I'm being asked to rescind an RSVP

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
I received an invitation to attend a Christmas party from an old college friend. He sent the invitation via social media, the guest list was open, and I accepted via social media. Attending the party will be a few old friends I hardly ever see and my wife and I are looking forward to it. After I accepted I received the following message via social media from an old acquaintance: "Hey I'm wondering if you could not go to the party so that I can attend. I kind of dislike you that much. Much appreciated." It’s hard for me to imagine what his problem is regarding me. I know he went on one reportedly terrible date with my sister. I also dimly recall that years ago he wanted to be friends, but I wasn’t interested and declined his invitations. We obviously don’t care for each other, but I could certainly chat amiably with him at a party. I’m still planning to attend, and I have been struggling with the appropriate response to his message. Should I call him for a heart to heart? Suggest to him someone hacked his email? Tell him I’m going? Another friend thinks if I don’t respond it indicates acquiescence to his request. Suggestions?

—RSVP

6fsn

That's some balls.

baconsmom

What happened to gracefully declining? Or, you know, using your manners? It is possible, at a party, to avoid other people. I've done it - last Christmas, a choir friend and I had a falling out, and we both still went to the choir party. There were like 20 other people there. It wasn't hard to politely ignore each other. 

The other option: these people are all still 12, and just sound like adults. 

Amyzen83

I say screw this jerk and go anyway. There is no appropriate response because he doesn't deserve one. If he refuses to go because you're going, then that's this person's problem.

VarunaTT

I wouldn't respond to his e-mail and I would attend the party.  Mr. Inappropriate can do WTH he wants to as well.

mrsconn23

VarunaTT said:

I wouldn't respond to his e-mail and I would attend the party.  Mr. Inappropriate can do WTH he wants to as well.

That's my thought as well.  There are just some requests that don't dignify a response. 

CLI242009

mrs.conn23 said:

show previous quotes

VarunaTT said:

I wouldn't respond to his e-mail and I would attend the party.  Mr. Inappropriate can do WTH he wants to as well.

That's my thought as well.  There are just some requests that don't dignify a response. 

Ditto. Go and just enjoy the party. You can avoid this person and if he assumes you not answering means you agreed, well he'll be in for the shocker not you. You were invited, you said yes, there's nothing anyone can do about it. Do not give this person another thought.

hyechica81

you were invited for a reason to this party dont waste your breath on him. go and have a good time he he shows up he shows up but if he starts to act like and idot then he really imature for his age 

Wzz

so conn, what are you wearing to this party?

AuntFlo

Merry Christmas!

Wzz

you should also bring your daughter, her husband and their boyfriend to the party.

Chipmunk415

I'm still trying to find where my jaw bounced off to after it hit the floor reading about a guest, not the host, but a fellow guest, trying to tell someone not to attend for their convenience and comfort...

Anaelsea

Go to the party dont address his email its ridiculous and super rude and how does he think he can do/say that? SO WEIRD, take the high ground

MischievousMonkey

I'd ignore his email, go anyway and have a wonderful time.  Just ignore him or politely diffuse any situation should it arise.  Obviously the person throwing the party wants you to come.

kerbohl

Don't respond, and if he tries to make a scene when he shows up at the party and sees this person, this person should just laugh it off and say "what, you were serious?  That message was so ridiculous I assumed it was a weird joke!"

mrsconn23

@Auntflo, Christmas just keeps coming over and over again. 

AuntFlo

I was a very good girl this year.

Kerrots

I know everyone is advising to not respond but I probably still would.  Something short and to the point like:

I'm sorry you feel that way.  I will still be attending the party.  If you decide to come I hope we can still be cordial.

rut2014

I'm with Kerrots.  Kill them with kindness!  But whatever you do, do not get caught up in a back and forth message war.  Respond, then that's it.