Thoughts on RSVP's by email or phone

[Deleted User]

I really like the idea of RSVP cards that list an Email and a Phone number to RSVP to instead of having to mail back an RSVP card. What are everyone's thoughts on this? Good or bad.

Maggie0829

I am not a fan.  I just feel that mailed RSVP cards seem more formal and make the event feel more important.  For me, phone or email RSVPs are meant for birthday parties or more casual affairs.

jerkyanne

Maggie0829 said:

I am not a fan.  I just feel that mailed RSVP cards seem more formal and make the event feel more important.  For me, phone or email RSVPs are meant for birthday parties or more casual affairs.

I agree with this. Also, I feel like people blow off calling or emails much more than rsvp cards. I feel like the cards emphasize the need to know how many people. (I hate when people don't rsvp in general, but this is my experience) You will have to make much more phone calls when rsvp's are due if you do email or phone.

southernbelle0915

By level of formality, I think it goes:

- RSVP card by mail

- RSVP via wedding website

- RSVP by email/phone

I agree with Maggie that the last one (email/phone) very informal and really more for things like birthdays, rehearsal dinners, etc. 

allisoneliz

I will say the same thing that I always say when this question comes up... printing an email address on an insert/RSVP card means people have to type it in (and get it right) in order to RSVP via email. We had people coming to us saying that our address "didn't work", when in reality they'd just typed the address incorrectly. It made us look bad and created an awkward situation with guests (I couldn't very well say "you spelled my/fiance's name wrong in the address, DUH".)

holyguacamole79

I'm with Maggie - not a huge fan. 

JCbride2015

If you did this, I'd think your reception was extremely casual.  Honestly, I'd avoid it.  You want your wedding to feel special.

It also seems like a hassle to accept that many RSVPs by phone or email.  Most people will call, and you might have to write down information like how many people out of the total are coming, or what their meal choices are.  What if you're at work or in the grocery store without a pen?  What if they email, but they forget to put the number attending or meal choice?

peachy13

Echoing PPs. I like filling out the card and mailing it back. Also I find it's pretty rare that wedding RSVPs are something other than filling out the card and sending it back, so if you do go with the email/phone option, be prepared for many of your guests to ask you where their RSVP card is in your invitation.

Source: friend tried to make her life easier by mailing invitations and asking guests to RSVP via their website. Many guests (especially those over a certain age) missed this part completely and were calling her and her parents letting everyone know their RSVP card was forgotten. Then they had to explain to those guests to go on the website, etc.... caused more problems in the end.

[Deleted User]

JCbride2015 said:

If you did this, I'd think your reception was extremely casual.  Honestly, I'd avoid it.  You want your wedding to feel special.

It also seems like a hassle to accept that many RSVPs by phone or email.  Most people will call, and you might have to write down information like how many people out of the total are coming, or what their meal choices are.  What if you're at work or in the grocery store without a pen?  What if they email, but they forget to put the number attending or meal choice?

Ours is It's a buffet style so no meal choices. We've been seeing it a lot more within our circle and it seems to go well. We've spoken to many and none had a ton of issues. But I see how it can create some confusion.

Maggie0829

RachelLee83 said:

JCbride2015 said:

If you did this, I'd think your reception was extremely casual.  Honestly, I'd avoid it.  You want your wedding to feel special.

It also seems like a hassle to accept that many RSVPs by phone or email.  Most people will call, and you might have to write down information like how many people out of the total are coming, or what their meal choices are.  What if you're at work or in the grocery store without a pen?  What if they email, but they forget to put the number attending or meal choice?

Ours is It's a buffet style so no meal choices. We've been seeing it a lot more within our circle and it seems to go well. We've spoken to many and none had a ton of issues. But I see how it can create some confusion.

That doesn't automatically make your wedding casual.  I have been to many beautiful and formal feeling weddings that had buffets or stations.

southernbelle0915

RachelLee83 said:

JCbride2015 said:

If you did this, I'd think your reception was extremely casual.  Honestly, I'd avoid it.  You want your wedding to feel special.

It also seems like a hassle to accept that many RSVPs by phone or email.  Most people will call, and you might have to write down information like how many people out of the total are coming, or what their meal choices are.  What if you're at work or in the grocery store without a pen?  What if they email, but they forget to put the number attending or meal choice?

Ours is It's a buffet style so no meal choices. We've been seeing it a lot more within our circle and it seems to go well. We've spoken to many and none had a ton of issues. But I see how it can create some confusion.

I'd probably think casual more in the sense of what I'd wear versus how they'd serve their food.

So if there was an email/phone RSVP, I'd look at the venues and time of day, but otherwise assume I'd dress and prepare as I would for a birthday party or other casual get together. Personally I'd never wear denim to a wedding, but I could see people getting that kind of message.

[Deleted User]

Sorry someone had said something about food choices so I was responding to that.  Yes wedding will be casual. To include yard games, and food being grilled outside. VERY casual so if thats the message they get then it's working.

Fairyjen1

    We had everyone call or e-mail. However, we are having mostly immediate family, 16-18 people tops. If it were a larger wedding I would have been more traditional. 

SP29

The RSVP should follow the formality of the invitation.

So, if you send out FB invites, it is appropriate to respond via FB. If you send paper invites, response should be on paper.

However, if you include your phone number and e-mail on the invitation as options along with the option to use the response card I don't think there is any harm in that. I do think you should include the response card for everyone. 

mechashiva

It depends. You know your guests best.

We sent out invitations asking guests to RSVP online via our wedding website or phone. Most of our guests are Internet-savvy. We offered the phone option for our older guests. Out of the 60 invitations sent, three called us. Everyone else rsvp'd online. Our guests are also savvy enough to know that based on the location of the wedding, that it's not a casual affair. 

Again, know your guests and what they would respond best to, and act accordingly.

ootmother2

I've seen this asked many times on this board and over most people aren't keen on the idea at all.

You have to also remember that reply cards were not even common in the past ages.  A formally worded, hand written reply was used.