You've been kind, so boundaries are now your friend.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My co-worker “Klara” is functionally homeless since her boyfriend left her. She has been living in her car. I have a small studio and have been occasionally letting her spend a night or two, plus coming over to take showers. We are not friends, and tenant rules are strict here. I had a terrible time last year where my roommates refused to pay rent, stole from me, and terrorized me (one of their boyfriends even threatened to rape me). I deliberately got this place so I would not have to share my space. Klara has been grateful, but she has also been pushing me to let her stay longer and longer.  She has cried to people at work that she is afraid she is going to get attacked or hurt when she spends the night in her car. None of them are offering to take Klara in but have been wondering why I don’t. I am very uncomfortable here, and I don’t know where the line is between genuine kindness and gullibility. Klara says she is saving her money and looking for an apartment, but I haven’t pushed more.

—Co-Workers Not Roommates

banana468

You can help Klara point out places that are in her budget while also saying that if YOU fail to adhere to your lease agreement then you won't have a shower she can use. 

charlotte989875

Offer yo help Klara look for places in her budget, offer her resources on temporary housing and homelessness, but be firm with what you’re comfortable with. If this is too much you need to say so. Be kind but clear. 

STARMOON44

Tell Klara she cannot move in with you and needs to stop asking. Report her to HR if she doesn’t. 

kerbohl

Why are these coworkers wondering why someone who lives in a studio apartment with a strict lease agreement can't take someone in?  I agree with PP - boundaries, let Klara know what LW can do and what they can't do.  

short+sassy

Stop the guilt.  No is a complete sentence.  Klara's problems are Klara's problems.  It's EXTREMELY nice you are letting her take showers there and staying over, on occasion. That is very helpful for the LW to do for someone who...in their own words...is a coworker, not even a friend.

But I'm almost more disturbed that apparently everyone in the office knows ALL about the situation and has opinions about it.  Even having the audacity to side-eye the LW that they aren't doing more.

One of my pet peeves about the world in general, is people who expect others to volunteer to do the very things that they won't. 

downtondiva

I find it disturbing that everyone at the office thinks it's LW's responsibility to give Klara someplace to live. I wonder if LW can come up with a good answer that will shut them up without having to discuss anything they don't want to discuss at work.

Either way, at this point, LW needs to tell Klara that they're happy to help her find someplace to live that she can afford, but that Klara cannot stay with them anymore.

ei34

I'm left wondering why the coworkers are concerned enough to feel LW should potentially face eviction by taking Klara in, but not concerned to the point that they're offering their own homes?