He doesn't cry?

Plumbb2

Is it weird that I have been with by BF for 5 years and never seen him cry? He doesn't cry alone either, he just says he doesn't cry? My ex cried all the time, when we would fight and I would cry he would. Any ideas?

KatyRoseM

Some people don't cry.  Its not necessarily a problem.  Some people cry really easily, its not necessarily a problem.  Does he express his emotions another way?  Does he have strong emotions?  If so then why does it matter if he doesn't cry?  I cry at everything, my body cries when I'm emotional, it doesn't mean much.  Fi tears up a little at some things but doesn't really cry almost ever.  It doesn't mean he doesn't feel it or isn't healthy, its just a different way of having and dealing with emotions as well as different physical reactions. 

So why does this bother you?  What concerns you? 

AudgiePodge

I wouln't worry about it. Some people don't cry. Even some women *gasp*!

deburnin

Your BF not crying isn't the end of the world so I'm not really sure what kind of ideas you're looking for.

My BF almost never cries. The first time I saw him cry was when his dad died and he had just found out and then not for another four months. Him crying is the worse experience because it's so unlike him.

MLekathLEEN

I have only seen FI cry twice and both times were within the first 6 months of our relationship.

I wouldn't worry about it. Some people cry at anything and others don't.

coastiegrl25

My FI really doesn't cry.  I've seen him tear up and only cried once when he was worried about his Mom after she got diagnosed with breast cancer.  Even then it was a few weeks after he found out.  Some people aren't cryers (is that a word?) Doesn't make them any more or less of a good person. 

Plumbb2

I guess I'm worried he is holding back. His family doesn't encourage emotional feelings and, well I was raised by two older sisters and a single mom, it was a cry fest at everything.

I don't know I guess I feel like I'm missing a bond with him, liek he isn't letting me in since he wont cry around me. But I guess that soen's make a lot of since if he never crys around me or not. Just curious.

KatyRoseM

I understand that, I worried about that with Fi at first too.  But if he will talk to you, and doesn't cry alone it seems like he is letting you in, he is just different than you.  Talk about it with him, you'll probably feel closer in the end, or at least understand where he is coming from. 

calindi

Does he hold back on other things in regards to emotions?  Does he express how he feels about things or does he shut down?

My boyfriend sometimes gets withdrawn, especially when he feels bad about something (like he knows he's in the wrong of the argument).  I've seen him cry once or twice, but it's not something he does often or needs to do.  Honestly, when he starts crying, it means he hasn't verbally expressed what is inside his head, so crying is actually an indicator that he's holding back.  And thus far, as soon as he's started sniffling, he's spilled everything he was holding in and we've talked it through.

Then again, we joke that I cry at the drop of a hat.  Sometimes we'll be fighting and I'll start crying, and he'll try to make me feel better and I'll yell, "Just ignore the damned tears!  I don't want them, and I don't want your pity!  I'm angry, damnit!  This is my angry face!"  And usually it makes us laugh in spite of the situation, since I get so frustrated that I can't stop crying!

rxjen

Dexter Morgan does'nt cry eaither....yup..

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_doesnt-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:55d27a21-9d73-48fe-87a4-30c5ce3efc55Post:29ad62f8-a91d-4fc8-a842-16bbe3743eb3">Re: He doesn't cry?</a>:
[QUOTE]Dexter Morgan does'nt cry eaither....yup..
Posted by rxjen[/QUOTE]

Dexter Morgan doesn't have to cry <3

loves2shop4shoes

A lot of people don't cry.  In 3 years, I've seen FI cry a few times, but it's not a normal occurrence for him.

As long as he can communicate with you, I wouldn't be concerned.

Wrkn925

I had a bad period in my life.  Rough break-up, buried 9 relatives (not all close) in a two year period.
I think I "wasted" all my tears then.  I can't cry, even when I feel like I should.
Sometimes it sucks. I was there when my grandpa passed away, and I didn't cry then or when we buried him.
It makes me look rather cold.

BF only cries when he drinks whiskey and beer together and I get mad at him.
Well, that only happened once.

The point of my rambling, some people just don't cry.  For whatever reasons.

ETA: When my grandpa hit the "all downhill" point, I allowed myself a night. It took 3/4 of a bottle of Southern Comfort and watching "My Sister's Keeper" to break me.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_doesnt-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:55d27a21-9d73-48fe-87a4-30c5ce3efc55Post:29ad62f8-a91d-4fc8-a842-16bbe3743eb3">Re: He doesn't cry?</a>:
[QUOTE]Dexter Morgan does'nt cry eaither....yup..
Posted by rxjen[/QUOTE]

I heart Dexter.  Can that be my free pass?

marleylikeair

I wouldn't worry about it. Men in our society are conditioned not to cry. I've never seen my BF cry even when he was really upset.

In 2 1/2 years, I never saw my ex cry either, until we were breaking up. Even then, it was pretty self-contained--a few tears, but no sobbing, and it didn't last long. And he was a pretty sensitive guy who wasn't trained not to be emotional.

Never seen my brother cry either (unless you count when he was a little kid.)

If you feel like you never know how he's feeling, that's a different story, and you should definitely sit down and talk to him about it if that's the case.

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_doesnt-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:55d27a21-9d73-48fe-87a4-30c5ce3efc55Post:28164ac0-c8a9-4f8b-8ab6-8de04ea992c8">Re: He doesn't cry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: He doesn't cry? : I heart Dexter.  Can that be my free pass?
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

He's already mine. Can two people have the same free pass? What are the rules on that?

rxjen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_doesnt-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:55d27a21-9d73-48fe-87a4-30c5ce3efc55Post:eddf2881-40d3-4277-88ec-8e6f51f1ece2">Re: He doesn't cry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: He doesn't cry? : He's already mine. Can two people have the same free pass? What are the rules on that?
Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]


I dont know what free pass is but Angel Batista is spoken for...Thanks :))

Beads921

I've seen BF cry once, and I don't remember what it was about or why. That's once. In over 3 years. Some people just don't cry. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a thing.

jemmini6

I've never seen FI cry.  He's never seen me cry.  Not because either one of us can't or won't, we've just been very blessed to not have a reason to cry *knock on wood*.  It's a nice change actually.  I cried all the time with my ex everytime we fought, which was often, most of the times he cried too (mostly because he was a whiney biotch who would do something stupid, then cry to get pity points so I wouldn't get mad at him).  Actually, FI has seen me tear up, which is when my mom called to tell me my dad was spending my wedding money (before we knew how much)...which come to find out, was the day that my FI bought my e-ring.

People show their emotions differently. (Plus he could be lying to you about crying when he's alone too, especially if his family has engrained the "men don't cry" thing).  I really don't think you have anything to worry about.

LizzyTish88

I've seen BF cry a few times. Does that make him weird? You all seem to be dating men that don't cry. Maybe BF is a wuss? Oh well, he's my wuss.

figment23

My FI has the emotional range of a teaspoon. His functional range is "really happy to kind of bummed out" he just doesn't have extremes of emotion and he doesn't express any at all. His reaction to pretty much everything is completely flatline. He says it's because he's an engineer, I don't know, but reportedly strongly mathematical people tend to be that way, with very little range for emotional expression

Some people are just like that. I've gotten used to it. Certainly crying doesn't mean much.

PaigeMcC

Never seen FBD cry.

Plumbb2

Thanks all, you're making me feel like he is not completely heartless . He would probable laugh at me if he knew I was writing this, then say, "I told you so." I think he makes up for it with other emotions, he does get extremely excited about things and also extremely mad some times (not at me, just other people, mostly who can't drive .

kalizoomba

The only time I've even seen my fiancee close to crying was at his grandmother's funeral. He's been sad a few times, but no where near sad enough to cry. I only cry when it's that time of the month and he upsets me by not giving me a foot rub or some other dumb reason.