Hater's Guide

fwtx5815

If you want to read something funny, here's the 2014 Hater's Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog

"Listen, I can't have my apron woven with regular, peasant cotton. I need Jacquard to do it. Jacquard understands what I need from my cotton. There's a little bit of magic in his loom."

I love kitchen gadgetry but this gave me a good chuckle on this slow work day. 

Oh and a wine bottler opener still beats all the stuff on this list.

PrettyGirlLost

I saw this before Christmas, it was priceless!  This was my fav line:

"Hey, you know what? I'm selling my own cronut knockoff, too. Pay me $80, and I'll come to your house with a bag of flour, and then I'll kick you in the shins. The kick is gluten-free."

esstee33

Hahahaha. This is excellent. 

Killing me: "You can't just leave your shiitake log exposed to the elements like that. Your mushroom risotto will end up being 50 percent cat dander that way." 

But also: SON OF A BITCH. I was actually looking for a tree-shaped baking pan for next year. It looks like the snowman is on clearance now, but the tree is gone. (

levioosa

Look up the 2013 one, and then read his post, "My kid's insane Christmas wish list."  Dying. 

ohannabelle

esstee33 said:

Hahahaha. This is excellent. 

Killing me: "You can't just leave your shiitake log exposed to the elements like that. Your mushroom risotto will end up being 50 percent cat dander that way." 

But also: SON OF A BITCH. I was actually looking for a tree-shaped baking pan for next year. It looks like the snowman is on clearance now, but the tree is gone. (

I took some serious smartassery for my holiday bundt pan passion, when that article came out. 

They're on Amazon. The really nice heavy duty tree pans. Half off regular retail.

 http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias=garden&field-keywords=Nordic+ware+tree&rh=n:1055398,k:Nordic+ware+tree

(I'm kind of ashamed that I know this, and got excited, and that I almost wanted another Nordic Ware holiday frikking pan. Even after Moose just gave me another one for Christmas.)

chibiyui

levioosa said:

Look up the 2013 one, and then read his post, "My kid's insane Christmas wish list."  Dying. 

OMG the Christmas List is hysterical.


I LIVE for the Haters Guide. It makes Christmas so much better.

wrigleyville

I am DYING over the Hot Chocolate Pot entry.

"Yes, a hot chocolate pot. Because a fondue pot wasn't quite useless enough. Hey, you know what other kind of pot is good for making hot chocolate? A POT. Like, any regular pot that you already have. I know sometimes it dribbles down the side when you pour the chocolate out, making you want to kill God. But if you use a ladle, you'll be fine."

lyndausvi

I was laughing so hard while trying to read it to DH that he could not understand a word I was saying.  He finally had to grab the computer from me to read it himself.

JennyColada

But I like spoonulas.

fwtx5815

JennyColada said:

But I like spoonulas.

I have 2 that I use all the time when baking bc they're great for scraping batter and icing. But I've never used them in place of a spoon/heard them called "spoonulas."

chibiyui

dallasbetch said:

But I like spoonulas.

I have 2 that I use all the time when baking bc they're great for scraping batter and icing. But I've never used them in place of a spoon/heard them called "spoonulas."

Agreed, I have spoonful and they are fantastic, but I do not use them in the place of spoons and I have a great love for different sized spatulas in general.

I also love seasonally limited shaped cake pans. I would very much like a snowflake cakelet pan.

And if that hot choclate pot was like, 10 bucks. I'd get it too. I shame Alton Brown, I fucking love uni-taskers in my kitchen.

esstee33

ohannabelle said:

esstee33 said:

Hahahaha. This is excellent. 

Killing me: "You can't just leave your shiitake log exposed to the elements like that. Your mushroom risotto will end up being 50 percent cat dander that way." 

But also: SON OF A BITCH. I was actually looking for a tree-shaped baking pan for next year. It looks like the snowman is on clearance now, but the tree is gone. (

I took some serious smartassery for my holiday bundt pan passion, when that article came out. 

They're on Amazon. The really nice heavy duty tree pans. Half off regular retail.

 http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias=garden&field-keywords=Nordic+ware+tree&rh=n:1055398,k:Nordic+ware+tree

(I'm kind of ashamed that I know this, and got excited, and that I almost wanted another Nordic Ware holiday frikking pan. Even after Moose just gave me another one for Christmas.)

YOU ARE THE BEST. FI and I decided that our Christmas Eve tradition will be to have taco cornbread casserole for dinner, and thought a tree-shaped pan would be a nice touch. 

wrigleyville

dallasbetch said:

But I like spoonulas.

I have 2 that I use all the time when baking bc they're great for scraping batter and icing. But I've never used them in place of a spoon/heard them called "spoonulas."

Yeah, I just call it "that deep spatula... not the little scrape-y one... the one that's all thick and stuff".

sophhabobopha

This reminds me of:

http://catalogliving.net/

it's my favorite.

charlottesmom0626

I read this a few weeks ago and died laughing.

ohannabelle

I pretty much loved this writer from "standing around piping warm cognac up each other's asses."

Brilliant. 

wrigleyville

He had me at, "As a card-carrying white person, I have once again received this catalog in the mail."