Did you do a first look?

stephie25

Does anyone here regret doing a first look? Does anyone regret NOT doing a first look? FI and I keep going back and forth on this one. My heart wants to do the traditional he doesn't see me until I walk down the isle, but the practical side of me knows we will save time by doing it before. 

morenachica110

We haven't had the wedding day yet, but we were wanting to do the traditional too. But then I realized that we wouldn't have very much time for photos of just us two if we did it like that. So we are now going with a first look. I was a little sad at first but now I'm getting more excited about it than before! We'll have more photos (which was VERY important to me) and we'll have a more intimate first sight of each other than sharing with almost 100 other people. I think ou just have to kind of do a pros and cons of both (what I did). If you do that traditional way and possibly have some timing issues will you be unhappy or if you do a first look, but get more photos/time, will you regret it?

FWIW, I've heard/read that those who did a first look didn't regret it.

random4180

I didn't do one and don't regret it; it meant too much to us to save the moment for the aisle. But then we're also planning another photoshoot with our photographer after wedding season has calmed down a bit- a sort of TTD with our cats (yes, I am the insane type of person who bought bowties for our kitties for the occasion!) So if we didn't get the right pictures of just the two of us, we'll get them then! (We both have dried flowers for the bouquet and bout so we won't even be missing that.) It's a personal decision and I don't think anyone else can make it for you! 

KT020803

We didn't do a first look and I'm so glad we didn't. My husband is not an emotional guy and he got really choked up as I started coming down the aisle. The preview photos I've seen are amazing and I don't think it would have been the same if I would have just come up behind him.

I sent my photographer a list of photos that were important to me (even a pdf full of images I've liked) and she really worked with us and never pushed to do a first look to make it easier. We had a non-traditional wedding but that was one aspect I'm so happy we kept.

KatWAG

We did a first look and i dont regret it at all. We got a TON of pictures out of the way before the ceremony. So H and I were able to be at our entire cocktail hour and spend more time with our friends and family.

And I am convinced that nothing can take away from that amazing feeling when you walk down the aisle. I just didnt have any nerves because I had already seen him. But it was still great because none of our guests had seen me yet.

OUr first look also gave us a few private minutes together where we could talk and be alone. (plus the photgraphers taking pictures!)

ECOlson

We did a first look and it was a great decision for us.  I'm a pretty emotional person, and would've been a blubbering mess had I waited to see him until walking down the aisle.  It was also a great way to get all of our pictures done before the ceremony.  Our wedding and reception were at the same location, and we didn't want to keep our guests waiting while we took pictures after the ceremony.  I think it's totally up to you and your FI, though.  Go with your gut and on the day of the wedding you'll be so happy it won't really matter which decision you made regarding having a first look.

rlavach

If you do a board search for 'first look,' you'll find this is a common question. I haven't seen anyone yet say that they did it and regret that they did. We originally did not want to, but due to a lack of time, decided that taking pictures before the ceremony was the best idea. So because of that, we ended up doing a first look. It was absolutely the best decision for us. It relieved all of my stress & let me get all of my ugly crying out of the way. It also made DH feel so much more comfortable & at ease. He was so nervous it was driving him nuts. After that, it was smooth sailing. We were able to enjoy the rest of the day. 

blgrout

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_did-you-do-a-first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:5575a63d-02e9-43c9-8a0c-a6b9c6089dfePost:b6aaaddb-a64c-4804-888f-fbe36bafcf38">Re: Did you do a first look?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you do a board search for 'first look,' you'll find this is a common question. I haven't seen anyone yet say that they did it and regret that they did. We originally did not want to, but due to a lack of time, decided that taking pictures before the ceremony was the best idea. So because of that, we ended up doing a first look. It was absolutely the best decision for us. It relieved all of my stress & let me get all of my ugly crying out of the way. <strong>It also made DH feel so much more comfortable & at ease. He was so nervous it was driving him nuts. After that, it was smooth sailing. We were able to enjoy the rest of the day. 
</strong>Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]
 
^^^^This.  Every single bit of it, but especially the bolded part.

ETA:  Even though we did a first look, my DH still got choked up when I walked down the aisle, and that moment was still very special to both of us.  I don't think the first look took anything away from that.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_did-you-do-a-first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:5575a63d-02e9-43c9-8a0c-a6b9c6089dfePost:c2e7963d-358e-4df8-9e5a-7c4cad8a5ea0">Re: Did you do a first look?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Did you do a first look? :   ^^^^This.  Every single bit of it, but especially the bolded part. ETA:  Even though we did a first look, my DH still got choked up when I walked down the aisle, and that moment was still very special to both of us.  I don't think the first look took anything away from that.
Posted by blgrout[/QUOTE]
<span style="font-size:9pt;font-family:Verdana, sans-serif;color:black;">Agreed. I totally forgot to mention that. I still got teary eyed & he still gasped. The moment was just as amazing.

</span>

HobokensFury

We did one and I don't regret it at all. It's one of my favorite moments on our video.

texasgurly13

We didn't do a first look because of time constraints before the ceremony.  And H and I wanted to do it the traditional way.  

stephanie123456

We did a first look and I am also glad we did. We did it in the lobby of the beautiful, expensive hotel I stayed at the night before with my sister/MOH and where we got ready the day of and we were spending the night of. I was hyper-ventilating in the elevator on the way down to see my man, and I'll never forget the moment walking out of the doors and seeing my husband-to-be with his back to me, waiting for me to tap his shoulder...

The traditional aspect just didn't interest me and we got a lot of cool shots I wouldn't have gotten otherwise (we had the ceremony at a park by the beach and the reception at his grandmother's house/backyard) in this beautiful hotel lobby.

Totally up to you, though. If you're just thinking of doing it for practicality, then I would say go with your heart. You could also do a first look with your father and/or brother if you are close to them, so you get the best of both worlds!!

SuburbsMrs

We did not- before we got pictures of me with the girls, him with the guys, me and all of my family (of which my Mom loves her picture with her kids, my sister got a family photo, and my brother and his boyfriend got a wonderful picture together). So we did a lot of pictures before.

We were on the fence and I am glad we decided not to do the first look. When my brother escorted me around the corner H said Wow (I could see it from the other end of the small chapel) and that was a perfect moment that we shared.

So get your gut feeling and go with it. I am very happy we did not but I think it is a couple by couple decision and they are both valid.

kipnus

We didn't do one, and I'm glad. My favourite part of the wedding is always seeing the groom's face as the bride walks down the aisle, so I definitely wanted that to be the first time he saw me. We also did photos of each of us with our family and attendants before the ceremony, and then right afterwards, we did quick family shots (I had a list!), and then the wedding party. It probably took us about an hour and a half from the end of the ceremony until we were at the reception. Our reception was really casual, no grand entrance or program or anything, and after a few hours, H and I went out and had more photos done of just the two of us, when the light was perfect.

owengirl996

We did one also and don't regret it a bit. As others have said, we both still got emotional at the ceremony. It also helped calm DH down, and I LOVE the pictures of our first look! If you don't have two photographers, you can't really get both facial reactions during the ceremony like you can during a first look, unless someone happens to catch the one the photographer doesn't get.

I was orignally completely against a first look. But, my family and photographer (who is also my uncle) pointed out different reasons we should do one. I sat on it a while and finally decided it made more sense, and we'd get a more private, personal moment together to gush over each other Once the ceremony started (and finished), there was no time to gush!

L&J2012

We didn't, but we did something that was almost a first look. We stood on either side of a door and held hands and it was nice to be able to squeeze his for reassurance and to calm my nerves. I was open to a first look but H refused. Here are a few pictures:

meganb1977

We did a first look.  No regrets.  I'm not traditional or superstitious and I'm uncomfortable with big gatherings of people so I felt better about something more personal and intimate and it was nice to share a big hug and kiss beforehand and it was a very cute moment when we realized that all the ladies in the wedding party were watching through a window and they started waving at us.  And the photographer still got a good picture of the groom's eager face before I came down the aisle.  One thing about a first look that I didn't see pp's mention is that if your groom first sees you as you are coming down the aisle, you and your groom will be in separate pictures.  If you do a first look you can be in the same picture showing both of your emotions at once.  It's all up to you and your groom what you feel better about, and with a good photographer you will get great pictures either way!

L&J, that idea is adorable, love it.

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_did-you-do-a-first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:5575a63d-02e9-43c9-8a0c-a6b9c6089dfePost:bd1fd276-9be0-47c6-bf51-0fe75ad7ce60">Did you do a first look?</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anyone here regret doing a first look? Does anyone regret NOT doing a first look? FI and I keep going back and forth on this one. My heart wants to do the traditional he doesn't see me until I walk down the isle, but the practical side of me knows we will save time by doing it before. 
Posted by stephie25[/QUOTE]

<div>My DH and I did a first look followed by pics with the bridal party and close family. It's the only reason we had outdoor wedding pictures at all--it started pouring through cocktail hour and the first hour of the reception. I will never, never regret having done a first look.</div><div>
</div><div>And we still had a blast looking at each other across the aisle, then got to enjoy our entire cocktail hour with our guests.</div><div>
</div><div>However, if you really don't want to do it, absolutely don't do it! </div>

zizibet

We're doing a first look-we're having our ceremony after dark, and we have a gorgeous outdoor location. I'd like to keep that moment private between us anyway. Well, us and the photographers.

stephie25

Thanks for all the responses! I really think I'm leaning towards the traditional on this one. My FI keeps saying it sounds like I'm talking myself into doing a first look. I do however, LOVE the idea of the first touch picture  

Kimberly0402

We did not have a first look. The first time my husband saw me was at the doorway of the church as I walked down the aisle. I don't regret it for a single second. It's a moment we will have for the rest of our lives.

zantster

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_did-you-do-a-first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:5575a63d-02e9-43c9-8a0c-a6b9c6089dfePost:1253ed4b-b10d-4e95-8a30-e7b017695a69">Re: Did you do a first look?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for all the responses! I really think I'm leaning towards the traditional on this one. My FI keeps saying it sounds like I'm talking myself into doing a first look. I do however, LOVE the idea of the first touch picture :) 
Posted by stephie25[/QUOTE]
Your post and the responses made me think long and hard about it even though ours is quite a few months away.  My heart has always leaned towards the traditional.  I truly do care about my guests and will do everything possible to keep them informed, refreshed, and occupied while we take photos.  But I long to see the true first look on FI's face be from the vantage point of walking towards him down the aisle after being apart from him the day before.  Especially since we are very rarely apart.  And even though I'm usually quite a private person, I want family and friends to share the wonder of our love in that moment.  Then I look forward to eventually leaving them all behind and going off to just be on our own later.  So I'm like you and will stick with the traditional.  FI wants the same thing. 

Giaspo

We did a first look and I am so glad we did. To have that moment only to ourselves (and photographer and video guy-lol) made it that much more special. It also enabled us to take all of our photos beforehand and not be rushed, and spend more time with others. The ONLY regret I have, and it's a silly one, is that my BP wasn't dressed or ready when I got dressed. I love the photos of a bride surrounded by her BP helping her get dressed. I have that, but everyone is in their street clothes and it's not a pretty picture. If I had to do it all over again, I'd ask my BP to get dressed, or fake me getting dressed later in the day.

brian&liv

We didnt do a first look.  My H didn't want to..he specifically wanted the first time to see me be when my dad was walking me down.  I'm really glad we did it this way...for us, it made the ceremony more special.  We had an outdoor ceremony and cocktail hour with an indoor reception at a resort, but it stortmed big time. The ceremony was at 3pm, and the storm hit from 2:50-3:30....literally.  We had to move it all inside last minute, and I was devistated. I found out after our hair appointments, which didn't go as planned (the trial was perfect...but the day of was less than excpected...)  My BP and mom kept saying, if you want to see him or if that would help, it won't ruin anything. But I decided to keep things the way they were, and I'm really glad becuase I think if we would have seen each other, we would have just ran away and eloped like Jim and Pam (office fans, anyone?) Having that moment with my dad walking me down, and seeing my H was something I dreamed of, and made it really really special.

We did bride only and groom only photos before, and took the rest after (by bride/groom only, I mean bride + family, bp, etc. and groom + family, guys, etc.)  Our photographer was great and quick.  All we had to do after was together photos with grandparents, wedding party, and family.. We did those during the cocktail hour, which was about 1.5 hrs. Those took about 10 minutes, then we had the rest for just us or just our wedding party.  We then had a bigger grand enterance to the reception since they hadn't seen us since the ceremony, and we went table to table after dinner, so we got time with everyone still.  It worked out very well!

brian&liv

We didnt do a first look.  My H didn't want to..he specifically wanted the first time to see me be when my dad was walking me down.  I'm really glad we did it this way...for us, it made the ceremony more special.  We had an outdoor ceremony and cocktail hour with an indoor reception at a resort, but it stortmed big time. The ceremony was at 3pm, and the storm hit from 2:50-3:30....literally.  We had to move it all inside last minute, and I was devistated. I found out after our hair appointments, which didn't go as planned (the trial was perfect...but the day of was less than excpected...)  My BP and mom kept saying, if you want to see him or if that would help, it won't ruin anything. But I decided to keep things the way they were, and I'm really glad becuase I think if we would have seen each other, we would have just ran away and eloped like Jim and Pam (office fans, anyone?) Having that moment with my dad walking me down, and seeing my H was something I dreamed of, and made it really really special.

We did bride only and groom only photos before, and took the rest after (by bride/groom only, I mean bride + family, bp, etc. and groom + family, guys, etc.)  Our photographer was great and quick.  All we had to do after was together photos with grandparents, wedding party, and family.. We did those during the cocktail hour, which was about 1.5 hrs. Those took about 10 minutes, then we had the rest for just us or just our wedding party.  We then had a bigger grand enterance to the reception since they hadn't seen us since the ceremony, and we went table to table after dinner, so we got time with everyone still.  It worked out very well!

brommel

I wanted to, H didn't ... We didn't ... and we don't regret it / no grudges held

We took all the 'same sex' group shots before, so we only had to snap a few of the entire group when we got back to the hotel post-ceremony.

Like everyone else, I doubt you'll regret whatever you choose.  Happy Planning!  

[Deleted User]

I got married last weekend. We did a First Look & I am soooo happy that we did! It was great to be able to share in that private moment.  Seeing him for the first time walking down the aisle obviously wouldn't have been private.

Also, the First Look did NOT in any way take away from the feelings we both had as I did walk down the aisle.

I say go for it!!

saraschilling88

I got married on 8/18 and we did a First Look.

We were so happy that we did ours that way, because it gave us a chance to relax (we relax when we are around each other), and he got to give a real reaction because he wasn't as nervous.  If he had been nervous the reaction wouldn't have been the same.. I truly loved the moment, my Dad was there, our photographers, my aunt (who helped the photographers), and a few others who helped distract him while I was walking up the aisle.

The look on his face was priceless, and honestly I agree with cvmami78 that I don't think it changed the feelings we had when I walked down the aisle.  I still cried walking down the aisle, and he still looked up and smiled at me

I'm very glad we did a first look for timing as well, we did his photos, then our photos, then my bridal photos (while he rounded up the people for the next photos).  It went beautifully

I say if you want to do a First Look, then do it.  It will only "ruin the moment" of walking down the aisle if you let it, and can make that moment more special as well because you aren't as nervous.  I'm glad we did First Looks, wouldn't have had it any other way.

tally7

We did at it was a great way to get most of the pictures out of the way ===