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I need to know the content of these "creepy" posts.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,

I live in a small two-bedroom cottage in the same town as my parents. During the holidays, my bedroom and living room always have guests, and for the past few years these have mostly been my sister and her college-age daughter. I was alerted by another family member that my niece has been insulting me and my home online. I was “Aunt Creepy” for having a doll collection and old antiques in my home. She put up pictures of my home to make fun of it. I emailed my sister telling her I was upset and didn’t want either of them in my home again. My sister made her daughter apologize but still is upset because I will not have them back. My brother and his family stay with our parents; I told my sister she can rent a hotel room. Now I am the one ruining the holidays. My niece was cruel, and I do not want her under my roof again. I was in tears over her insults to me; her apology was forced. My sister acts like she is a child rather than a young adult. How do I deal with this without it escalating? My parents are very elderly.

—Unwelcome Guests
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Re: I need to know the content of these "creepy" posts.

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    banana468banana468 member
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    You're upset with your sister over the actions of her child? 

    I can completely understand being hurt but why are you punishing the sister over the actions of her daughter?   

    Also, why jump immediately to "Now you're not welcome in my home??"  The daughter is developing her own opinions and while in completely poor taste LW needs a thicker skin about how young adults feel about antique decorations and dolls.   

    As far as, "How do I deal with this without it escalating?" exactly what does the LW want?  She decided that rather than talk about the matter over decorations her sister (someone who had nothing to do with this) and the daughter are now not welcome in her home.   So the LW escalated it!   You go back to sis and tell her that you understand that sis is not responsible for her daughter's opinions, her home is her own personal taste and you then sit down with the niece and share your feelings like grown adults.  

    LW can't have it both ways.   You can't punish mom for the actions of her child in one sentence and then say that the child is an adult in the next one.   
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    ^^^ All of that. 

    Also, why freak out and start banning people from your house?  Since her niece is a young adult, why not use it as a teaching moment?  

    LW is responsible for ruining the holidays because she overreacted to some social media bullshit.  
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    banana468banana468 member
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    mrsconn23 said:
    ^^^ All of that. 

    Also, why freak out and start banning people from your house?  Since her niece is a young adult, why not use it as a teaching moment?  

    LW is responsible for ruining the holidays because she overreacted to some social media bullshit.  
    Exactly.  LW wants to play the victim here but she IS the reason that this happened all over something that is pretty timid.

    And she doesn't get to play the "I don't want to escalate it" card.   

    My hunch is that LW is upset that the rest of the family aren't going to her defense.   Sorry honey but most grown adults know that you can only control the actions of dolls - not humans. 
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    Ro041Ro041 member
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    edited October 2018
    mrsconn23 said:
    Dear Prudence,

    I live in a small two-bedroom cottage in the same town as my parents. During the holidays, my bedroom and living room always have guests, and for the past few years these have mostly been my sister and her college-age daughter. I was alerted by another family member that my niece has been insulting me and my home online. I was “Aunt Creepy” for having a doll collection and old antiques in my home. She put up pictures of my home to make fun of it. I emailed my sister telling her I was upset and didn’t want either of them in my home again. My sister made her daughter apologize but still is upset because I will not have them back. My brother and his family stay with our parents; I told my sister she can rent a hotel room. Now I am the one ruining the holidays. My niece was cruel, and I do not want her under my roof again. I was in tears over her insults to me; her apology was forced. My sister acts like she is a child rather than a young adult. How do I deal with this without it escalating? My parents are very elderly.

    —Unwelcome Guests
    And you want to punish one adult for the behavior or another adult.  Which is it - is she an adult and responsible or a child who has a parent ultimately responsible for her behavior?

    Tbh, I wouldn't let her in my house again.  Maybe I am petty but *shrug*.  I wouldn't punish my sister though.

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    banana468banana468 member
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    thisismynickname2 said:
    I'm with the LW. She's hurt. Her sister and niece are not entitled to stay at her home. And you can't ban the young adult niece and not the sister too; they're a package deal still. 
    The teachable moment is that niece gets to learn that actions have consequences. Don't insult family and still reap benefits of said family's generosity. 
    She's playing both sides though.

    Mom can say that she can't travel without her niece.   But that doesn't mean that they ARE a package deal just like they aren't for weddings.   

    If niece is not remorseful and doesn't see the ramifications of her actions after a discussion I could agree - niece is not welcome.   And that MAY mean that mom doesn't go because her daughter isn't welcome.  But that's a choice that mom should make.   Sister is calling her niece a grown up in one sentence and in the second she's in her mom's papoose?? 

    Sorry - she needs to make up her mind here.   


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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    ShesSoCold said:
    thisismynickname2 said:
    I'm with the LW. She's hurt. Her sister and niece are not entitled to stay at her home. And you can't ban the young adult niece and not the sister too; they're a package deal still. 
    The teachable moment is that niece gets to learn that actions have consequences. Don't insult family and still reap benefits of said family's generosity. 
    I agree with this. You're not going to insult my home and be invited back. Where you stay for the holidays is no longer my problem. 
    I guess my thoughts are, "I need to know more about this relationship dynamic."   IF the relationship has always been contentious, then yeah...I see why LW went straight to banning them from her house. 

    If this is the first time the niece has ever done something like this and has never been disrespectful or rude to LW, then I think the better route is to say that her feelings were hurt and why.  College-age kids do dumb shit and in this instance, niece got caught and needs to know that actions have consequences...but if they've always had a decent relationship, I think leveling with her (and LW's sister) would have been the better way to go.  
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    banana468banana468 member
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    mrsconn23 said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    thisismynickname2 said:
    I'm with the LW. She's hurt. Her sister and niece are not entitled to stay at her home. And you can't ban the young adult niece and not the sister too; they're a package deal still. 
    The teachable moment is that niece gets to learn that actions have consequences. Don't insult family and still reap benefits of said family's generosity. 
    I agree with this. You're not going to insult my home and be invited back. Where you stay for the holidays is no longer my problem. 
    I guess my thoughts are, "I need to know more about this relationship dynamic."   IF the relationship has always been contentious, then yeah...I see why LW went straight to banning them from her house. 

    If this is the first time the niece has ever done something like this and has never been disrespectful or rude to LW, then I think the better route is to say that her feelings were hurt and why.  College-age kids do dumb shit and in this instance, niece got caught and needs to know that actions have consequences...but if they've always had a decent relationship, I think leveling with her (and LW's sister) would have been the better way to go.  
    And if this is a pattern of behavior then that needs to be stated.   If it's one incident then I feel like handling the incident rather than outright banning is what you do.


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    flantasticflantastic member
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    To me, LW seems like she's not reacting proportionally.

    Either she already has a little defensiveness about traits/collection that the daughter references, and so it exploded over this, or it's a pattern of disrespect, and so it exploded over this.

    Or, what the daughter said was really bad.

    She's allowed to ban the daughter, and yeah, no one's entitled to stay in your home for the holidays anyway. Sister needs to back off on the entitlement. But I feel it's more likely than not that this isn't quite a proportional reaction.
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    ei34ei34 member
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    What adds a tricky layer for me is the fact that niece put it on social media for all to see- it’s not like she whispered something to someone who blabbed.  At some point some young adults learn that your digital footprint can get you into trouble, I don’t think the consequence was unfair.  If LW is still upset maybe the forced apology wasn’t good enough, or maybe she just doesn’t like the feeling that home, which she opens up to family every year, was made fun of.  
    Adding this in myself but maybe LW feels taken advantage of, living near their parents, always playing host.
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    bubblylovebubblylove member
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    I am with LW - the niece was beyond rude about her hospitality, making fun of her for everyone to see. I would not invite her back either. 
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    eileenrob said:
    What adds a tricky layer for me is the fact that niece put it on social media for all to see- it’s not like she whispered something to someone who blabbed.  At some point some young adults learn that your digital footprint can get you into trouble, I don’t think the consequence was unfair.  If LW is still upset maybe the forced apology wasn’t good enough, or maybe she just doesn’t like the feeling that home, which she opens up to family every year, was made fun of.  
    Adding this in myself but maybe LW feels taken advantage of, living near their parents, always playing host.

    This did make the situation exponentially worse for me.  It is such a huge invasion of privacy, that a random stranger could probably figure out exactly who the aunt is and where she lives.  It sounds like a lot of photos and I'm sure the awful niece wasn't careful with what was in the backgrounds.

    Although the niece is the one at fault, if the LW didn't feel her sister had her back...even if she did make her daughter apologize...I can understand not wanting the sister to stay at her home in the future, either. 

    I also think inviting/not inviting just the sister is a moot point, anyway.  I don't think it would matter to the family or to the sister that only the niece is not invited to stay.  They would all still see that as "ruining the holidays".  And apparently it didn't occur to anyone, no matter what happens, that the LW's holidays are going to be sadder because she'll have to see the niece who was so unnecessarily cruel to her. 

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    flantasticflantastic member
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    eileenrob said:
    What adds a tricky layer for me is the fact that niece put it on social media for all to see- it’s not like she whispered something to someone who blabbed.  
    This is true. It's not like the New Girl episode where everyone finds out what their loftmates say about them behind their backs, and LW happened to discover that niece thinks she is/calls her "Aunt Creepy" in her text thread with he cousins. This is a pretty public shaming, which is quite bad, and yeah, the girl isn't sorry.
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    The daughter is college-aged; she’s not a child and she’s not absolved of her actions because she’s young. If someone posted hurtful things about me and my home online, they would not be welcomed back. No discussion. Now if the sister won’t come without the daughter, then the ball is in her court. She can stay somewhere else. She can pay for the daughter to stay elsewhere. Or she can talk to her daughter about consequences and help her see what she did was wrong. 
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    banana468banana468 member
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    Oh, I think the niece is absolutely in the wrong for taking this public.   What I don't know is if this is a case of putting something out on FB and the aunt isn't on it or if it's far more public.

    Niece has a lot of growing up to do; I just don't agree with punishing mom for her daughter's actions.
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    maine7mobmaine7mob member
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    Yes, the niece was cruel, but the LW could have diffused the whole situation and discussed her hurt feelings instead of simply banning her.

    If I were in her shoes, I would also be hurt, but I'd have fun with it by letting the niece stay again and maybe sneaking a creepy doll into her bed in the middle of the night, or having one suddenly "appear" in the bathroom. Then, I hope, they could laugh about it, discuss the unkind social media posts, and arrive at some kind of relationship-salvaging understanding.
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    GBCKGBCK member
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    I kinda want to know how creepy these dolls ARE
    ^not the point, I know
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    GBCK said:
    I kinda want to know how creepy these dolls ARE
    ^not the point, I know
    TBH the first thought I had was of my grandmother's house. It had dolls EVERYWHERE. Literally, the family room alone had 70 dolls. And they ranged in age, so the older ones were extra creepy, especially if they had plastic skin. The skin would turn this green and sickly yellow color. It was horrifying. She moved and had to store most of the dolls but the guest room in her townhome still has a ton of them. Growing up everyone in the family would mention or joke about how creepy the dolls were. My brother and I couldn't sleep without turning all of the dolls so they faced away from the bed when we stayed over. Even though there's not nearly as many dolls, people still don't like the guest room. Sharing the photos on social media was wrong and immature of the niece, but I kind of get the impulse to do it. 


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    banana468banana468 member
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    levioosa said:
    GBCK said:
    I kinda want to know how creepy these dolls ARE
    ^not the point, I know
    TBH the first thought I had was of my grandmother's house. It had dolls EVERYWHERE. Literally, the family room alone had 70 dolls. And they ranged in age, so the older ones were extra creepy, especially if they had plastic skin. The skin would turn this green and sickly yellow color. It was horrifying. She moved and had to store most of the dolls but the guest room in her townhome still has a ton of them. Growing up everyone in the family would mention or joke about how creepy the dolls were. My brother and I couldn't sleep without turning all of the dolls so they faced away from the bed when we stayed over. Even though there's not nearly as many dolls, people still don't like the guest room. Sharing the photos on social media was wrong and immature of the niece, but I kind of get the impulse to do it. 
    That's sort of what I'm thinking too. 

    No, it's not nice to do that, it's beyond dangerous to share photos of the home online, but I just get this image of an older single aunt who now has her tiny "cottage"  lots of dolls that are either porcelain with eyes perpetually open OR that are plastic with the eyes that close only when they lay down and have a perpetual surprised face.   Crocheted doilies on claw foot tables chairs and couches with floral upholstery are against lace curtains to complete the look.  

    Also, I wonder if the family member alerted her to the aunt creepy to be aware of what's online or to nudge LW to think of hiring an interior designer.   

    I also want to know how cruel the niece was that she was in tears.  Is it the message or a thin-skinned recipient? 
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    lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    The daughter is college-aged; she’s not a child and she’s not absolved of her actions because she’s young. If someone posted hurtful things about me and my home online, they would not be welcomed back. No discussion. Now if the sister won’t come without the daughter, then the ball is in her court. She can stay somewhere else. She can pay for the daughter to stay elsewhere. Or she can talk to her daughter about consequences and help her see what she did was wrong. 
    This. She did a really awful thing, and I think I would have banned her too. I don't think she should have banned her sister though. This girl is an adult. I know "college-aged" people (18-22ish) who own businesses and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of equipment, who are married with children, who own their own homes. She is an adult and actions have consequences. And in this day and age, you have to know what you put out on social media is public, and it can come back and bite you. At her age, she's an idiot if she doesn't know that or think about that before posting. 

    I have relatives who have what >I< consider (no accounting for taste and all that) weird homes, and I've stayed there. Yea, I've talked to H or my mom or someone about the drawbacks and what's been annoying about being there, but I don't go posting pictures and calling them "Cousin weirdo" or whatever. 
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    banana468banana468 member
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    short+sassy said:
    banana468 said:
    levioosa said:
    GBCK said:
    I kinda want to know how creepy these dolls ARE
    ^not the point, I know
    TBH the first thought I had was of my grandmother's house. It had dolls EVERYWHERE. Literally, the family room alone had 70 dolls. And they ranged in age, so the older ones were extra creepy, especially if they had plastic skin. The skin would turn this green and sickly yellow color. It was horrifying. She moved and had to store most of the dolls but the guest room in her townhome still has a ton of them. Growing up everyone in the family would mention or joke about how creepy the dolls were. My brother and I couldn't sleep without turning all of the dolls so they faced away from the bed when we stayed over. Even though there's not nearly as many dolls, people still don't like the guest room. Sharing the photos on social media was wrong and immature of the niece, but I kind of get the impulse to do it. 
    That's sort of what I'm thinking too. 

    No, it's not nice to do that, it's beyond dangerous to share photos of the home online, but I just get this image of an older single aunt who now has her tiny "cottage"  lots of dolls that are either porcelain with eyes perpetually open OR that are plastic with the eyes that close only when they lay down and have a perpetual surprised face.   Crocheted doilies on claw foot tables chairs and couches with floral upholstery are against lace curtains to complete the look.  

    Also, I wonder if the family member alerted her to the aunt creepy to be aware of what's online or to nudge LW to think of hiring an interior designer.   

    I also want to know how cruel the niece was that she was in tears.  Is it the message or a thin-skinned recipient? 

    I consider myself a "medium" skinned person and am not especially sensitive.  But I would be extremely hurt to be called Aunt Creepy by my niece or nephew.  Because they are people I love and a name like that would mean to me that they don't even like me, much less love me.  And, while the comment and the hurt from it would diminish over time, it is a memory that would occasionally haunt me.  And I'd feel awkward around them.  Maybe for years, depending on how the relationships progressed.

    I don't even have to know what the comments/pics are, though I'm sure that just makes it even worse.  But the "Aunt Creepy" name alone is enough for it to cross past the "cruel" line.

    Extremely hurt makes complete sense.   In tears?  I guess it takes a lot to make me cry over something personal even though This Is Us does it on a regular basis.

    I'm in no way defending the niece.   I'm questioning why this "you're not welcome in my house".   If niece is an adult why isn't aunt trying to handle it in an adult manner?  

    We had issues with BIL (not public but ones none the less).  DH picked up the phone and talked to his brother.   Words were used to resolve issues.
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    Ro041Ro041 member
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    I think if my 16 year old nephew called me "Aunt Creepy" on social media and posted photos inside my home to make fun of my house, I would probably be in tears.  I don't care if it was on Snapchat, FB, or a personal blog.  Clearly the reach was wide enough that other family members have seen it.  

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    CasadenaCasadena member
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    banana468 said:
    short+sassy said:
    banana468 said:
    levioosa said:
    GBCK said:
    I kinda want to know how creepy these dolls ARE
    ^not the point, I know
    TBH the first thought I had was of my grandmother's house. It had dolls EVERYWHERE. Literally, the family room alone had 70 dolls. And they ranged in age, so the older ones were extra creepy, especially if they had plastic skin. The skin would turn this green and sickly yellow color. It was horrifying. She moved and had to store most of the dolls but the guest room in her townhome still has a ton of them. Growing up everyone in the family would mention or joke about how creepy the dolls were. My brother and I couldn't sleep without turning all of the dolls so they faced away from the bed when we stayed over. Even though there's not nearly as many dolls, people still don't like the guest room. Sharing the photos on social media was wrong and immature of the niece, but I kind of get the impulse to do it. 
    That's sort of what I'm thinking too. 

    No, it's not nice to do that, it's beyond dangerous to share photos of the home online, but I just get this image of an older single aunt who now has her tiny "cottage"  lots of dolls that are either porcelain with eyes perpetually open OR that are plastic with the eyes that close only when they lay down and have a perpetual surprised face.   Crocheted doilies on claw foot tables chairs and couches with floral upholstery are against lace curtains to complete the look.  

    Also, I wonder if the family member alerted her to the aunt creepy to be aware of what's online or to nudge LW to think of hiring an interior designer.   

    I also want to know how cruel the niece was that she was in tears.  Is it the message or a thin-skinned recipient? 

    I consider myself a "medium" skinned person and am not especially sensitive.  But I would be extremely hurt to be called Aunt Creepy by my niece or nephew.  Because they are people I love and a name like that would mean to me that they don't even like me, much less love me.  And, while the comment and the hurt from it would diminish over time, it is a memory that would occasionally haunt me.  And I'd feel awkward around them.  Maybe for years, depending on how the relationships progressed.

    I don't even have to know what the comments/pics are, though I'm sure that just makes it even worse.  But the "Aunt Creepy" name alone is enough for it to cross past the "cruel" line.

    Extremely hurt makes complete sense.   In tears?  I guess it takes a lot to make me cry over something personal even though This Is Us does it on a regular basis.

    I'm in no way defending the niece.   I'm questioning why this "you're not welcome in my house".   If niece is an adult why isn't aunt trying to handle it in an adult manner?  

    We had issues with BIL (not public but ones none the less).  DH picked up the phone and talked to his brother.   Words were used to resolve issues.
    I can't imagine going out of my way to speak to niece if something like that happened. I dont' really see it as an issue that needs resolving. You clearly have no respect for me or my home, I respond accordingly by not having you in my home. I think some pp's are going a little light on the niece. You did a horrible thing, there are consequences. Although honestly if the niece had the nerve to post shit like that in the first place she probably doesn't care if she's allowed back. Talking wouldn't solve those issues for me in the slightest, nothing you could say to me would be me feel better about the situation and it doesn't make me less of an adult to feel that way.
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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
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    I just remembered- my MIL's bedroom has dozens of American Girl dolls on display. At least those aren't totally creepy like those antique dolls can be, but it's a little weird. Too many eyes, man.  
    But it's HER room, no one else goes in there. 

    After reading everyone's thoughts, I still stand by my original answer that LW can be hurt and ban the niece from staying. A disproportionate reaction to the insults would be to, say, cut her out of the will or something. It doesn't sound like she's refusing to see her ever. But insult the house, don't stay there. Seems reasonable to me. 
    ________________________________


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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    thisismynickname2 said:
    I just remembered- my MIL's bedroom has dozens of American Girl dolls on display. At least those aren't totally creepy like those antique dolls can be, but it's a little weird. Too many eyes, man.  
    But it's HER room, no one else goes in there. 

    After reading everyone's thoughts, I still stand by my original answer that LW can be hurt and ban the niece from staying. A disproportionate reaction to the insults would be to, say, cut her out of the will or something. It doesn't sound like she's refusing to see her ever. But insult the house, don't stay there. Seems reasonable to me. 

    Although a different issue, this line reminds me of the letter awhile back where a relative was mad the LW's guest room in a resort town had twin beds, instead of a Queen.  And shamed/insisted the LW get a Queen in a group family message.

    It is like the old adage, "No good deed goes unpunished." 

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    banana468banana468 member
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    Casadena said:
    banana468 said:
    short+sassy said:
    banana468 said:
    levioosa said:
    GBCK said:
    I kinda want to know how creepy these dolls ARE
    ^not the point, I know
    TBH the first thought I had was of my grandmother's house. It had dolls EVERYWHERE. Literally, the family room alone had 70 dolls. And they ranged in age, so the older ones were extra creepy, especially if they had plastic skin. The skin would turn this green and sickly yellow color. It was horrifying. She moved and had to store most of the dolls but the guest room in her townhome still has a ton of them. Growing up everyone in the family would mention or joke about how creepy the dolls were. My brother and I couldn't sleep without turning all of the dolls so they faced away from the bed when we stayed over. Even though there's not nearly as many dolls, people still don't like the guest room. Sharing the photos on social media was wrong and immature of the niece, but I kind of get the impulse to do it. 
    That's sort of what I'm thinking too. 

    No, it's not nice to do that, it's beyond dangerous to share photos of the home online, but I just get this image of an older single aunt who now has her tiny "cottage"  lots of dolls that are either porcelain with eyes perpetually open OR that are plastic with the eyes that close only when they lay down and have a perpetual surprised face.   Crocheted doilies on claw foot tables chairs and couches with floral upholstery are against lace curtains to complete the look.  

    Also, I wonder if the family member alerted her to the aunt creepy to be aware of what's online or to nudge LW to think of hiring an interior designer.   

    I also want to know how cruel the niece was that she was in tears.  Is it the message or a thin-skinned recipient? 

    I consider myself a "medium" skinned person and am not especially sensitive.  But I would be extremely hurt to be called Aunt Creepy by my niece or nephew.  Because they are people I love and a name like that would mean to me that they don't even like me, much less love me.  And, while the comment and the hurt from it would diminish over time, it is a memory that would occasionally haunt me.  And I'd feel awkward around them.  Maybe for years, depending on how the relationships progressed.

    I don't even have to know what the comments/pics are, though I'm sure that just makes it even worse.  But the "Aunt Creepy" name alone is enough for it to cross past the "cruel" line.

    Extremely hurt makes complete sense.   In tears?  I guess it takes a lot to make me cry over something personal even though This Is Us does it on a regular basis.

    I'm in no way defending the niece.   I'm questioning why this "you're not welcome in my house".   If niece is an adult why isn't aunt trying to handle it in an adult manner?  

    We had issues with BIL (not public but ones none the less).  DH picked up the phone and talked to his brother.   Words were used to resolve issues.
    I can't imagine going out of my way to speak to niece if something like that happened. I dont' really see it as an issue that needs resolving. You clearly have no respect for me or my home, I respond accordingly by not having you in my home. I think some pp's are going a little light on the niece. You did a horrible thing, there are consequences. Although honestly if the niece had the nerve to post shit like that in the first place she probably doesn't care if she's allowed back. Talking wouldn't solve those issues for me in the slightest, nothing you could say to me would be me feel better about the situation and it doesn't make me less of an adult to feel that way.
    No, instead she decided that in one breath niece is an adult and in the next punished the mom for her daughter's actions and said that neither were welcome.   At 7 I'll take responsibility and will accept punishment for what DD does.   By the time she's in college I don't know that I'll agree to it. 

    Why mom is banned I don't get.   

    There's so little backstory here and not much is known about her relationship with the rest of the family but it's odd to me that she never mentioned any form of support received by the rest of the family.



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    CasadenaCasadena member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    banana468 said:
    Casadena said:
    banana468 said:
    short+sassy said:
    banana468 said:
    levioosa said:
    GBCK said:
    I kinda want to know how creepy these dolls ARE
    ^not the point, I know
    TBH the first thought I had was of my grandmother's house. It had dolls EVERYWHERE. Literally, the family room alone had 70 dolls. And they ranged in age, so the older ones were extra creepy, especially if they had plastic skin. The skin would turn this green and sickly yellow color. It was horrifying. She moved and had to store most of the dolls but the guest room in her townhome still has a ton of them. Growing up everyone in the family would mention or joke about how creepy the dolls were. My brother and I couldn't sleep without turning all of the dolls so they faced away from the bed when we stayed over. Even though there's not nearly as many dolls, people still don't like the guest room. Sharing the photos on social media was wrong and immature of the niece, but I kind of get the impulse to do it. 
    That's sort of what I'm thinking too. 

    No, it's not nice to do that, it's beyond dangerous to share photos of the home online, but I just get this image of an older single aunt who now has her tiny "cottage"  lots of dolls that are either porcelain with eyes perpetually open OR that are plastic with the eyes that close only when they lay down and have a perpetual surprised face.   Crocheted doilies on claw foot tables chairs and couches with floral upholstery are against lace curtains to complete the look.  

    Also, I wonder if the family member alerted her to the aunt creepy to be aware of what's online or to nudge LW to think of hiring an interior designer.   

    I also want to know how cruel the niece was that she was in tears.  Is it the message or a thin-skinned recipient? 

    I consider myself a "medium" skinned person and am not especially sensitive.  But I would be extremely hurt to be called Aunt Creepy by my niece or nephew.  Because they are people I love and a name like that would mean to me that they don't even like me, much less love me.  And, while the comment and the hurt from it would diminish over time, it is a memory that would occasionally haunt me.  And I'd feel awkward around them.  Maybe for years, depending on how the relationships progressed.

    I don't even have to know what the comments/pics are, though I'm sure that just makes it even worse.  But the "Aunt Creepy" name alone is enough for it to cross past the "cruel" line.

    Extremely hurt makes complete sense.   In tears?  I guess it takes a lot to make me cry over something personal even though This Is Us does it on a regular basis.

    I'm in no way defending the niece.   I'm questioning why this "you're not welcome in my house".   If niece is an adult why isn't aunt trying to handle it in an adult manner?  

    We had issues with BIL (not public but ones none the less).  DH picked up the phone and talked to his brother.   Words were used to resolve issues.
    I can't imagine going out of my way to speak to niece if something like that happened. I dont' really see it as an issue that needs resolving. You clearly have no respect for me or my home, I respond accordingly by not having you in my home. I think some pp's are going a little light on the niece. You did a horrible thing, there are consequences. Although honestly if the niece had the nerve to post shit like that in the first place she probably doesn't care if she's allowed back. Talking wouldn't solve those issues for me in the slightest, nothing you could say to me would be me feel better about the situation and it doesn't make me less of an adult to feel that way.
    No, instead she decided that in one breath niece is an adult and in the next punished the mom for her daughter's actions and said that neither were welcome.   At 7 I'll take responsibility and will accept punishment for what DD does.   By the time she's in college I don't know that I'll agree to it. 

    Why mom is banned I don't get.   

    There's so little backstory here and not much is known about her relationship with the rest of the family but it's odd to me that she never mentioned any form of support received by the rest of the family.



    Totally agree that banning the mom/sister is weird. I have to wonder if the rest of the family even knows? It sounds to me like they might not since she's worried about escalating the situation since it will definitely become obvious around the holidays that they're not staying with Aunt or that they don't come at all.
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