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I guess I should make a post about someone's "pet" geese who keep pooping on my lawn.
In all seriousness, Frank sounds like an adorable old man and this is a sweet post compared to what's usually on Nextdoor.
I think it's all about how you own the Brittany Spears, if you do want to change your name. I'm guessing from your post that you're a teacher? It maybe depends what grade you teach, but younger kids may not put it together and with older kids you could acknowledge the joke and then just roll with it. FWIW, I work in healthcare and hire nurses pretty frequently and don't judge them by their names.
It's kind of up to you, if neither of you or your FI feel attached to your current last names you could choose something else together (maybe an older family name on one side?). You could keep your maiden name or change it to his.
I think they're convenient and use less paper, which is always a plus. I wouldn't get a super formal vibe from them though, just something to think about.
But as an aside, you shouldn't specify a dress code unless it's truly a black tie event or your venue has guidelines (no jeans at the country club, cover your shoulders in the church, etc). Semi-formal isn't an actual "dress code," and can encompass everything from suits to dress slacks/button down/no tie.
About your gifts... I would shop for them like it's your their birthday. I did spend about the same amount for each of my BMs, but their gifts were SO different it would have been hard to make any type of comparison. Personally, it would depend on the frame if I'd use it or display it. We also wrote the WP (and our parents) individual notes in addition to their gifts.
We gave everyone their gifts at the RD, before any guests got there. If you're not having a rehearsal, is there another time you'd all be together or when you'd see each woman individually? (however you choose to do things is probably fine).
Edit: words, you don't buy friends gifts for your own birthday!
I would say a bigger one like poster-sized, or at least two 16x20's. I think that's the size I've seen when people use a matted photo for their guestbook.
One thing to consider though is that with the matted photos, there's a bunch of white space guests can sign. With a canvas photo, you'll want to choose pictures with plenty of negative space so that guest aren't signing directly on you two, especially since you have so many guests. Also consider the color marker you'll use, and make sure it's something that's visible on the entire picture.