Dear Prudence,
I agreed to be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding. When she first asked me, it sounded like your standard wedding plan, so I agreed. But the big day is in about a month, and the bride has changed everything so many times I can’t count. The bachelorette party has turned into a very, very, expensive bachelorette weekend. She wants us all to wear matching, expensive shoes. She decided just yesterday that she wants us all to buy and wear expensive jewelry.
It’s just gotten out of control, and I’m pushing up against my budget. I tried to tell her this right after she changed the bachelorette party and told us she was thinking about the shoes. I was hoping she’d give me an out, but she just said she’d try to make everything as cheap as possible.
I was talking to a friend online when our bridal party message popped up about the jewelry. I was typing to my friend about the jewelry when I sent a message that said “This wedding is getting out of control, I should have bowed out of the wedding a couple months ago, but now it’s too late.” I accidentally sent this to the bridal party chat. The bride has oddly not reacted. She hasn’t said whether she wants me in the wedding or not, but I have a feeling she doesn’t want to kick me out now. I feel terrible that I put this in the chat, and I don’t want to ruin her big day, but this is a huge financial issue for me. A part of me is worried she’s going to have me jump through all the hoops, pay for everything, and then decide right before the wedding that I’m not in it. Should I bow out?
—Thoughtless Messaging