Dear Prudence,
When I was in second grade, my best friend died suddenly of a brain tumor. Next year will be 20 years since her death. “Sara” was a wonderful girl: honest, bright, kind, and well-loved by everyone. I was a very shy kid then, and her extending herself to me was very special. We were only 7 when she died, and I didn’t know her family well, but they have an unusual last name and I recently found her older sister on social media. I often feel very alone in remembering Sara and feel the memories slipping away. I’d love to communicate with her family and tell them how special Sara was. I’d love to tell them my memories, even if it’s only silly things like how she’d share her carrots with me, and how she kept the peels on for the nutritional value, and how we dipped them in water to clean them. I’d love to tell them that she was considerate of everyone, including the class “troubled kid” who had a crush on her. I’d love to tell them how we met; I was alone on the jungle gym the first day of kindergarten, and she came and joined me, even though I was so shy that I initially tried to scoot away. But I don’t know if they’d prefer not to talk about her and how much hurt the topic would dredge up. Perhaps in a way, this letter is a way to share the memories of Sara. Do you think, though, there might be another way?