J&K

barbbhoww

I read your post in confessions:
I confess that through nothing that FI has done, I'll never feel like an equal partner in this relationship because I'll never make as much (or probably even half) money as he does.  I know this is my problem and not his, and I don't know how to fix it   I hate feeling inadequate and having to rely on someone else financially.

And feel the same as you.  100%.  It is so hard because I love what I do but make less then what most people make....I would NEVER be able to live on my own and hate that I wouldn't be able to support myself.

J&K10910

What do you do?  I feel the same way.  At the job I just left I made little enough to qualify for medical assistance and food stamps (not that I wanted either).  We did good work, we busted our butts, and we got crap in return.  But when I wasn't getting screwed on hours or getting my ass kicked by our residents, I really did love what I did.  I'll never leave the helping profession, but damn, you'd think someone would figure out a way to pay us what we're worth.

Thanks for commiserating.  I'm sorry you feel that way too.  It really sucks, but it's nice to know I'm not alone (though I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone, I'm sure you get what I'm saying).

jasmineh7777

J&K, I commented in the other thread as well, but I know exactly what you guys mean.
 I love my job a lot, but it doesn't pay well at all. H isn't bothered by it, but I sure am.

J&K10910

Jas, you're still in school right?  So you probably don't even work full time to earn benefits?  That's one benefit of human/social services.  Usually have awesome benefits to "make up for" low salaries. 

DodgersBride

I feel this way sometimes. I make way less than FI. I also feel like I am not pulling my weight. FI never makes me feel this way nor has he ever complained about paying most of our bills. Most of my check goes towards my medical expenses, some bills and groceries. FI pays everything else.

I think what gets me more mad or down on myself is when people always ask me how can we not have money to do this or do that when we probably make a combine income higher than there's and they have children.

jasmineh7777

I work 20 hours at one job and about 16 at the other, both in the same field. Even when I go to full time this summer, the benefits are pretty non-existant.

I also don't love the specific company I work for; I just love the work, As it is, there is only one company here that offers these services.

I think you're right though J&K, regarding pay scale for this field. I could never do adult services. It would be too physically and emotionally challenging, and the pay doesn't reflect that at all.

jennylove810

Oh hai, can I jump in this thread?

I have almost the opposite problem, but it sucks just as much.  I really don't make a lot as a DJ, but H is in school full time so he makes even less.  In radio, DJs get let go all the time for reasons as simple as your station wanting to go with a different 'sound' and while I think I'm pretty safe, it's stressful to know that I make so little, yet if something happened, we'd BOTH be totally screwed.

katiewhompus

Toss me in this one as well! With H's raise he makes in 2 weeks more than I make in a month. I'm going to start looking at new options next fall so hopefully that will make me feel a little more stable. It terrifies me that if something happened to H I wouldn't be able to take care of myself, much less a kid. I couldn't even afford the basic bills and would have to move in with my parents.

MarriedInAFever

I'm in the same boat. In fact, I was so frustrated by making SO little money doing something I'm passionate about that I got a better paying job doing something I have absolutely no experience with and am NOT passionate about. And I think that actually sucks more. Stay true to your passions!

katiewhompus

Oh, and this is what H always tells me when I get down on myself about this situation.

He makes the living, and I make it worth living. I may not make the money but I make it worth coming home at the end of every work day.

jasmineh7777

I love that Katie.

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_jk-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0c92ed79-3e62-40ba-b3c8-990231370aaaPost:d1ec9aa8-50e8-40a4-a866-d09b524ddf11">Re: J&K</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and this is what H always tells me when I get down on myself about this situation. He makes the living, and I make it worth living. I may not make the money but I make it worth coming home at the end of every work day.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

Awww =)

pixiedust84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_jk-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0c92ed79-3e62-40ba-b3c8-990231370aaaPost:d1ec9aa8-50e8-40a4-a866-d09b524ddf11">Re: J&K</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and this is what H always tells me when I get down on myself about this situation. He makes the living, and I make it worth living. I may not make the money but I make it worth coming home at the end of every work day.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

That's really sweet.

jasmineh7777

Okay J&K here's my feel-better thoughts:

Before you die, you're not going to worry about how much money you made. You're going to remember what you did with your life, who you spent it with, and how you made a difference.

You're helping people. You can say that you make a difference in this world. You're lucky enough to have a husband that loves you and supports you in your endeavors. At the end of the day, that's a pretty good place to be.


(Did that work?)

J&K10910

You guys all rock, and I'm sorry you all feel that way.  It blows.

Jas, that's usually the mindset I try to keep, but every once in awhile it just gets me.  But that's what I strive to think about!  Thanks