Dilemma

[Deleted User]

 

bethsmiles

If they are still together, yes she must be invited.

heyimbren

Beth is correct, but for your "future" wedding don't be concerned about it right now because relationships can change so much (either between the BIL and his GF or between the GF and you) over time. Most people (even on other boards around here) are going to tell you that yes she must be invited, but don't stress over that until it's time to send out invitations. Which isn't until just before the wedding.

GreenPepperBurger

If someone physically abused me, I'd press charges - not ponder on whether to invite them to my "future" wedding.

heyimbren

Actually I have second thoughts:

1) Ditto GPB.

2) Is your date on your profile an approximate? That's 4 and a half years away! That is way too future to be thinking about anything wedding planning related.

Button5807

Maybe she'll get hit by a car in the next four years and you won't have to worry about it.

Think back in time four years are you still super close with everyone you were then? Have you not met anyone new since then?

Saying it's too early for you to be thinking about this is an ridiculous understatement.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_future-wedding-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5b93d639-0635-4f67-b1df-d42c71396f9ePost:3ff3ed99-acf7-46fb-97dd-d21c004df3cb">Future Wedding Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey everyone, So I was wondering about something for my future wedding. I have a "brother in law girlfriend" person that I have been dealing with for about five years now. She has put me through hell-<font color="#ff0000">physical</font>, mental, verbal <font color="#ff0000">abuse</font>..<strong>.I refused to give up on our relationship because between the drama; we have weakend.</strong> Yet, we are still together after six years. The girlfriend has a baby to his brother, but my question was, would you still invite her?
Posted by kellabella336[/QUOTE]

The bolded section is very unclear. I have no idea what you're talking about there.

But I agree with GPB apart the part in red -- if someone harmed me physically, I would not be putting myself near that person ever again. That's a line that should not be crossed.

Is your BF or his family aware that this person has abused you physically? I can't imagine that they would expect you to make nice with someone like that, regardless of a child.

In fact, I don't know why they'd allow a child to be around such an abusive person.

Physical violence is not okay, and I would certainly think twice about wanting to join a family that accepted that kind of behavior.

CWill16

I would not be inviting someone who hit me, absolutely not. I would not have anything to do with this woman and if your SO is not supporting you on that I would be questioning our relationship. If he wants you to be nice to and continue to be around someone who is not only emotionally mean but has physically hurt you I would be weary.

run21

DAHhhh!!! There are no "future dilemnas" in life. If it's not a dilemna NOW, it's not a problem. Don't worry about her right now. Live your life. Have a good relationship with your bf. Get engaged. And don't think about it again until you have to. Worrying over things that might never come to pass is a waste of time.

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_future-wedding-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5b93d639-0635-4f67-b1df-d42c71396f9ePost:368565e0-f4b5-49ea-ae76-633d6b85aa3e">Re: Future Wedding Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]DAHhhh!!! There are no "future dilemnas" in life. If it's not a dilemna NOW, it's not a problem. Don't worry about her right now. Live your life. Have a good relationship with your bf. Get engaged. And don't think about it again until you have to. Worrying over things that might never come to pass is a waste of time.
Posted by run21[/QUOTE]

She seriously took the words right out of my mouth.

** I think I need to get me one of them there tinfoil hat thingamajiggers Paige's dog has cause she's reading my mind!**

notquiteblushing

I feel like you should worry more about this in the future.

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the input. The date is not 4 years it is sooner and we do plan on getting engaged soon, just waiting to purchase a house so it isn't soo much future. I do look into wedding planning and so forth because with my life, I need things done and refuse to have someone else plan things for me. I do think about having her in my wedding yet as of now, I don't because she would find a way to do something and I refuse to invite her to be respectful after being disrespected all along. Plus, it will be my wedding