ahoywedding member


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  • Re: Estranged FMIL and conflicts with FSIL, invites? Sorry, long.

    First off, props to you both for caring for your FI's niece! I think you should ask her how she feels about her mother attending the wedding. At 8 years old, she can at least voice her feelings, and you can go from there. 

    I think you both need to talk about how you feel about having a relationship with his mom. If you do decide to step things back, he should be the one to have that conversation (blood talks to blood). You did open the door a little by adding her on social media. I know it's easy to feel like that's not realllly letting someone in since it's so prevalent these days, but it is often the start of a relationship. 

    Does your FI worry he may regret not having these family members there? Like, sometimes if someone even sees a glimmer of possibility the relationship may be mended, they worry they'll look back and feel guilty about not inviting them to a wedding. I would encourage him to be honest with you about his feelings, and follow his lead.
  • Re: Telling people what is served

    lyndausvi said:
    MesmrEwe said:
    WTF is wrong with having an AF event - Anyone ever heard of the term "Mocktails"...  GM really needs to look up "Enabler" if the only reason her family shows up is for free alcohol js...
    There is nothing wrong with an AF event.  That said, in my family it's would be looked down upon big time.    We serve alcohol at ALL events, regardless of the age of the guest of honor or time of day.    There is some hundred+ years  of history to back up my claim.  You are not going to change my families minds easily.

     Now, I don't think people would skip an AF event, but they most likely will pre-game or not stay very long.   Since it's never happened I really don't know.  

      I don't think it's because of the "free alcohol" factor either.  Every single one of us serves alcohol at our own parties.  Just like we always have food.   It's just how we have hosted events for generations.

    That all said, I surprised Miss Manners thinks it's okay to put on a invitation there is a lack of alcohol.      
    OMG this is my family too. My parents recently went to a 1 year old's birthday party (non-family) and my dad asked where the beer was. Mom said they looked at him like he had three heads. It's just part of what our family thinks about when hosting any kind of event (literally, any kind of event).

    I don't think people would leave or straight up not come, but if anything happening at any kind of event is out of the norm for that group it's probably worth at least spreading info via word of mouth.
  • Re: Table and Chairs

    That actually sounds like a really good price! Ditto southernbelle, if you can't afford just over a dollar for everyone to sit down, how are you affording to host them properly?

    My parents always rent chairs from the local bowling alley when they need more, but they know the owner so it's free. You could check there, banquet halls, VFW, Columbus Club, etc. Also keep in mind you'll need a vehicle that can transport them!
  • Re: laser hair removal - for men

    My dad has the full mustache/beard, and he has since we were kids so I can't date anyone with facial hair. My H struggles to grow a beard sometimes (aka he gets lazy) and I hate it. But his facial hair also comes in this weird red/blonde color so it looks patchy and stupid. 

    Seconding the armpit hair @kimmiinthemitten. I don't think I'd want H to shave it (weird?) but it's also super gross to touch.
  • Re: Christian blessing to the 4 directions

    Are you or your future spouse Native American or pagan? If not, I think you need to leave this out so that you are not appropriating something culturally significant to groups you are not part of.
    This. And no actual Christian clergy is going to let you do this because it's a nod to other religions. 
    My friend and her partner are both Christian ministers and I would not be remotely surprised if they included something like this at their wedding, to celebrate their heritage. They've found great ways to combine their faith with their culture.
    The bolded is the difference. OP never said if either she or her FI are Native America. If so, then it would be lovely to include. If not, it's cultural appropriation. Most Christian minsters *not of Native American heritage* will not agree to incorporate this, which is why we all suggested she start with asking them.