Second Weddings — The Knot Community

Shower Decoration

demkoj1 — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 11:43:02 +0000

I have this Bride to Be banner from my shower that I am selling for $10. It was originially purchased off etsy for $20. It added a great touch to my shower.

If interested email me at jeanine.demko@gmail.com

Thanks

another registry question

beautifulmama28 — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 18:04:22 +0000

didn't want to steal the thread below, but I've been contemplating doing a small one, even though as the other poster stated we don't really need anything (maybe new towels, etc...but nothing major)

I'll be honest....I'm a cheapo when it comes to anything in my house, #1 because I'm a miser and #2 because my kids destroy stuff lol

So, i'm trying to figure out where to register...because a lot of the registry stores prices I would die before I paid them (basically I'm a thrift shop kind of gal LOL)

suggestions on where to go?

Social Faux Pas?

Skalmstrom — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 02:19:53 +0000

Are there any things that we shouldn't do/have at our wedding seeing it's a second marriage for both of us? We want to celebrate our own way, which seems relatively traditional and similar to most people's first marriages, but we don't want to commit any social faux pas, you know? Any thoughts or tips would be great! Thanks!

Non-traditional Registry

MuppetOverlord — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 20:39:04 +0000

So this is my second wedding (his first). I do not want a shower, the people in my life already contributed to my building a home and it makes me feel uncomfortable to do it again, especially when we don't need anything.

We might do an engagement party this spring or summer...but not really looking for gifts.

So for our registry which will be mainly regarding the wedding day itself I imagine... we are going to do a honeymoon registry because that's what would help us the most.

I love the idea....but my FMIL is crazy and she's particularly crazy about this wedding since it's her only child and his first wedding so I think she's going to have a cow about not having the traditional shower and not registring for tangible gifts.

Anyone have any feedback on honeymoon registries or dealing with anticipated crazy FMIL reactions?

wedding stress is getting to me!

coopsbaby — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 06:50:33 +0000

Well, not stress so much, since evrything is going well. But nerves maybe? I don't know. I can't get focused and I've had nightmares the last three nights that were either wedding or exhusband related.

Part of it is because I'm just WAITING for the ex to try to ruin this for me, or to try to bring me down. He tends to call me up about something kid-related and then get on a rant about FI or what we spend our money on or things we do with the kids. And he hasn't said one bad word about us flying the kids to Vegas for our wedding so I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I know the kids are gonna have so much fun, they're really excited, they're 20, 17 and 15, and they really like fi and get along with him well. Ex hates that the kids like fi, especially since they refuse to have anything to do with his girlfriend. But ex never even sees them, he hasn't been around at all, even talked to them in 2 months. Hasn't seen the older two since last summer.

And I know a lot of me just isn't used to being happy, veing calm, having everything go well. My life with ex was chaotic and unpleasant (to put it mildly) and fi is so good to me. Sometimes I just don't know how to deal with it! I know it's normal, but still!

Thanks for letting me vent!

Uh...I bought another dress lol

beautifulmama28 — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 00:41:28 +0000

Yep. its true! lol

My original dress was purchased last year about 4 weeks after he proposed, and let me just say that sometimes when you know its not the one, then you know its not the one.

I have spent the last 4 months since we reset our date trying to love that dress. I told myself it was just because I'm in love with trying on dresses (which, ok I admit maybe a little lol) but no matter what I did, no matter who saw the pictures of it and told me it looked gorgeous on me, I couldn't shake it. ( I even had a bridesmaid tell me it wasn't the type of dress she had pictured me in)

Initially when i purchased it, I did so because my DIL had a credit at that bridal salon. I had originally wanted something with lace, but lets face it, lace is expensive and I was working with a budget. The only lace dress I tried on there that night was horribly heavy and not figure flattering on me because of the cut. The owner of the salon had even told me she didn't have much for lace in my price range.

With that said, I bought a beautiful dress, but it wasn't what I had envisioned at all (it was dropped waist chiffon with ruffles), plus at the time we were planning a spetember wedding for last year.

Fast forward to last week, after running through all of this in my head (and thinking I must be crazy, i'm going to end up looking for a dress that doesn't exist except in kleinfelds where it will resides until someone else buys it because I can never afford it I found a salon not too far from here that has lots of beautiful designer dresses off the rack, so i went and this is what I got...a beautiful sparkly lace San Patrick ball gown. Ladies....I got that feeling. Like that feeling that I get when FI is around lol thats the best I can describe it. I am so thankful I listened to that little inner voice, and thanks for reading all of this, I know its really long, but I just had to share ;)

Its finally hitting me lol

beautifulmama28 — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 22:51:27 +0000

We met with our pastor today...paid for the church, met with the reception guy, thats all set.

Got my invites DONE.

Oh and got my dress alterations scheduled ;)

Wow...its really happening lol

Thirty days and counting!

coopsbaby — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 04:03:23 +0000

We are officially at thirty days until the wedding and nerves are kicking in! Everything major is done and taken care of, finally got my 20 year old son to get fitted for his tux, and our parents bought their plane tickets so we're ready to go!

Fi has started calling me Mrs. Hislastname and it sounds so strange (but good strange). I've been back to my maiden for almost 2 years, but had my ex's name for 19 years too. I think I have to practice mynew signature. Is that too high school and silly?

March of 2013 sounded SOOO far away when we got engaged, can't believe it's almost here!

Ouch ... a.k.a. "I haz a sad"

reppunzel — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 00:04:58 +0000

This isn't even a rant / vent ... just a small spot of heart-aching that I can't seem to shake today.

FI has a close friend, who, upon hearing about our engagement, offered to be a groomsman. That was great, and especially because FI (who is divorced) has been wrestling with asking groomsmen, in part because some of his still-close friends stood up for him for his first marriage (not this one, though).

FI called him recently with some wedding-y questions, and his friend seemed really thrown by the whole groomsman thing (even though he volunteered?!?) and said he needed to think about it. Oooo - kay. A few days later, FI gets a voicemail that says "I'm sorry ... we just love you both and I can't do it."

Huh? What? FI, of course, was hurt and embarrassed by this, and it hurt my heart to see him hurting and not be able to do a blessed thing about it (and, to be honest, struggling a bit myself with feeling like a causal factor). I know divorces are hard on those who know both parties, and I'm respectful of that. I know people have differing views on divorce and remarriage, esp. within our faith circles and I respect that, too. What I don't respect is going back on your word or giving it loosely in the first place. And FI wasn't asking him to "take sides" regarding the past ... he was asking for a friend's support as he moved into the future.

A lot of the dust has settled from this now: we had an already-scheduled meeting with our officiant and were able to talk it over with him and he reiterated the support and blessing of the elders of the church on our marriage. FI called and talked to his BIL (and childhood friend) who "wholeheartedly" agreed to be groomsman, which has freed FI up to ask the other friends he had in mind. We had our final talk-through of the guest list today, though, and decided not to invite the "ex-groomsman" and his wife -- not in retaliation, but because we only want guests/witnesses who are supportive of us and our relationship (we didn't do save-the-dates, so no problem there).

I don't think it has the friendship-ending potential that it could have among female friends (re-evaluating, yes; ending, doubtful). But it's just sad. It's oddly similar to the sadness I felt the other day reading a thread on the E board where a bride was being told that a shower wouldn't be "appropriate" for her second wedding. Why not??? For Pete's sake, why not? It's just so darn sad that people can't ... I don't even know how to articulate it?

And I'm not sure why the "sadz" in it have gotten me so strongly today, over a week later. Oh well ... thank you for letting me bleed a little.

Wedding Redo?

AbbyWeber2012 — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 02:27:43 +0000

My husband and I got married on Oct 6th 2012. We had a very small budget ($6000) and we were raising our baby who turned one less than a month before our wedding. Between hand making almost everything including our invites, ceremony decor and reception decor I was completely stressed. On our wedding day I really never got to enjoy all my hard work. The wedding was just so so not at all what I expected it to be. And at the reception my husband and I didnt spend much time together because people kept pulling us in different directions. Now I think we are planning on redoing it. Just a small ceremony and dinner in our back yard. I'm thinking of renting a tent and decorating with lanterns. We are focusing on having another baby so we wouldn't do a wedding redo until two years from now. I guess I really don't want to always remember our wedding as a stressful mess. We had alot of drama around our wedding too and I guess I want to cut all the bad stuff out and have a redo. Is it crazy to have another wedding?

10 year vow renewal rules?

mudderflies — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 20:19:57 +0000

Hi I am new to this board and I had a few questions... my husband and I have been married for 7 years and we want to renewal are vows on are 10th anniversary. When we first got married 7 years ago, it was at the court house. We were only engared for I think 2 or 3 months and I had no one to help me with the wedding planning and we didn't have the money. There were only 10 people there, we got dressed up a little and went to a steakhouse after. I know I can't do a redo of the wedding, but i would at least like to have something nice and have a venue and pictures (I never got any the first time). I would also like to have a reception. I have already been told by some close friends that I should wear a fancy dress or white and that I shouldn't make it look like a wedding. But I just feel like since I never got that the first itme around that I should at least be able to have some stuff that both me and him want. So my question is want are the "rules" of a vow renewal? I dont' want people to think that I'm trying to do a redo and think that I'm cheesey and tacky. However I really want to have my dad walk me down the asil, I never got that and I would love to have that memerey with him. Thanks. Sorry for any speeling errors I'm a horrible speller

Hello!

nurseangie2 — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 14:34:07 +0000

Hi everyone. I've been a lurker for a while, but decided to post since I'm getting really excited about our upcoming wedding. It's the second for both of us, and we have been together almost four years. We were supposed to have been married on 10/11/12, but I suddenly lost my mom to cancer at the end of August, and we thought it was best to wait, so now we are getting married on October 3rd. We don't have much planning to do since it was all planned for last year. Luckily we were able to move our date, even on our honeymoon reservations and not lose any money. We have five kids, three of which are teen girls, and I had their dresses made . . so hope those fit! We are having an outdoor wedding close to our hometown, then leaving for our honeymoon to the Smoky Mountains, and then coming back and having a reception later. SO EXCITED!!

Wedding size change of heart

DeidraJarrod — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 20:01:25 +0000

My financé and I have had a change of heart in regards to the size of our wedding. We were planning a large 200+ wedding. We have sent out our save the dates, but not formal invitations. How do we notify our original guest list that we have decided to move up the wedding but now only intend to have 30 of our immediately family and close friends in attendance?

Renewal of vows/ wedding that never happened

wkyoung — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 21:20:06 +0000

So here's the thing, my husband and I had a super short engagement due to circumstances we couldn't control and so we ended up going to the courthouse and having a small thing with family at a resturant after. I never got to do any of the traditional stuff and my husband and I have been talking about doing a celebration for our 3 year with family and friends to kinda make up for that. I'd still like to incorporate some aspects of an actual ceremony like exchanging vows or speeches and first dances but I don't know if it would be too wierd for everyone if we tried to plan out an actual ceremony when we've already been married for a couple years..I know it would mean a lot to my family to do something at least and it would mean a lot to me to redierect the focus on why we got married and share that and our faith based marriage with our loved ones. My husband doesn't feel comfortable spending a lot of money on something that isn't an actual wedding but we both agree that it might be a little wierd and out of place, not giving the meaning that we want to convey. What do you guys think?

Kate

The pressures of planning a wedding the second time around...vent lol

beautifulmama28 — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 23:46:20 +0000

For the longest time I've dreamed of planning a wedding.

A beautiful amazing day to celebrate the love I have with my soul mate.

That being said...somedays I wonder what the heck I was thinking...being a 30 something mom of many with a full time job (or two lol) plus mortgage, bills, and trying to find me time?!

Someone that has already BTDT please tell me it will all work out and be a beautiful day lol

This mama is stressing right now!

In person meeting with caterer, what to ask, etc.

audreyecu61 — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 22:43:43 +0000

To date all my caterer contact has been via e-mail or phone.
We have an initial draft of the menu that the caterer suggested and we have our changes.
They have confirmed the timing of the event and luckily have worked in our venue in the past.
But what else should I ask? or expect?

XP -- Rehearsal Dinner Entrees

reppunzel — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 00:15:29 +0000

My FIL's have graciously offered to cover the costs of our rehearsal dinner and told us to select the menu. We can choose from the restaurant's menu, and they will print custom menus for our group.

Children under 10 will order off the standard children's menu. We are inviting five in the 10-20 age range, the rest of the guests are over 21, most in the 35+ range. To my knowledge there are no vegans (guest list or SO's) and I don't think there are any vegetarians.

I was thinking of doing 2 beef options, 2 chicken options, 2 seafood options, a dinner salad and a vegetarian pasta.

So far I have:

- Steak with choice of two sides
- Pot Roast with smashed potatoes and choice of side
- Bruschetta Chicken (balsamic glaze, mozarella, tomato bruschetta and basil) with grilled tomatoes or broccoli and choice of side
- Chicken Fingers with choice of dipping sauce and two sides
- Grilled Tilapia with rice pilaf and choice of side
- California Chicken Salad (romaine and spring mix with shredded carrots, bleu cheese crumbles, candied pecans, strawberries, mandarin oranges and dried cranberries; topped with grilled chicken). The chicken could be left off to make this vegetarian, and without the cheese and chicken, it could even be a vegan option.
- Tuscan Pasta (linguini with a Parmesan/garlic butter/roasted tomato sauce, topped with tomato-basil bruschetta).

For the second seafood entree, we could do a battered fish and popcorn shrimp plate, or shrimp scampi pasta. I'm not a big seafood person, so I don't know which would be a better selection. I think the fried option would be more popular with the younger ones, but we already have the fried chicken fingers ... but maybe the adults would prefer that option as well. Thoughts? Opinions? Preferences?

Also, is this enough options? Too many?
FWIW, we will have an assortment of appetizers and basic drinks (tea, water, lemonade) for people to munch and mingle as they arrive.

Thank you for your insights!

deleted

ironfishwedding — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 00:40:20 +0000

delted

Need mental hugs :)

pumpkin314159 — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 15:11:48 +0000

So I have never posted here before, but I am freaking out and I just need a little moral support and I hope you strangers on the internet will indulge me.

I got engaged on Valentine's Day (YAY!) and I am about to tell my Mom and Dad...The "but" here is the reason I am posting to this board. I am just so scared they (and everyone) will be like "Oh great :/ Here we go again!" I was divorced barely 2 years ago...and of course at that time I swore up and down I would never get married again. Well, you know how that goes. Met someone great not long after and, well, you can't help falling love, right?

Even if everyone is supportive, I am worried I will make it all awkward by compulsively trying to justify myself to everyone..."It's different this time!" Or by saying stuff like "I know you came to my last wedding, so you don't have to come to this one if you don't want to..." In my heart, that is NOT how I feel, but I still carry a lot of guilt from getting divorced.

I realize I'm being irrational, and I don't know that I specifically need advice (but feel free to give me some!) I just need to woman up and do it! I was just hoping I could hear some words of courage from some wonderful ladies who maybe understand a little bit what I'm feeling.

Thanks so much in advance.

Advice on SD...

CA.Giraffe — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 21:32:27 +0000

I have two stepdaughters. One is nearly 18, lives with us full-time, no mom in the picture. We get along great.

My other stepdaughter is 6 and lives with her mom, two hours away from us. We get her every other weekend. Her mom and I get along fine, and I want to say upfront that I don't think her mom is a "bad" mom at all; she certainly cares about her kid. That being said...SD's not thriving.

SD is always sick. We have had 10 weekends out of the last 25 rescheduled because she's been sick with a flu, strep, a cold, ear infection, stomach bug...and even when she comes and is "healthy", she always has a cough and runny nose, is pale and not terribly energetic. She's a super small child (will be 7 in July, wears a size 4T, neither parent is petite). In pictures, most people assume she's 3 or 4. It's frustrating to have her sick all the time, to say nothing of how she must feel. She's had her tonsils out, but it didn't help. Her mom takes her to the doctor regularly, and usually comes home with antibiotics but no real explanation as to why she never feels well and can't fight any of these bugs off. I'd love to push harder and seek some answers, but don't want the mom to feel I'm imposing or questioning her judgment on the matter, and the distance makes it such that this would require a coordinated effort.

The other big issue is her schooling. SD did not attend any preschool or daycare, and I'm not sure how much her mom may have worked with her on reading/writing/math. SD went to kindergarten last year, and at the end of the year, it was recommended that she be held back to repeat kindergarten this year - partially because she had missed so many days due to illness (36 out of 181 school days). So, now we're halfway through her second year of kindergarten, and she's still not doing well (still missing a lot, too). She cannot recognize all her letters, cannot count higher than 25 or so. She cannot write her name, or read even simple three-letter words. My older SD is an aide in a kindergarten class two days per week, and believes her sister is way behind. Her mom has told DH and me that she believes the expectations in kindergarten are unreasonable, they didn't do any work like this when she was that age, SD will pick it up with school gets "serious" in first grade. DH and I disagree, but we're not sure how much we want to push - SD's mom is adamant that SD not be tuned into the fact that she might need extra help. DH and I do wonder if SD's hearing is poor, and asked her mom to have it checked, but she hasn't followed through and DH hasn't found anywhere around here to have it done on a weekend.

This is where it might sound judgy, but I really don't mean it to be - SD's mom doesn't value education as a way to get ahead in life. She honestly believes that looking good will get you farther than having brains, and has lived her entire life according to that belief. She has never been employed, ever - so I feel like she doesn't understand the opportunities that come with doing well in school and having a good education. I don't share this perspective, and I would hate for SD to be doing poorly in school and learn to hate it because she's struggling with it so much that she buys into her mom's idea that looks are all that matter. For this reason, though, I feel like it would be up to DH and I to push for SD to be tested/checked/whatever to make sure she's in the best possible environment for her to learn. It's simply not a priority for her mom.

Any ideas? Maybe I just needed to vent. I love my SDs and want the best for them - but I feel like my younger SD isn't on the best possible track.

MOH for 2nd wedding

arscuore — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 01:53:22 +0000

I'm a little ahead of myself here, since we haven't even really begun to wedding plan, yet. But I know it will be incredibly small: my parents, my son, and I was hoping my best friend and her girls and husband, a family friend and her husband, and maybe a few of the fiance's friends and their wives. I'd like to ask my best friend to be my MOH, even though she won't have much to do, but she's not a big fan of my fiance, for completely unfounded reasons. It's a symbolic gesture, I think, with such a small wedding -- Do I even need to bother?

Input is much appreciated. Thanks!

just saying hello :)

beautifulmama28 — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 22:21:50 +0000

I just wanted to say hello, I posted my intro above, but i'm so excited to have found this little niche of TK that I wanted to post a little bit about myself...

I was married once before for 18 years. I have 8 (yes thats EIGHT lol) kids...

My FI is an amazing guy. Who is their right mind would date a woman with 8 kids, let laone want to be in her life forever? :)

I am planning our wedding because I never got one the first time around and like I've said I'm only doing this ONE more time so lets do it the way we want!

I love the list of normals posted at the top of this board, they completely hit home on so many levels. Definitely gives me peace of mind <3

I look forward to popping in here and meeting all the second time+ around brides and hearing about how special we are each making our day :)

What first dance song are you using?

TheShelley — Wed, 26 Dec 2012 19:31:50 +0000

We are really having a hard time choosing a first dance song. I thought I'd put it here because you guys might have some interesting ideas.

I'm looking for something like Rascal Flatts "Bless the Broken Road", but... not country, if that makes sense. I love the message of that song, but the music is all wrong for us.

Any suggestions? Thanks!

Question about dinner at the reception

malliemae2 — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 20:17:28 +0000

Hi, I was needing some advice so thought I'd post this and see what you all thought. I am getting married next year. This is my third, (yes third) marriage and my fiance's second. I had a big wedding the first time and a smaller, but nice wedding the second time. My fiance was married at the courthouse his first time, so he never had a traditional wedding. We have a beautiful venue picked out. It's a bit pricey but we love it. It will be in August and very hot. We were thinking of having an evening wedding, like say 7 pm. It will still be light out but will not be in the heat of the day. Since it would be late, we wondered if we would still have a dinner. People wouldn't be eating until about 8 pm. Would it be rude if we didn't have a dinner and either had a desert bar or finger food so that they had something to nibble on, but not have an actual dinner? We will probably have 70 people attend. I just don't know if we should have it earlier and have a buffet dinner in the heat, with not much shade at this place, or have an evening wedding while the sun is going down. I'm willing to go either way. Have you ever been to a wedding that didn't have a full dinner? Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

Rings!!!

reppunzel — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 21:24:11 +0000

Our rings came this week! I am so excited -- as I mentioned in a previous post, we got bad sticker shock when consulting with a jeweler about reworking some family rings / stones and wound up ordering online.

And they came over the weekend (had to sign for one at the P.O. yesterday)! There's a slight issue with FI's, and they both could use a bit of tweaking sizewise, but they are wearable (i.e. we can get married now, LOL) ... and I've gotten a referral to a good jeweler in a nearby town.

Since I shared the drama, I wanted to share the joy!

Here's mine:

I love the detailing, and it's curved just enough to snuggle up to my engagement ring.

Here's FI's:

It's an antique Art Deco ring (which he loves), with a bit of detailing for personality, but not to "blingy" for his taste.

Asking for Input

Rhaethe — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 16:52:29 +0000

So here's the skinny:

My first wedding, it was a fairly big to-do. Not extravagant, as the bulk of the budget went into the receptions (there were three different ones) and honeymoon, but it had a good number of bells and whistles. Now, this go round I'd like simple, elegant, and small.

On his side, his first wedding was a quickie jeans and JP affair with no one else involved. This go round, he says he wants small and simple, but as we talk about invitations the number of folks he feels "really need to be there" expands.

He is the type of guy that is unabashedly romantic at heart, though he claims not to be. So i suspect that he now has the opportunity to actually have a "proper wedding", that is what he's sliding to.

The plan thus far is to have a destination wedding in CO. I would like to invite 2 attendants on each side, and parents on both side ... and then lease a vacation home. We would officiate our own ceremony, and then start our life-adventure with family and closest friends vacationing in Estes Park. He and I have cohab'd for nigh on 10 years now, so the man and I don't really require a honeymoon, per se`. The sheer bulk of the cost for us would be footing the entire house rental. But, the more he tacks on extra people that "need to be there", the higher the cost becomes as I am trying to find lodging for them.

Now, I know that we should (and we will) be having a good conversation about it, and will need to come to compromises ... which I have no problem with. But what sorts of things have you ladies out there brought up as points toward "small = better" other than finances? I don't want to use the finances card with impunity.

Or are there actual advantages to having something larger and more traditional that I am not thinking of?

Mother-son Dance

luzagosto — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 18:23:14 +0000

Although this is my second wedding, it is my fisnce's first. We will have the mother son dance for my fiance and his mother, but I dont know what song to pick for my son and I dance since he is the one giving me away. Any suggestions??

I can't believe I'm doing this again!

veryhappymomofgroom — Sat, 26 Jan 2013 01:41:36 +0000

We are an older couple and have just moved into our home. It has a nice yard and a pool, Because we feel like we do not need a big formal wedding again, a more casual, intimate backyard wedding with family and close friends will be perfect. The reception could be a BBQ/pool party. I do not want a formal gown and just don't know what I do want to wear other than flip flops! I thought it would be nice to have our grandchildren as our bridal party. Each one could give me a flower as I walk past our guest to create my bouquet. Any thoughts or good ideas?

How do you get people on board for your 2nd wedding (partial vent)?

bluejadex — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 03:51:39 +0000

Thus far, most people have been supportive and/or excited... I think my mom was somewhat surprised, so she neglected to congratulate us when we told her, but she did do so the next day. My dad..well...for a better idea, see my post about him walking me down the aisle (click here ). FI's family is excited (his first wedding).

When I called to tell my grandparents (on my mom's side), I don't know that it went as well. My grandpa congratulated me and said they were happy for us, etc. My grandma, though she said the same, said other things that have been bothering me. She essentially asked me if this was going to be the last one and also said she thought we should just do something really small...maybe just have parents and grandparents at the ceremony and then let other close family (aunts, uncles, cousins) come for the reception (which will be not as formal...no dinner, just finger foods & cake as it'll be in the evening). I was trying to ask her which relatives I should invite and that's when she told me her thoughts (see here for more about the invite issue).

Now, as a note, my mom has been married and divorced twice. For her 2nd wedding (his 2nd as well), they were married in a church, had BP, fair amount of family, reception. Mom wore a wedding dress (not as fancy as some, but it was a wedding dress).

I know my grandma can be critical of people, so I'm trying to not take what she said personally... I've not always had the best relationship with her due to past occurances, but I have been trying to improve it. My ex & I rarely visited them and generally only came to 'important' family gatherings... My FI & I, however, visited them regularly and would stay to play cards/games with them, etc. I suppose I thought that would count for something and she might be more happy/excited about it.

I suppose part of me thought that after going through the disillusionment, things after that wouldn't be as hard, but this seems to be becoming somewhat difficult for me. :/ It's not like I wanted to get married and have that fail....ex & I just weren't right for each other and got married because we thought that's what we were "supposed" to do.

I don't want my FI to feel bad, so I've talked to him some about this, but not to the fullest extent, I suppose. I'd like to be able to talk to my BF, but she had a baby a little over a month ago and has been pretty busy getting settled into that (which I do understand...have been trying to be supportive but give her time & space to get used to having a child). I'll probably try seeing what my mom thinks - see if my grandma reacted the same when my mom told her she was getting married again.

Anyone else dealing with similar reactions? Any advice?

Are you paying for your makeup to be done? Or did you?

audreyecu61 — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 13:51:48 +0000

I am 51, wedding in June.

I am having my hair done for my wedding, but am not sure I want to have someone do my makeup? I do wear make up and could probably get my adult daughters to help me.

I have been searching for a make up artist and find that all the sample pictures they show me are of women that have caked on make up, mind you these are photos, but the make up is so heavy and thick. With false eyelashes, etc.

Maybe I should keep searching?