Dear Prudence,
A month ago, my estranged younger brother texted me to say he was separating from his wife, V, and needed a place to stay while he got his finances sorted out. Our parents live elsewhere, so I’m the only one he could turn to. I said of course and didn’t ask any questions. We stopped speaking a few years ago because of V’s behavior and her possessive nature. She’s cold and distant, and she would forbid him from attending any and all family events. I advised him to leave her, it didn’t go over well, and we hadn’t really spoken since.
Because of this history, I haven’t asked him why the relationship ended. I think he might worry that I’m trying to say, “I told you so.” He’s been avoiding me, coming home long after I’m asleep, and rushing out the door every morning. I can understand that he wants to keep his distance, but I’m worried. This was my brother’s first relationship, and V was his whole world. I’m sure he’s devastated and needs to talk. V pressured him into ending his friendships, and he doesn’t have much of a support system. How can I get him to open up to me, or at the very least, seek out a therapist?
Also, he’s currently sleeping in the spare room—which I need to start converting into a nursery. I’m four months along so we have time yet but how long do I give him? How do I gently press on how long he plans to stay here or if he needs help with money? I don’t want him to think I want to kick him out. If I weren’t pregnant and feeling the urge to nest, I wouldn’t be in such a rush.
—Would-Be Fence Mender