talk to me, so I feel even worse, etc.

I’m so anxious and overwhelmed all the time. I’m worried that I won’t be hired here because they want a clone of the person I replaced. Will I ever stop feeling like this? Am I just a mediocre baby who doesn’t know how to be a person?

Sincerely,

Tired of Crying in the Bathroom Like a Weirdo

Re: This is the person for whom online therapy could help.

  • So, is this person receiving treatment for their depression and anxiety? Because the issue here isn't their work circumstances...
    I'm going to guess no since they've had job issues and are currently temp-to-hire.  That's why online talk therapy could bridge the gap for them until they do have coverage to see someone.  They can find a coupon code for that type of stuff too, which makes it even cheaper than it normally is (I think Talk Space is advertised as being $1/day). 
    short+sassycharlotte989875
  • They should talk to their placement agency.  Those are the people who would best know or could best intercede about the placement becoming permanent.  I actually worked for a placement agency...as in worked directly for them...and we had some jobs that were called "temp to perm".  But really, it was a set-up where the position was perm., but the employee would always be working through the agency.  However, people knew that up front.  Our typical temp.-to perm. was 4 months, but it wasn't unusual for it to be longer.

    So, on that part, the LW might be worrying over nothing.

    She needs to work on her social avenues outside of the office.  As long as people are polite and nice to her, and it sounds like they are, sometimes that is the best you can hope for.

    Though, this letter does it a sore spot with me.  At my previous job, one of my coworkers threw a blow-out Superbowl party.  Everyone, in our office of only 18 people, was invited except for me and two others.  I was surprised how deeply it hurt my feelings.  And it wasn't a situation, like we often advise to brides, where invites were given...but word was kept low in the work place.  Oh, hell no!  People were talking about almost nothing else for the week leading up to the party.  On the day after, one of the coworkers decorated the outside of her door with party pics. 

    As an aside, I found out months later why I wasn't invited.  How is this for some jr. high s**t.  There were 6 women in that office.  She was BFF's with two of them.  One of the BFF's asked her not to invite the other 3 of us because she was a little jealous and didn't want Party Coworker to socialize with us outside of work.  I never let it interfere with work, but I resented both of those women for the rest of the time I worked there.   

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    charlotte989875
  • I've never heard of online therapy - is it like using Live chat from a shopping site but for therapy? 

    This person definitely needs to start seeing someone about the depression and anxiety or other issues she is facing. Otherwise i think she will keep switching jobs and always blaming the job or environment rather than looking inward. 
    eileenrob
  • kvruns said:
    I've never heard of online therapy - is it like using Live chat from a shopping site but for therapy? 

    This person definitely needs to start seeing someone about the depression and anxiety or other issues she is facing. Otherwise i think she will keep switching jobs and always blaming the job or environment rather than looking inward. 

    I've only heard of it recently because of Talk Space commercials.  I'm assuming it is Skype'ing with a therapist, but don't know for sure.  Seems like a great idea for people who are on a budget and/or have difficult schedules.

    Though I would sincerely hope the therapists are thoroughly vetted by the online companies and are actual psychologists/licensed therapists.  I would hope they don't just hire randos.

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    charlotte989875
  • TalkSpace is one of the most common online counseling app but a lot of stand alone counselors will do it too. There’s a few ways it works 1) you can Skype/FaceTime through the app (real time convo); 2) you can video message (you send a video message, they send one back); text based through the app so you respond when you can, they respond when they can; 3) a combo of these things. 

    I used it last fall (the texting option on TalkSpace) when we had moved and H was really miserable about work & I was first realizing the Ohio move/job wasn’t working out how we thought. It was great to just have an outside outlet to get feedback on how to manage things. Definitely recommend. 
    MesmrEweshort+sassy
  • I would definitely have liked something like that, I had no idea it existed
    charlotte989875MesmrEwe
  • TalkSpace is one of the most common online counseling app but a lot of stand alone counselors will do it too. There’s a few ways it works 1) you can Skype/FaceTime through the app (real time convo); 2) you can video message (you send a video message, they send one back); text based through the app so you respond when you can, they respond when they can; 3) a combo of these things. 

    I used it last fall (the texting option on TalkSpace) when we had moved and H was really miserable about work & I was first realizing the Ohio move/job wasn’t working out how we thought. It was great to just have an outside outlet to get feedback on how to manage things. Definitely recommend. 
    This - though there are far more "secure" programs out there than FaceTime and Skype...  I've got several colleagues who use this program because it's just not practical for certain clients to come in to the office and even for the practitioner it's "easier" because they don't necessarily need to be in the office itself either to do the session.  The work doesn't change just because it's not in the same room with the client.  There are some logistical differences, but that's it.  There are some who don't like it, but the reality is our society/world is changing, and this work is a business so it's the need to adapt to the generations coming up, so some are choosing to go this route because "Meet the client where THEY are at" - in this case, literally!  
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    missJeanLouiseshort+sassy
  • When I was getting my masters in counseling this was a new thing, and there was discussion about if it was/wasn't helpful. Obviously there are situations in which this would be invaluable to someone, and other situations where someone would not benefit and not try a different approach (like group or true face to face). I'm still on the fence, but I hope that technology can improve to dispel some of the fears I have there and allow people to get the help they need. I believe in my state license there is also limits put on what percentage of the counseling can be out of office.... but I have also been out of the counseling world for a few years a lot can change in that time regarding this. 
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    MesmrEweshort+sassy
  • This person says she is suffering from depression.  Therapy alone probably won't help her.  She needs a doctor's care as well as a therapist.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    re: online therapy. I used talkspace for about 6 months. In all honesty, it's more money than the face to face sessions I have (at least with our insurance plan we have) but the convenience is there.  You can pay for an unlimited number of texts and I think a skype or two session/per week.  However, even if you text and text and text there's no guarantee someone is on the other end.  I purchased the cheapest package which was a response a day (I could write as many times as i wanted).

    Great for people with no insurance or don't have the time to go to a face to face session.  I dropped my pkg early because my therapist went on maternity leave and I didn't really connect with the new person.   I don't know if I would do it again, not with the good insurance co-pays we have.

    MesmrEwe
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