Recently, I learned that one of my exes has transitioned, and I find myself confused about how to think and talk about our history together. For background, at the time that we dated (about 10 years ago), we both identified as cisgender lesbians. We have no current contact, and I am not looking to reestablish contact. Still, he was a significant person in my life, and it’s not unusual for experiences that included him to come up in my present-day conversations with others. Now that I know, I want to use male pronouns and his new name in how I conceptualize and speak about him. However, my memories are of a woman. I want to be respectful of who he is today, but I also can’t erase my own experiences. It feels inaccurate to describe that time in my life as me being in a relationship with a man or to talk about the experiences I had with him using male pronouns to refer to the person I was with then. How can I honor who he is today and still find a way to honor my own memories with this person?