Father-daughter dance alternative

courtneyandjohn2014

Hello,

So my dad has a condition called Lewy Body Dementia -- which, for the sake of simplicity, I'll just describe as sort of a cross between Parkinson's and Alzheimers.

I'm not sure he's even going to be able to come to our wedding, never mind dancing with me. He can walk with some assistance, but his balance is awful so I think even a simple swaying in place would be tricky for him. And since his perception of the world isn't what it should be, I think me pushing him around in circles in his wheelchair might just confuse/upset him.

That being said, any ideas for what we could do instead of a father-daughter dance? I had thought we could switch things up and have me dance with my fiance's dad and my fiance dance with my mom, but he didn't like that idea. The other thought I had was to invite all the fathers and daughters present to dance and we could just watch. 

Any other suggestions would be great.

KGold80

Have you considered skipping the parent dances completely?

courtneyandjohn2014

I would be fine with that, but my fiance definitely wants to do a mother-son dance. 

If dad can't make it, obviously we wouldn't do anything. But it feels weird to do one and not the other if he is, especially since the F-D one is usually the "big" one.  

I feel like I need some way of acknowledging him that doesn't involve us actually attempting to dance.

Rebl90

I've never witnessed or heard of this, but what about dedicating a short speech/toast to your dad? Maybe shifting this focus towards you honoring or thanking him will help reduce any stress about his inability to dance. Just a thought

sophhabobopha

Rebl90 said:

I've never witnessed or heard of this, but what about dedicating a short speech/toast to your dad? Maybe shifting this focus towards you honoring or thanking him will help reduce any stress about his inability to dance. Just a thought

I really think this idea.

Lauderdale Pink

Rebl90 said:

I've never witnessed or heard of this, but what about dedicating a short speech/toast to your dad? Maybe shifting this focus towards you honoring or thanking him will help reduce any stress about his inability to dance. Just a thought

I really think this idea.

Ditto from me!

ElcaB

Rebl90 said:

I've never witnessed or heard of this, but what about dedicating a short speech/toast to your dad? Maybe shifting this focus towards you honoring or thanking him will help reduce any stress about his inability to dance. Just a thought

I like this idea. You could also consider dedicating a special song to him, and while it plays, you can just sit with him and enjoy the music. 

vmj23

My father suffered from a stroke which left him in a wheel chair.  He can walk a few steps, but for the most part can't walk. He really wanted to be able to dance with me.  He literally just stood there and held my hand with his good hand (right size paralyzed) as I swayed.  I told the DJ to cut the song short so my father wouldn't have to stand too long.     That may not work in your situation, and I'm sorry I can't come up with any suggestions. 

MandyMost

A very different situation, but my father died years ago so I'm not having a father-daughter dance, but don't want to take away the opportunity for my fiance to have a mother-son dance. I don't want to dance with a "replacement" and only having the mother-son dance would make it seem so much more obvious that my father isn't there to dance with me. So, instead we're planning a "family dance". For one song we're inviting all of our close family up to dance, which we'll pre-arrange ahead of time. Fiance will dance with his mom, while his dad dances with is sister. My brother will dance with my mom. I'll dance with a friend of the family, and we have a couple other "immediate family members" who will be dancing with us also. I think 8 couples total is how it works out. 

Lauderdale Pink

@MandyMost-a very touching and sentimental idea.  I am sure it will both beautiful and heartfelt.

kat1114

Do you have any brothers? One of my friend's dad had a stroke and was unable to dance with her for a FD dance. Instead, she danced with her younger brother while her husband danced with his mom. I think everyone thought it was sweet and understood why her brother took her father's place.