He said he wants to make sure that latter on I won't try to take half of everything from him. Is that how it works that everything he has now and has later will always be his? I was a little hurt that he was so mean about it but I guess I understand. The only thing he has in his name is the house we just bought and his car and bank account. I tried to look it up but don't understand it very well.
Re: My fiance won't get married unless I sign a prenup
[QUOTE]He said he wants to make sure that latter on I won't try to take half of everything from him. Is that how it works that everything he has now and has later will always be his? I was a little hurt that he was so mean about it but I guess I understand. The only thing he has in his name is the house we just bought and his car and bank account. I tried to look it up but don't understand it very well.
Posted by mellymellon[/QUOTE]
Depends on whether or not your state is a community property state. In my state, for example, community property (stuff you have to split 50/50) only applies to things you acquire after the marriage. But even then, it's totally possible to buy stuff and designate it as separate property when you buy it. If your name is on the deed, you're entitled to 50% of the value of the house, married or not. If the house is in his name only, you wouldn't be entitled to any of it because it was acquired before the marriage.
Whatever you do, understand what you're signing before you sign it.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
However... from my understanding, anything gained during the marriage is split? Just anything before the marriage is protected? I'm sure the ladies can help me out here.
A pre-nup is by no means a bad thing. But, I have to say... I don't like his wording (if it is his wording, sometimes its easy to forget when you're confused
Good luck!
Prenups aren't bad, and shouldn't be about his needs only. How do you feel about things that were yours separately? How do you think things should be split? Do you have assets to protect?
[QUOTE]Get a lawyer. Don't chance a thing. Sounds like you don't understand and need some help. Get a Lawyer. Good Luck.
Posted by hellerc1[/QUOTE]
I totally agree with this. Get your own separate lawyer, a prenup is to protect you BOTH. If you've put money into the house or any other assets prior to marriage, make sure that in the prenup, it is included that you're entitled to your share if the marriage dissolves. If you have any other premarital assets, make sure those are also protected. Don't allow yourself to be screwed over, don't agree to or sign anything that you do not 100% understand. Good luck to you.
I dated a guy for 2 yrs and he mentioned needing a prenup before etting married (mind you we were no where near engaged) and I left.
I think unless youre a commoner marrying a price, president, or famous person...a prenup is an insult
People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
[QUOTE]I think unless youre a commoner marrying a price, president, or famous person...a prenup is an insult
Posted by DondadaTimes2[/QUOTE]
<div>I disagree with this. My best friend went through a situation where they almost lost a family business because one of the siblings got a divorce, and the wife was owed half of his interest in the business. They almost had to sell the business in order to generate the cash they owed her. They got through it, but a prenup would have protected his family. How bad would it suck to lose a business your grandparents built because your uncle got a divorce, you know?</div>
I have no idea if you are dealing with a really great guy who wants to protect what is his prior to the marriage, or if you are engaged to a selfish jerk. Asking for a prenup doesn't make someone a selfish jerk.
Is he always pretty territorial about what belongs to him? Prenups aren't a bad thing, but as everyone has said, you need your own lawyer to reveiw this before you sign it.
Pre-nups do not protect one person, it should protect both of you. If he just said, "let's think about a pre-nup." He is not a jerk. Now if he framed it, I don't want you to get anything...well than he is a jerk.
Edit: Did you help with the down payment or mortgage payments? Then hopefully, your name is on the deed. If not, get it on there asap or talk to a lawyer. Please protect yourself too. If not, then you can be in a really really horrible position later on. (Think worse case: what happens if he throws you out at 2am without anything other than the clothes on your back? What is legally yours? protect yourself always.)
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
[QUOTE]I know everyone has said to get a lawyer, and I agree. At the same time, I am 100% against a prenup. IMHO, if you want to marry me and you believe that I am the one and you trust that when I say 'I do' I mean I want to be with you forever....dont tell me you trust me untill I decide to leave you and take your money. I get that there are bad divorces and some women really will take it, but thats not for me. I dated a guy for 2 yrs and he mentioned needing a prenup before etting married (mind you we were no where near engaged) and I left. I think unless youre a commoner marrying a price, president, or famous person...a prenup is an insult
Posted by DondadaTimes2[/QUOTE]
So you left the guy solely because he asked for a pre-nup? If that was the only reason, he probably lucked out if you're so short sighted to assume the only reason for a pre-nup is a lack of trust.
My business partner and I did (in her case) or are doing (my case) pre-nups because our business needs to be solely the other's if one of us dies. It has nothing to do with whether I trust my fiancee, but I spent fourteen years building a business with my partner and she deserves to own the whole thing free and clear if I die, simple as that. It's my duty as a husband to ensure my wife/widow is taken care of I die, and I'll make other arrangements to ensure that happens.
Married in Vegas - June 2011
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My fiance won't get married unless I sign a prenup : So you left the guy solely because he asked for a pre-nup? If that was the only reason, he probably lucked out if you're so short sighted to assume the only reason for a pre-nup is a lack of trust. My business partner and I did (in her case) or are doing (my case) pre-nups because our business needs to be solely the other's if one of us dies. It has nothing to do with whether I trust my fiancee, but I spent fourteen years building a business with my partner and she deserves to own the whole thing free and clear if I die, simple as that. It's my duty as a husband to ensure my wife/widow is taken care of I die, and I'll make other arrangements to ensure that happens.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]
i agree with everything said here
I'll add that prenups are also a good way to figure out how one spouse will be supported or taken care of if he or she stops working to raise children. If you're a stay at home mom for 10 years and then get a divorce, it will be very hard for you to get a job right away that will support you and the kids. A prenup can at least set out some guidelines on how that will happen.
You can also amend a prenup after you get married if you like. You'd once again need to have your own lawyer and make sure you understand everything.
Better to think of this stuff now while we're happy! But I agree with others - make sure you know what you are signing!
Prenups are scary because they seem like you're planning your divorce before you're even married, but they can also help you plan your marriage. They can help you to figure out how you're going to handle your money during your marriage. You may also be able to talk about clauses that discuss what happens if someone cheats, or the counseling you have to do first before filing for divorce. Sometimes marriages are broken, but sometimes people don't want to work through their problems (which may certainly last several years). The interesting thing about recession is that divorce usually drops because it's expensive. By saying what you have to do before getting a divorce, you may make it easier to reconcile. (What? Am I being a Polyanna? Sure, but it's definitely the hidden upside to prenups that people forget.)
Thanks guys! I just didn't understand what it is.and No the house is his, and only his..we live in FL. I think it's pointless but I agree with everyone that if I have to sign, I need a lawyer too.
[QUOTE]I know everyone has said to get a lawyer, and I agree. At the same time, I am 100% against a prenup. IMHO, if you want to marry me and you believe that I am the one and you trust that when I say 'I do' I mean I want to be with you forever....dont tell me you trust me untill I decide to leave you and take your money. I get that there are bad divorces and some women really will take it, but thats not for me. I dated a guy for 2 yrs and he mentioned needing a prenup before etting married (mind you we were no where near engaged) and I left. I think unless youre a commoner marrying a price, president, or famous person...a prenup is an insult
Posted by DondadaTimes2[/QUOTE]
Totally disagree. A friend of mine divorced after 20 years of marriage, and his wife wants (maybe got - I can't recall now) half of his RETIREMENT. He is only nearing 50 now. They will have been apart, oh 15-20 years by the time he retires.
That's bullshit. She didn't stick around; she doesn't deserve it.
My ex husband tried to pull that with me. Hilarious, since the amount ended up being about $500, less than what he'd have to pay in court fees. It would have also opened the entire house up to me to get half. And I paid for WAY more than half the stuff in that house.
Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew