Wedding Photography and Videography Forum

We don't like being photographed...what are our options?

My fiance absolutely loathes getting his picture taken. The best he can manage is a goofy selfie with our dog blocking half his face. I also am not too fond of being photographed. I'm a bit more willing than he is, but I generally avoid the camera in group settings (or hide in the back). What are our options for wedding photography? I considered a photojournalistic style, since posing would certainly create a negative atmosphere, but I worry about our portfolio being filled with bad, unflattering images and such. Additionally, because of all my anxiety and his general dislike of being photographed, it really turns me off to spending a large part of the budget on the service.  
What are some suggestions people might have for us? 

Re: We don't like being photographed...what are our options?

  • Options
    Hire a photog that you are SUPER comfortable with, one that you have fun being with and you don't feel stuffy and posed.

    I would suggest doing a first look. I'm not one for having my photo taken - that's why I hide out behind my lens. We did a first look and went to a street fair for an hour. We walked around, got a lemon shake up, had fun and most of the time I didn't know we were getting our pic taken. We also did some posed photos, but we really liked our photog and were able to be goofy and just have fun, so it made the picture taking part less painful.

    GL!! :)

    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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    I HATE having my picture taken and it caused some anxiety leading up to the wedding.....I thought all the photos would be horrible.  My attitude changed once I had my hair and makeup professionally done and I was wearing a beautiful dress and dazzling jewelry.  If only I had known ahead of time how much I would LOVE taking photos that day because of the way I felt.  Every picture I have is beautiful.  I strongly recommend professional hair and makeup that day.

    As for your FIs general dislike.....can you do a session (engagement possibly) to meet the photographer and get comfortable?  It will probably help make the actual wedding day less stressful.
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    I'd also suggest doing an engagement session. It sounds counterintuitive to do more photos, but it'll give you a chance to get used to working with your photographer. Plus, once you see how great professional photos look, you might have less anxiety.
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    My fiance also hates getting his picture taken.  We did our engagement session with his sister in-law and a hour in he started getting annoyed with her.  But my hope is that for the wedding he calms down a bit and realizes that these are the photos we will have for the rest of our lives and this day will only come once- so just do it!  Our photographer is a work friend and really amazing at putting people at ease.  

    The engagement session is a must if you want to feel comfortable the day of your wedding.  Be honest with your photographer that you feel a little uncomfortable and I'm sure they will work with you. 

    As other's have said, get your hair and makeup done and once you see how beautiful you are, you might be excited to get pictures done.  And you will have so many feelings going through your mind all day that you might not even notice how nervous you are to have your pictures taken.

    I would even say set aside more time for photos so if you feel overwhelmed, you can take a break.  You will want those photos no matter what and skipping photography will upset you.  Plus you will have a lot of cell phones and cameras going off from your guests- so it will be hard to avoid.  

    If you've both never had professional photos taken, you will be quite surprised how beautiful the pictures comes out.  Get the engagement session done and go to a place that you are familiar with that will put you at ease.
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    Everyone has excellent ideas. Perhaps, get a videographer? That way, everything is included in the video.
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    I despise having my picture taken - I actually refuse to be in family photos and I'm a grown woman - but I wanted to at least have pictures of our friends and family enjoying the day. I looked at several photographers and went with what I felt was the best one money could buy (well, within our budget anyway) and we Skyped with him a couple times before the wedding, which helped us be comfortable having him around.

    PP are correct that you will look tremendous on your wedding day, as will your fiance. You will, as we did, very likely have a beautiful natural smile 99% of the time because - it's your wedding day! So it will be very different than the typical line-up-and-shoot type picture that I find incredibly painful (and very rarely flattering). Be prepared that you might not love every single picture that you receive, but that's why you get so many.

    Also, we went with a more photojournalistic style and some of the pics we have of our families and the setting/venue are priceless. We did very few pose-y pictures and that helped a lot, too, with everyone's comfort level.

    Happy choosing :)
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    My fiancé also hates being photographed, and while I don't mind it, I want to spend my wedding day celebrating with friends and family, not staring at some photographer's lens for hours. Everyone says getting good pictures is important, but to me, it really wasn't high up on the list. After some research, I decided to choose a photographer whose style is very unobtrusive and much more photojournalistic. She is more expensive than I preferred, but her candid photos of brides are absolutely beautiful, so I feel comfortable that she'll make me look good. Plus, she gave me a discount for doing fewer hours than her standard package (because, really, nobody needs to see a photo of me putting mascara on in the morning.) My wedding is in a few months, so we will see how it goes! My advice: find a photojournalistic style photographer whose work you love, and have an honest conversation with them about how little time you want to spend getting your photo taken.
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    Photos are a must so it's a matter of finding a style and photographer that works for you.  My mom decided that she didn't need to hire a photographer for her wedding, having friends that were professional photographers and generally disliked having her picture taken. She has TWO photos of herself.  One stiff posed shot standing next to my dad with their mothers and - her favorite - a picture my dad (photographer at the time) took of her talking to her grandmother.  Relaxed, smiling, and beautiful.   Shot through a long lens in the midst of a party, she had no idea her picture was being taken.   I'm a big fan of photo-journalistic shooting and think it's definitely the way for you to go.  Posed shots may ensure that everyone is in the picture but they tend to look posed: fake smiles, stiff backs, etc.

    Photo-journalistic shooting for weddings is fairly common place now so it won't be hard to find a photographer.  Just be sure you find one with a style you really love and then meet with them!   If they have a portfolio of posed shots, then they're not the photographer for you.  Tell them that you and your fiance HATE getting your picture taken and that you don't want to do any posed shots at all. You can gauge by their reaction whether or not they can capture the moment without being in your face.  Do you get a "You won't even know I'm there." or "Don't be silly! You have to have photos at your wedding!"  A good journalistic photographer should be practically invisible.
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    dave1photodave1photo member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited March 2015
    I can tell one "likes" to be photographed.  And everyone is correct in their replies here.  You need to find someone that you're comfortable with.  No phone call contracting here, face to face and maybe a couple of meetings.  The engagement session is also a good idea. 

    But the key is for your photographer to make/allow you to be at ease in every shot.  A candid shooter is much better, because then they're always shooting and catching expressions.  No "camera in you face for hours" kind of thing. 

    But a candid shooter, who just shoots what moves, is not a candid shooter that you necessarily want.  Just because a photographer can shoot a candid doesn't mean that you're going to have the "meaningful" candids that you want from your day. 

    You really need a "storyteller", who is a candid shooter.  Or you're not going to get the story of your day as you're expecting.

    A good professional photographer, who knows what they're doing, will make you feel comfortable with your day even if you absolutely hate photography.  So make sure you find one of these people.

    (edited by mod)
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