Receiving Line Standoff - Who's Right?

flantastic · May 2018

ernursej said:

If the parents aren't hosting, they don't have to be part of the receiving line. That would also shorten the process.

Agree. The people who really want to chat with your parents will easily find a way to do so.

NBSquared2017 · May 2018

@ernursej + @flantastic - both of our parents are hosting...BP was excited that they did not have to participate in the receiving line!

MairePoppy · May 2018

I just noticed your comment about bringing a sandwich platter for the wp to snack on during the recieving line. I don't really think it's necessary for food to be provided during the receiving line. If the original plan was to serve sandwiches to the wp while they were getting ready or during after ceremony pics, there's no need to offer them again. Bottled water and restrooms would be nice.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2018

NBSquared2017 said:

We have 167 guests confirmed, and I think a receiving line is the best way to thank everyone, especially since we have several people who are not attending the reception. FH agrees, but we are now at a standoff.

I think the entire bridal party should be in the receiving line and he thinks that's awkward, and it should just be the two of us and our parents (they are hosting). I think it's rude to thank all the guests and have our BP standing around doing nothing till we take pictures.

Ideal timeline:
Ceremony 3:30-4:00
Receiving line 4:00-4:30
WP Pictures: 4:45-5:00
The Cocktail hour will start at 5:00 there is a 15-minute drive to the reception location and the cocktail hour will start as soon as the first guest arrives
DH/I Pictures 5:00-5:45

What are your thoughts?

Edited to include cocktail hour information

I'm with your FI, no bridal party members in the receiving line.

Number 1- it's awkward AF. I've been a bridesmaid almost 15 times, and every time I had to be in the receiving line I snuck out of it as quickly as possible. I don't know most of your guests, they don't know me, they don't care who I am, and they don't want to shake my hand and say hello.

Number 2- As a BM I'm not the one hosting this wedding- your parents are- so I don't have any guests to "receive" in the receiving line. Hell, as a BM I'm a guest in a ceremonial role of honor! So don't "honor" me by asking me to be in an awkward and unnecessary position.

Go with your FI on this one, and have a receiving line with just the 2 sets of parents and you and your FI. That's exactly what I did and my WP was so thankful.

Also, I'm with other PPs in that I think your cocktail hour needs to start at 4:15pm or 4:30pm at the latest; Your 1st guests going through the receiving line will be at your venue by 4:30 at the latest and you don't want them to be standing around uncomfortably for 30mins.

Jen4948 · May 2018

banana468 said:

There is no reason to start a cocktail hour at 4PM if it's a 15 minute drive from the ceremony to the reception and the ceremony ends at 4. That's 15 minutes wasted.

OP, you know your family and friends. Our cocktail hour started at 4 or when guests showed up. Our Catholic ceremony was at 2. Our long winded priest made the mass over an hour and the milling around made the cocktails start a bit before 4 PM. It worked out and they were ready for us. No big deal.

That said, I wouldn't tell your venue to start something when the laws of physics make it impossible to start at that time.

My reason for suggesting that the reception venue be prepared to start it at 4 pm is because guests might skip the receiving line and go straight to the reception venue -- especially if they didn't make it to the ceremony.

Yes, it's rude (or at least unfortunate) if that happens, but I'd be prepared for it.

My brother's wedding venue wasn't ready to start his reception after the ceremony was over, and everyone was crammed into a small, tight area with no seating and no food, for around 45 minutes. Even photos between the ceremony and reception didn't take that long because most of them were taken before the ceremony. This wasn't deliberately planned (I think the venue made a mistake), but it was very unpleasant for everyone.

So I'd be ready to start right away instead of making assumptions that nobody will arrive at the OP's reception venue earlier than 4:15.

banana468 · May 2018

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

There is no reason to start a cocktail hour at 4PM if it's a 15 minute drive from the ceremony to the reception and the ceremony ends at 4. That's 15 minutes wasted.

OP, you know your family and friends. Our cocktail hour started at 4 or when guests showed up. Our Catholic ceremony was at 2. Our long winded priest made the mass over an hour and the milling around made the cocktails start a bit before 4 PM. It worked out and they were ready for us. No big deal.

That said, I wouldn't tell your venue to start something when the laws of physics make it impossible to start at that time.

My reason for suggesting that the reception venue be prepared to start it at 4 pm is because guests might skip the receiving line and go straight to the reception venue -- especially if they didn't make it to the ceremony.

Yes, it's rude (or at least unfortunate) if that happens, but I'd be prepared for it.

My brother's wedding venue wasn't ready to start his reception after the ceremony was over, and everyone was crammed into a small, tight area with no seating and no food, for around 45 minutes. Even photos between the ceremony and reception didn't take that long because most of them were taken before the ceremony. This wasn't deliberately planned (I think the venue made a mistake), but it was very unpleasant for everyone.

So I'd be ready to start right away instead of making assumptions that nobody will arrive at the OP's reception venue earlier than 4:15.

Then they should be prepared for a 4:15 cocktail hour start.

NBSquared2017 · May 2018

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

There is no reason to start a cocktail hour at 4PM if it's a 15 minute drive from the ceremony to the reception and the ceremony ends at 4. That's 15 minutes wasted.

OP, you know your family and friends. Our cocktail hour started at 4 or when guests showed up. Our Catholic ceremony was at 2. Our long winded priest made the mass over an hour and the milling around made the cocktails start a bit before 4 PM. It worked out and they were ready for us. No big deal.

That said, I wouldn't tell your venue to start something when the laws of physics make it impossible to start at that time.

My reason for suggesting that the reception venue be prepared to start it at 4 pm is because guests might skip the receiving line and go straight to the reception venue -- especially if they didn't make it to the ceremony.

Yes, it's rude (or at least unfortunate) if that happens, but I'd be prepared for it.

My brother's wedding venue wasn't ready to start his reception after the ceremony was over, and everyone was crammed into a small, tight area with no seating and no food, for around 45 minutes. Even photos between the ceremony and reception didn't take that long because most of them were taken before the ceremony. This wasn't deliberately planned (I think the venue made a mistake), but it was very unpleasant for everyone.

So I'd be ready to start right away instead of making assumptions that nobody will arrive at the OP's reception venue earlier than 4:15.

Then they should be prepared for a 4:15 cocktail hour start.

Unfortunately, that is not possible as there is a morning event at the reception venue. My venue allows for a 2-hour flip, so the cocktail hour can't start until about 4:45.

There is a foyer space where the guests can get their favors and grab a drink, but the food service can't start until the guests get into the ballroom.

Edited: grammar is hard

charlotte989875 · May 2018

NBSquared2017 said:

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

There is no reason to start a cocktail hour at 4PM if it's a 15 minute drive from the ceremony to the reception and the ceremony ends at 4. That's 15 minutes wasted.

OP, you know your family and friends. Our cocktail hour started at 4 or when guests showed up. Our Catholic ceremony was at 2. Our long winded priest made the mass over an hour and the milling around made the cocktails start a bit before 4 PM. It worked out and they were ready for us. No big deal.

That said, I wouldn't tell your venue to start something when the laws of physics make it impossible to start at that time.

My reason for suggesting that the reception venue be prepared to start it at 4 pm is because guests might skip the receiving line and go straight to the reception venue -- especially if they didn't make it to the ceremony.

Yes, it's rude (or at least unfortunate) if that happens, but I'd be prepared for it.

My brother's wedding venue wasn't ready to start his reception after the ceremony was over, and everyone was crammed into a small, tight area with no seating and no food, for around 45 minutes. Even photos between the ceremony and reception didn't take that long because most of them were taken before the ceremony. This wasn't deliberately planned (I think the venue made a mistake), but it was very unpleasant for everyone.

So I'd be ready to start right away instead of making assumptions that nobody will arrive at the OP's reception venue earlier than 4:15.

Then they should be prepared for a 4:15 cocktail hour start.

Unfortunately, that is not possible as there is a morning event at the reception venue. My venue allows for a 2-hour flip, so the cocktail hour can't start until about 4:45.

There is a foyer space where the guests can get their favors and grab a drink, but the food service can't start until the guests get into the ballroom.

Edited: grammar is hard

I think that's fine; people are still being hosted (just not with food, yet) and as long as there is a place to sit if they need too I think you're good.

NBSquared2017 · May 2018

charlotte989875 said:

NBSquared2017 said:

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

There is no reason to start a cocktail hour at 4PM if it's a 15 minute drive from the ceremony to the reception and the ceremony ends at 4. That's 15 minutes wasted.

OP, you know your family and friends. Our cocktail hour started at 4 or when guests showed up. Our Catholic ceremony was at 2. Our long winded priest made the mass over an hour and the milling around made the cocktails start a bit before 4 PM. It worked out and they were ready for us. No big deal.

That said, I wouldn't tell your venue to start something when the laws of physics make it impossible to start at that time.

My reason for suggesting that the reception venue be prepared to start it at 4 pm is because guests might skip the receiving line and go straight to the reception venue -- especially if they didn't make it to the ceremony.

Yes, it's rude (or at least unfortunate) if that happens, but I'd be prepared for it.

My brother's wedding venue wasn't ready to start his reception after the ceremony was over, and everyone was crammed into a small, tight area with no seating and no food, for around 45 minutes. Even photos between the ceremony and reception didn't take that long because most of them were taken before the ceremony. This wasn't deliberately planned (I think the venue made a mistake), but it was very unpleasant for everyone.

So I'd be ready to start right away instead of making assumptions that nobody will arrive at the OP's reception venue earlier than 4:15.

Then they should be prepared for a 4:15 cocktail hour start.

Unfortunately, that is not possible as there is a morning event at the reception venue. My venue allows for a 2-hour flip, so the cocktail hour can't start until about 4:45.

There is a foyer space where the guests can get their favors and grab a drink, but the food service can't start until the guests get into the ballroom.

Edited: grammar is hard

I think that's fine; people are still being hosted (just not with food, yet) and as long as there is a place to sit if they need too I think you're good.

There is plenty of seating! There is also a lounge area that has additional couches for guests to sit!

banana468 · May 2018

charlotte989875 said:

NBSquared2017 said:

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

There is no reason to start a cocktail hour at 4PM if it's a 15 minute drive from the ceremony to the reception and the ceremony ends at 4. That's 15 minutes wasted.

OP, you know your family and friends. Our cocktail hour started at 4 or when guests showed up. Our Catholic ceremony was at 2. Our long winded priest made the mass over an hour and the milling around made the cocktails start a bit before 4 PM. It worked out and they were ready for us. No big deal.

That said, I wouldn't tell your venue to start something when the laws of physics make it impossible to start at that time.

My reason for suggesting that the reception venue be prepared to start it at 4 pm is because guests might skip the receiving line and go straight to the reception venue -- especially if they didn't make it to the ceremony.

Yes, it's rude (or at least unfortunate) if that happens, but I'd be prepared for it.

My brother's wedding venue wasn't ready to start his reception after the ceremony was over, and everyone was crammed into a small, tight area with no seating and no food, for around 45 minutes. Even photos between the ceremony and reception didn't take that long because most of them were taken before the ceremony. This wasn't deliberately planned (I think the venue made a mistake), but it was very unpleasant for everyone.

So I'd be ready to start right away instead of making assumptions that nobody will arrive at the OP's reception venue earlier than 4:15.

Then they should be prepared for a 4:15 cocktail hour start.

Unfortunately, that is not possible as there is a morning event at the reception venue. My venue allows for a 2-hour flip, so the cocktail hour can't start until about 4:45.

There is a foyer space where the guests can get their favors and grab a drink, but the food service can't start until the guests get into the ballroom.

Edited: grammar is hard

I think that's fine; people are still being hosted (just not with food, yet) and as long as there is a place to sit if they need too I think you're good.

Agreed. You may know your crowd better but in my family it's not possible to have a quick scoot from an event like that. You need to mill in front of cars for at least 10 minutes to talk about how you're going to talk to each other in 15 minutes.

Receiving Line Standoff - Who's Right?

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