Did you want an engagement ring?

KnotRiley

Hey Knotties!

After you found the person you wanted to spend your life with, did you decide that you just didn't want or need an engagement ring? What made you decide this?

Let us know below!

amelisha

I knew I didn't need or want a traditional one, if that counts.

I don't wear diamonds for ethical reasons (both the human rights ones, the environmental impact of the diamond industry, and the artificial scarcity issue jacking up prices thanks to the diamond cartels etc.), so there was no way I was changing my stance for an engagement ring. I also didn't want anything that looked like a diamond but wasn't a traditionally-mined one for pretty much the same reasons, not wanting to appear to support the industry.

I would have been perfectly happy not to wear one at all, but I got a small, very inexpensive ethically-mined aquamarine-and-silver ring off Etsy so my fiance feels better because no one is giving him a hard time for me not wearing a ring, and I don't have to feel guilty about it. We spent just a couple hundred dollars on it and it does the job.

doeydo

If I were to get engaged, I would like an engagement ring.  I guess I like the tradition and the symbolism of it. 

classicalandedgy

This is my second marriage, quite frankly I was just happy to be getting it right the second time around and did not care if I got a ring.  What was important to me was just being with the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.

 

My fiancé however wanted me to have a ring and all that it symbolizes. It was important to him so I wear my ring proudly. 

laurieblp

I for sure did not want one. Can't stand wearing rings and knew I would stress about losing something expensive.  My fiance was thrown off by this so told him that I wasn't opposed to him spending $$ on my so he bought new windows for my condo.  Best engagement windows ever!!!

caitlinmca

My fiancé and I picked out my ring together. We looked a few times and then finally bought a certified round solitaire that I love.

southernbelle0915

I didn't really care about an engagement ring. The promise of a lifetime together meant more to me than anything else. He knew that, but he's traditional and wanted to get me one.

However, we both really wanted wedding rings and for those rings to be part of our ceremony.

vivelepunk

It's embarrassing to admit, but yeah, I always really wanted an engagement ring. I never wanted any other traditional wedding stuff (I've always wanted to elope), but a ring was important to me because of what it symbolized. I could never have seen myself getting engaged or married without a ring first. I was in too many relationships where marriage was brought up and then pushed off the table. To me, a ring signified an actual willingness to commit. 

So naturally, FI didn't have one when he proposed. Funnily enough, I didn't care in the least, I was just over the moon he had asked me to be his wife and I couldn't stop crying out of happiness. Later, he asked me what I'd like and gave me a budget and told me to pick something so I picked a vintage (1920) white gold ring with a diamond and sapphires. Now I think it's almost more important to him than it is to me. When I take it off for any reason, he sort of nags me to put it back on. We picked matching wedding bands, and I brought up the idea that once we're married, I probably won't wear my e-ring all the time, just my band. He did not like that idea, lol. 

So.. kind of funny how that worked out. I desperately wanted a ring until I found the right man. I absolutely love my ring (so much), but it's not nearly as important to me as I thought it would be before I met FI. 

JennyColada

My mom didn't have an engagement ring, and I always liked her wedding band.

Do I like the idea of an engagement ring? Yea, sure! But had my then-Fi not felt that one was important or was against it then I wouldn't have had an issue with that. Having an engagement wasn't very important to me, having the engagement itself is what I found value in.

whitney37354

I just wanted to marry him & I didn't need an engagement ring.  I would have been fine with a plain wedding band.  DH said he wanted to be sure that he was giving me an engagement ring that I wouldn't want to "upgrade" later.  I told him I didn't care what he gave me, so he picked it out himself.  He did a good job!  Twenty-one years later,I still wear my wedding ring set.  I wouldn't "upgrade" for anything!

Knottie1429926455

There was a time when I looked forward to an engagement ring, but after so much time together and shifting priorities, it wasn't something I cared about. FI was the one who insisted I have a ring, but he was too afraid to pick something out on his own, so his only requirement was that it be amethyst, because that's what I had told him I liked back when we first started dating. It's still not crucial, but now that it's on the way (just shipped two days ago) I'm so giddy about it. Our wedding bands came in yesterday and when I tried mine on it was so hard to make myself take it off, so excited to be his Mrs.

KnottieAK

We discussed this a lot. Our wedding etc. is very untraditional. I basically have our entire wedding, honeymoon, etc. planned even though technically we are not engaged - - as I don't have an engagement ring. We've discussed it seriously and honestly I'm no less engaged today than I will be when we finally get the ring I picked out. 

It's a very personal decision. 

We've met with some wedding vendors and no one mentioned that I don't have a ring on my finger. For me this was a huge relief. I was so afraid no one would take us seriously, especially since we are both relatively young (22 & 23). 

We actually got more of a reaction from our families that we aren't formally engaged yet. That's a bit discouraging, but with age differences it's not all that surprising. I have close friends in a similar situation and they're deciding to get a very small inexpensive ring to stick to a tradition, but she could care less about the actual ring - for her she wants the act of commitment.

Whatever you decide, stick to what you want. One thing I've learned is that everyone has opinions about EVERYTHING. At the end of the day you need to do what will make you happy.

Good luck!  

lovemesomemonster

I will jump in here and say yes, I did want an engagement ring but that is probably also my family influence as I never thought to not want one? Also my mom gave FI her ring that was from my dad (she has since upgraded to his mom's diamond because it's bigger) so there is the emotional attachment to the ring. I always told him I loved her ring and would be perfectly happy with it as is but he took the diamond and designed a new setting just for me and I LOVE it. 

After 6 years together I didn't have feelings either way about even getting married since we were fully committed to the long haul anyways, but now that it's happening I'm pretty excited to be his Mrs. 

TheArtemisMoon

My fiance actually already bought my ring and I didn't get a choice in the style. I like wearing it even though it wouldn't have been my what I would have picked. My fiance's band recently came in and he decided to go ahead and wear it before the wedding. He was met with some rude comments about wearing it before we got married but as he said, if I wear a ring to show I'm getting married, then he should too.

battlinlobster

I knew I absolutely did not want a diamond or a valuable solitaire stone ring. I travel frequently to foreign countries where it would be unwise to wear something expensive and I wanted to avoid what I felt was a competitive culture surrounding engagement rings. 

The girly part of me however, wanted a ring to look down and grin at. Something unique, handmade, and, yes, public. We ordered a lovely gold ring from Etsy with a flower design made from tiny diamonds and a ruby. I LOVE the ring. (I'm also a bit smug about have spent only a couple hundred bucks.)