It's a BFN! (a GIF thread)

KytchynWitche

And I'm all

But Aunt Flo is still MIA, so I'm all

And apparently she's all

But the BFN is there, and I waited the extra 5 minutes to check that it wouldn't do a sneaky BFP-change, and it didn't. And I have sparkling wine chilling in the fridge (extra bottle from NYE). So whatevs, right?

Pre-emptively, I'm obviously not saying that babies are a bad thing, or saying anything against parents and people TTC, just that now is really not the right time for me and DH. We're still a single-income household, we've only been married a little more than two months, and there's just a lot more stuff that we still want to do that would be a lot harder (though admittedly not impossible) with wee ones in tow. 

Maybe someday, but not right now. And I'm gonna make sure we're a LOT more careful than we already are until that day comes.

ETA: Incidentally and totally irrationally, I felt very brief but quite major disappointment at the BFN. I do not know how to explain that.

sarahufl

KytchynWitche said:

And I'm all

But Aunt Flo is still MIA, so I'm all

And apparently she's all

But the BFN is there, and I waited the extra 5 minutes to check that it wouldn't do a sneaky BFP-change, and it didn't. And I have sparkling wine chilling in the fridge (extra bottle from NYE). So whatevs, right?

Pre-emptively, I'm obviously not saying that babies are a bad thing, or saying anything against parents and people TTC, just that now is really not the right time for me and DH. We're still a single-income household, we've only been married a little more than two months, and there's just a lot more stuff that we still want to do that would be a lot harder (though admittedly not impossible) with wee ones in tow. 

Maybe someday, but not right now. And I'm gonna make sure we're a LOT more careful than we already are until that day comes.

ETA: Incidentally and totally irrationally, I felt very brief but quite major disappointment at the BFN. I do not know how to explain that.

This is an incredibly responsible decision! 

Congrats on not being knocked up

larrygaga

I had literally no idea what was happening in this thread until I googled BFN

It's Big Fat Negative, for those who aren't up on the preggo lingo. 

lurkergirl

Congratulations on getting the answer you wanted and working toward maintaining it!

As far as that brief disappointment--I think that's totally normal for anyone who has even a thought that they may want kids someday!  I have only had a couple real scares in my life where I was really thinking that there was a chance, and for me I think the negative lead to a brief thought of, "What if I can't?" which, for me, would really be disappointing.

LadyMillil

From lurking on the bump - they say you should keep testing once a week until AF arrives. If you reach 60 days with no period and no BFP you should see a doctor.

JCbride2015

Thanks Larry for Googling for those of us less informed!

Wytche, glad you got the BFN you were hoping for!  We're at a similar stage in life.  Both of us want kids within the next few years, but now is not quite the right time.  Would I still be excited after I stopped freaking out?  Yeah.  But BFN can be a really good thing!!!

JCbride2015

Oh-- andplusalso HEY, how is your mom???

KytchynWitche

@larrygaga - Thanks for the translation! I totally meant to put one in, but I guess I was too excited and spaced on it.

@lurkergirl - Thank you! I'm almost 100% certain that I can have children, DH would be the "problem" if there was one. He had to have surgery as a wee one, and something went a little wrong. Not badly enough to be like OMG life ruined, but enough to have some funky plumbing. Neither of us is sure if we'll ever want children though. I hope that when the time comes for you, you get the results you want.

@LadyMillil - I will definitely keep testing if AF doesn't show up, but I'll probably go to the doctor well before 60 days, because I'm impatient like that.

@JCbride2015 - Thank you! I totally get you. I know that if it was a BFP, I would have been able to psych myself up for it, and DH and I would've found a way to deal, but I so don't want to be in that position right now. I hope that things will happen for you as and when you want them! Andplusalso, Ma Witchey is doing just fine, thank you so much for asking! She's been off the chemo for almost a month now (we got the news just in time for her 60th birthday). I spoke to her the other day and she's sounding super chipper, which is great. I really want to go visit her, but she can't take leave at the moment because her line-manager screwed her over, and I can only get transport one way, which kinda sucks.

rockin30ish

Congrats on the BFN. I share in your happiness about those.

As far as having a little disappointment, I understand. It's normal. You start thinking about the "What ifs" And think about what it would be like if you were to have a baby. So that glimmer of disappointment is okay. Just went through that myself. When AF finally did come, FI asked if I was okay even though neither of us want a baby for a while.

And try not to stress out about it. I know, easier said than done. But, stress can actually make it take longer for AF to come. Damn hormones.

KytchynWitche

rockin30ish said:

Congrats on the BFN. I share in your happiness about those.

As far as having a little disappointment, I understand. It's normal. You start thinking about the "What ifs" And think about what it would be like if you were to have a baby. So that glimmer of disappointment is okay. Just went through that myself. When AF finally did come, FI asked if I was okay even though neither of us want a baby for a while.

And try not to stress out about it. I know, easier said than done. But, stress can actually make it take longer for AF to come. Damn hormones.

Thanks. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. And yes, the no stress thing is a heck of a lot easier said than done. It has to be one of the most illogical things about the design of the female body.

rockin30ish

I was texting my concerns to FI when I was going through it. He just kept responding. "Ok" So finally I just said "It must me nice being a man and not having to worry about this stuff."

Yes, over-analyzing and stress are not a good combo to get those hormones working right.

Also, have you had any changes in activity? Are you working out more or less? Having sex more or less? Sleeping habits different? Around different women? Added stresses? These things can have an impact on your cycle... of course, just being a woman can affect it too.

KytchynWitche

rockin30ish said:

I was texting my concerns to FI when I was going through it. He just kept responding. "Ok" So finally I just said "It must me nice being a man and not having to worry about this stuff."

Yes, over-analyzing and stress are not a good combo to get those hormones working right.

Also, have you had any changes in activity? Are you working out more or less? Having sex more or less? Sleeping habits different? Around different women? Added stresses? These things can have an impact on your cycle... of course, just being a woman can affect it too.

Not really. I did have a couple of sleepless nights last week because of the heat, but other than that everything's pretty much as it always has been. I'm sure AF will show up soon enough, and probably on the day I decide to wear white pants, right?

rockin30ish

Yes, especially since you took a test. Wear white. Put new sheets on the bed. Have sex. Or just plan to have sex-That's what triggered mine this time. Of course it came the day before FI left to go out of town.

I'll send AF to you. I'm done with her antics this week.

WinstonsGirl

Yay for you!!  I've had one scare and I tested a second time too.  I'd re-check again in a few days.  We have a little celebration every month when I get my period.  I'm always happy for people when they get the result they want.  

alexandducky412

larrygaga said:

I had literally no idea what was happening in this thread until I googled BFN

It's Big Fat Negative, for those who aren't up on the preggo lingo. 

That was my guess, I just didn't wanna ask and look stupid.

sophhabobopha

Yay!

CamiSelene

LadyMillil said:

From lurking on the bump - they say you should keep testing once a week until AF arrives. If you reach 60 days with no period and no BFP you should see a doctor.

This. Congrats! But def keep testing till AF comes like lady says.... I got 3 BFN's before my BFP

slothiegal

larrygaga said:

I had literally no idea what was happening in this thread until I googled BFN

It's Big Fat Negative, for those who aren't up on the preggo lingo. 

Gah, thanks gurl.  I'm sitting here like an idiot like, "Big Fuckin' Night?  Bad Friend Nightmare?  Bitchin' Free Nachos?"  

Yay for you!  I have definitely peed on a few sticks with my fingers and toes crossed waiting for that beautiful negative sign when I've been in positions in life where I was NOWHERE ready for a kid.

theartistformerlyknownas

slothiegal said:

show previous quotes

larrygaga said:

I had literally no idea what was happening in this thread until I googled BFN

It's Big Fat Negative, for those who aren't up on the preggo lingo. 

Gah, thanks gurl.  I'm sitting here like an idiot like, "Big Fuckin' Night?  Bad Friend Nightmare?  Bitchin' Free Nachos?"  

Yay for you!  I have definitely peed on a few sticks with my fingers and toes crossed waiting for that beautiful negative sign when I've been in positions in life where I was NOWHERE ready for a kid.

Mmmm. Nachos.

slothiegal

I know.  I wish I hadn't brought that up.  slothieguy and I are planning our week's meals/shopping list and now I'm all like "NACHOS.  ALL WE NEED ARE ALL THE NACHO SUPPLIES."

He is currently ignoring me.

theartistformerlyknownas

Beefy fiesta nachos.
Brie fruit nachos.
Badass fuckin nachos.
Bichon frise nachos? No don't do that.
Bacon fajita nachos.
Brownie fudge nachos.

VulgarGirl

I always think big fucking negative. And big fucking positive for BFP. But I just really like the word fuck.

LadyMillil

MagicInk said:

I always think big fucking negative. And big fucking positive for BFP. But I just really like the word fuck.

That's what I always think too. But I never use fuck unless I'm angry, and only in my head, so it's weird that's my first thought.

KytchynWitche

Guys, it's 02:48 and I can't sleep. DH just made us both a cup of tea (apparently he can't sleep either), and now I'm watching all the YouTube barbering tutorials because he wants me to cut his hair in the morning. 

I used to cut his hair when we first started dating (pretty badly), but that was because barbers in the city are fuckballs expensive, and the lady who usually cuts his hair was almost 5 hours away. And also zero fucks were given if he showed up at work with a weird 'do, but now he works with his dad, in a different (more corporate/business-y) industry, so professionalism and shit. Now we're 30 minutes away from her, and the barbers here charge like 10% of what they do in the city, so I don't get why he wants my inexpert home-cut when we can definitely afford the other option/s. I am terrified I'm gonna fuck this up.

theartistformerlyknownas

KytchynWitche said:

Guys, it's 02:48 and I can't sleep. DH just made us both a cup of tea (apparently he can't sleep either), and now I'm watching all the YouTube barbering tutorials because he wants me to cut his hair in the morning. 

I used to cut his hair when we first started dating (pretty badly), but that was because barbers in the city are fuckballs expensive, and the lady who usually cuts his hair was almost 5 hours away. And also zero fucks were given if he showed up at work with a weird 'do, but now he works with his dad, in a different (more corporate/business-y) industry, so professionalism and shit. Now we're 30 minutes away from her, and the barbers here charge like 10% of what they do in the city, so I don't get why he wants my inexpert home-cut when we can definitely afford the other option/s. I am terrified I'm gonna fuck this up.

You should have some nachos to calm your nerves.

KytchynWitche

lolo883 said:

show previous quotes

Guys, it's 02:48 and I can't sleep. DH just made us both a cup of tea (apparently he can't sleep either), and now I'm watching all the YouTube barbering tutorials because he wants me to cut his hair in the morning. 

I used to cut his hair when we first started dating (pretty badly), but that was because barbers in the city are fuckballs expensive, and the lady who usually cuts his hair was almost 5 hours away. And also zero fucks were given if he showed up at work with a weird 'do, but now he works with his dad, in a different (more corporate/business-y) industry, so professionalism and shit. Now we're 30 minutes away from her, and the barbers here charge like 10% of what they do in the city, so I don't get why he wants my inexpert home-cut when we can definitely afford the other option/s. I am terrified I'm gonna fuck this up.

You should have some nachos to calm your nerves.

That is quite possibly the best idea I've heard (um, read) all week! But we have no nacho supplies, so I'll have to make do with cheese wedge snacky-things (I have no idea what to call them other than "Melrose").

lurkergirl

lolo883 said:

show previous quotes

KytchynWitche said:

Guys, it's 02:48 and I can't sleep. DH just made us both a cup of tea (apparently he can't sleep either), and now I'm watching all the YouTube barbering tutorials because he wants me to cut his hair in the morning. 

I used to cut his hair when we first started dating (pretty badly), but that was because barbers in the city are fuckballs expensive, and the lady who usually cuts his hair was almost 5 hours away. And also zero fucks were given if he showed up at work with a weird 'do, but now he works with his dad, in a different (more corporate/business-y) industry, so professionalism and shit. Now we're 30 minutes away from her, and the barbers here charge like 10% of what they do in the city, so I don't get why he wants my inexpert home-cut when we can definitely afford the other option/s. I am terrified I'm gonna fuck this up.

You should have some nachos to calm your nerves.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I blame you for my Mexican food craving tonight.

Sugargirl1019

Whats up with the knot that everyone is late on their cycle? Because now I'm going on 3 days late. I've never ever skipped or been late (and mine only last 2-3 days on this BC).. Wuut. Ima go with stress. Yes.

But srsly the anxiety, because H doesn't want a baby now, and I'm on category x medications, and other health things need to be managed before pregnancy.

No cravings for Mexican food though. I had Chuys a few nights ago and that was delicious.

WinstonsGirl

KytchynWitche said:

Guys, it's 02:48 and I can't sleep. DH just made us both a cup of tea (apparently he can't sleep either), and now I'm watching all the YouTube barbering tutorials because he wants me to cut his hair in the morning. 

I used to cut his hair when we first started dating (pretty badly), but that was because barbers in the city are fuckballs expensive, and the lady who usually cuts his hair was almost 5 hours away. And also zero fucks were given if he showed up at work with a weird 'do, but now he works with his dad, in a different (more corporate/business-y) industry, so professionalism and shit. Now we're 30 minutes away from her, and the barbers here charge like 10% of what they do in the city, so I don't get why he wants my inexpert home-cut when we can definitely afford the other option/s. I am terrified I'm gonna fuck this up.

Go slow and only cut a little at a time.  Check often, to make sure it's even.  Just trim it up for him.  Don't try anything new.  A friend asked me to cut his hair once.  It turned out well, though he said it took about twice as long as going to a professional.  There was only tiny little spot where I cut a smidge too much

ETA - spelling

lovesclimbing

It's actually pretty easy.  Assuming his hair is already just a normal short crew cut-type, just go all over with one of those plastic comb thingies attached to the clipper. Then, shave the back of his neck and trim around the ears with a pair of scissors in a round shape.  It'll just fine.  My mom will always do shaping, which basically means cutting it a little shorter on the sides of the head and longer on top, but I'm not good enough to do that very good yet.

Using one of those plastic combs makes it so much easier!  I usually use the 3/4" one on H.