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I am from Pittsburgh and never ever heard of this until one posting on TK a few months ago. Went to tons of weddings during my twenty years there. I can see how it might be fun in the sun for people to hang at communal, open BBQ's with friends. I can see how it would be nice for a group to do this to raise money for a needy local family, or some such other good cause. But to ask your bridesmaids and friends to donate so you can have a nicer wedding, um, no. Just. No.
If you want to fundraise for your wedding, do like most of us did and get a second job. Or, stop buying Starbucks. People know couples want cash. Duh.
Always a surprise when I logon after a month away. Of course, I'm not surprised when I saw no mods, as that was long gone, maybe several months ago. Now, no flags. Well, that's a good thing, from what I can tell!!!!!!!!!
Wishing I could add more !!!!! to above. All the little newbes getting upset at being told no.
Your wedding is not for a year. It is too early to select dresses.
Also, bridesmaid dress demands sounds a little snarky. In the great scheme of things, her dress length being slightly different is no big deal.
You should never tell them whether to wear heels or flats. They need to wear something they are comfortable in.
I agree with you somewhat on the shawls, but only if they are part of the wedding attire. If she's just doing it to be nice, then she can give any color/pattern gift she wants.
Nobody has to give you any party. They are a gift and not a right. If someone offers, that is very kind and generous of them. It is not anybody's duty.
Cut the wedding talk with this woman. Ask her about herself, her hobbies, or whatever you two usually talk about when you're together.
Think of how your grandparents would feel if they were not invited. Right. Invite them.