'Provocative'

JoeAnne2013

So a few days ago I e-mailed my FMIL the link to the wedding website I set up just so she could have a 'sneak peek'. I never received a response back and wasn't exactly expecting to, but while talking to her today I just happened to ask if she had received the e-mail. She told me she did and she had wanted to send it to her family that lives out of country, but after reading it realized it was too provocative to share!

Seriously?! Apparently the problem is with "Our Story" which reflected back on how we met and our first date. The "provocative' part? Well on our first date we ditched our original plans, hopped on a train, went to visit my future brother in law, got drunk in the park and passed out back at my FBIL's apartment. Not exactly the most romantic or typical, but provocative? I didn't think so.

Anyway, the save the date magnets are ordered, have come in and have the website on them and guess what?! The stories are staying exactly the way they are.

Just wanted to share/rant.

Sassenach1743

There's just no accounting for some people's views. I wouldn't worry about it.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_provocative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1771bb64-5df6-4d33-bf07-b44adbc76ad1Post:9abbfa47-cbc7-4283-af47-7f9783cfdd9a">Re: 'Provocative'</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I dont think "provocative" was the word she was actually looking for, but I can understand why she doesn't want to send a story about you and her son getting shitfaced and spending the night together on your first date.  It's not provocative, and I don't judge the actions themselves, but publishing them on a formal correspondence and sending it to all your friends and family is a little... looking for the right word here... low class?  tacky?  crass?  
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

ok.  so you have custody of our brain tonight.  Probably for the best.

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_provocative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1771bb64-5df6-4d33-bf07-b44adbc76ad1Post:9abbfa47-cbc7-4283-af47-7f9783cfdd9a">Re: 'Provocative'</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I dont think "provocative" was the word she was actually looking for, but I can understand why she doesn't want to send a story about you and her son getting shitfaced and spending the night together on your first date.  It's not provocative, and I don't judge the actions themselves, but publishing them on a formal correspondence and sending it to all your friends and family is a little... looking for the right word here... low class?  tacky?  crass?  
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed.</div><div>
</div><div>The first night FI and I went from friends to romantic interests was when his friends played a game with me called "Finish Your Drink" in which I got completely bombed and do not remember the night at all. That's the real story of how we got together, but it is not on my wedding website. </div>

bridalmarch

Crass was what crossed my mind. 

My second "date" with FI happened when I got too drunk at happy hour and called him for a ride. As he helped me out of the car, I puked all over him. He still helped me inside and to be, then took a shower and stayed the night with me to hold my hair back. This is a story his family loves to call me on, but not something that belongs on our wedding website. 

RamonaFlowers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_provocative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1771bb64-5df6-4d33-bf07-b44adbc76ad1Post:94f8568b-7e61-40c7-830d-5706877e913a">'Provocative'</a>:
[QUOTE]So a few days ago I e-mailed my FMIL the link to the wedding website I set up just so she could have a 'sneak peek'. I never received a response back and wasn't exactly expecting to, but while talking to her today I just happened to ask if she had received the e-mail. She told me she did and she had wanted to send it to her family that lives out of country, but after reading it realized it was too provocative to share! Seriously?! Apparently the problem is with "Our Story" which reflected back on how we met and our first date. The "provocative' part? Well on our first date we ditched our original plans, hopped on a train, went to visit my future brother in law, got drunk in the park and passed out back at my FBIL's apartment. Not exactly the most romantic or typical, but provocative? I didn't think so. Anyway, the save the date magnets are ordered, have come in and have the website on them and guess what?! The stories are staying exactly the way they are. Just wanted to share/rant.
Posted by JoeAnne2013[/QUOTE]

I'm going to ditto Stage here, I'm thinking that maybe "provocative" just wasn't exactly the word that she meant. That being said, I can totally get why she doesn't really want the story of how her son got drunk off his @$$ and passed out with a girl he barely knew at the time plastered all over the internet.

I'm not really judging what you (as 2 consenting adults) did that night but I can totally get why she thinks it's something that Great Aunt Mildred who recently discovered Facebook doesn't really need to be exposed to.

JoeAnne2013

I wasn't intending on anyone other than those who are being invited to the wedding to see the website. I'm glad she felt the website was too provoccative to share, why send the website to family members who may later expect to be invited to a wedding that they aren't invited to?

We are having a 'smaller' wedding, everyone that knows us as individuals knows our personalities well enough that I felt comfortable with sharing our full story with them.

JoeAnne2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_provocative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1771bb64-5df6-4d33-bf07-b44adbc76ad1Post:11f860d8-a6e8-4bbf-a592-2473ea3b21bb">Re: 'Provocative'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to 'Provocative' : I'm going to ditto Stage here, I'm thinking that maybe "provocative" just wasn't exactly the word that she meant. That being said, I can totally get why she doesn't really want the story of how her son got drunk off his @$$ and passed out with a <strong>girl he barely knew at the time </strong>plastered all over the internet. I'm not really judging what you (as 2 consenting adults) did that night but I can totally get why she thinks it's something that Great Aunt Mildred who recently discovered Facebook doesn't really need to be exposed to.
Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]

FI's brother was also my childhood best friend, at the time of our first date we had already known each other and each others families for about ten years.

ANNND to boot, the blurb makes it clear that it was all pretty much in good fun, talks about how we house hopped to visit friends and we were in a group all night. I would hope that our families wouldn't think we were all...Yaknow.

StephJean83

I have known my FH since birth and shared a bed with him as kids when our families would go camping together. The story of how we went from "friends" to "fwb" to "dating" will be an abridge story of we started chatting on FB than texting. When he came home from his extended business trip, we hung out a few times and than after the Packers win over Alanta on their road to the Superbowl, we decided to make it official. We will leave out the fwb stage and that the day we "officially" started dating he said, "Well, fluck it. We're dating!"

OjitosVerdes

No judging whatsoever from me on the circumstances themselves, but I agree including it on the website is probably a little "crass". If it were only accessible to your friends that's one thing, but I think you should take into consideration the fact that it obviously embarasses your FMIL and she's not comfortable with it. 

FI's and my story of how we got together is somewhat more "provocative" than yours is, and while it would be great to say f*** it, this is who we are and this is what happened and plaster it all over our website, I am aware that people in his family who I've not met will perhaps form their first impressions of who I am based on the limited information available to them. And who I am is a reflection of my parents, to some extent. So in order to avoid embarassing any of us, they'll be getting a somewhat edited version of our story. 

Edited to say - your story would be just as fun and spontaneous if you left out the alcohol/passing out part. 

Peledreamsofrain

My husband and I have a ton of fun stories about our dating life that didn't make it onto our wedding website because they weren't up to the standard of class we wanted projected for a formal event (the drunken phrase 'do me now' is often giggled over in my household).  

Your FMIL wants to be super proud of the wedding, and her new family member.  If I were her, I'd be reticent about sharing your site too.  I wouldn't want to hear feedback from my family asking 'um.... so this girl....... you sure about her?"  Fielding that kind of judgement right out of the gate isn't joyous or fun.

ROBINRENE5

Ditto PP. My FI and I have a less than romantic story of our beginning days, but I wouldn't want it posted on the Internet for everyone to see. Ill agree with PP that "provocative" probably wasn't the correct word, but there are several other words that could be used to explain how it is inappropriate. When you're having a beer with your friends, sit back and laugh about how the 2 of you met. Enjoy the memories! But no need to post it for everyone to read! If your FMIL doesn't want to share it, that is probably a good indicator of how others will feel when they read it too. Just because it is ok in your head, doesn't mean others will perceive it the same way.

kmmssg

I agree with the others.  Crass is the word I would choose.  I'm a 3 time MOB.  Even for a small wedding I would have died if any of my girls posted a story like that to their wedding websites.  Thankfully, I don't know their more intimate details in how their relationships blossomed into full blown romance and I sure as heck don't want to know.  I also don't want the aunties/uncles/g'parents/Godparents/anyone else knowing it from a wedding website.

It would look FAR more classy to remove this from your website.

dem068

just a note of caution, even if you are *only* sending the save the dates and thus the website to your close friends and family, once you put something on the internet, it is there for everyone to see.  Not only can links be forwarded around, but if someone googles your name and wedding date it might come up and then you never know who is reading your engagement story that was not meant for wide distribution